<p>If your parents are not happy with your decision, your life will be miserable. As parents, we do have idiosyncratic and inconsistent views, that is certain. IU is a huge party school. Students die every year from alcohol abuse. You see them drunk in the streets quite often. It has been a huge turn off for my kids. The Lauren Spierer tragedy does not help at all. Check the rankings with Psychology programs.</p>
<p>If the OP is not happy with her decision, she will be MORE miserable and $40K further in debt at the end of four years. She will only see her parents for about 4 months per year once she is in college (and likely less after her freshman year, as many students research on campus or get internships after that). She needs to do what is right for her. Many large colleges are “party schools”, and students die from alcohol abuse on many campuses every year. If the OP steers clear of abusing alcohol at IU, they will likely be fine. </p>
<p>Students across the country die every year from alcohol abuse. IU is no worse than 50 other big state schools. Avoid the heavy partying subculture and you’ll be fine. It’s probably worse to be at an isolated LAC with a heavy drinking culture and no social alternatives.</p>
<p>Friends of ours sent 2 of their children to Cornell and one to IU (all OOS). They have nothing but good things to say about IU.</p>
<p>Sadly the Lauren Spierer situation can happen anywhere. IU is a very popular school for those from the NY Metro area as of course is Syracuse but the majority of people I’m familiar with who attend Syracuse do so because of very specific programs that Syracuse is known. Both schools have reputations as party schools with big fraternity/sorority life. Syracuse as a city is pretty run-down although the campus itself is nice. For what it’s worth a friend of younger d’s was held up at gunpoint in Syracuse several years ago. She selected Syracuse over SUNY Buffalo and several other options because they gave her a fair amount of merit money. She graduated one semester early but almost returned there for grad school as they do have a strong graduate program in psychology.</p>
<p>When I bring up IU, my parents both immediately tense up and become upset with me. I do understand their frustration as I got into more well-known and higher-ranked schools. All they really know about IU is that it’s a party school in the middle of nowhere with a high acceptance rate. My father has said in every conversation that he sees nothing special about IU and does not want to send me there. After that, there is never any further discussion on the matter and I’m at a loss as to how to get through to either of them. I really don’t think my parents think that greatly of Syracuse. They just really hate IU. I’ve also had friends tell me that IU is “beneath me.”</p>
<p>@cobrat: A large number of my father’s successful business partners and clients are Syracuse alum. They all speak very highly of their alma mater and many sent their congratulations upon my acceptance. Other than that, my parents are not really knowledgeable about either school. Like I mentioned in my first post, they go off of how famous the name of the school is and not much else.</p>
<p>It is completely unreasonable for them to force you to attend a more expensive school with you being responsible for the additional costs. Unfortunately, you are not the first student who has posted this kind of conflict with the parents.</p>
<p>Re: fraternities and sororities</p>
<p>Some web searching finds that Syracuse has 21% of men and 26% of women in them, while Indiana has 16% of men and 18% of women in them. If fraternities and sororities are considered undesirable, then it would appear that they are easier to avoid at Indiana than at Syracuse, both due to the lower percentage and larger size meaning that there are more students and activities not involving fraternities and sororities. However, Indiana’s three times larger size means that more students will be in fraternities and sororities than at Syracuse, even though the percentage is lower.</p>
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<p>If there is “nothing special about it” and he thinks Syracuse is more special, then you should ask him to pay the $40,000 difference in four year attendance cost. Now… you may get a surprise. Maybe your parents don’t actually intend to make you pay the money back at all; I have heard of parents out here on CC who say things like your parents do about student paying back, then tell the kid as a graduation gift that they don’t really owe them the money. It is possible that your parents are trying to trick you into working harder because you think you will eventually have to pay for it. I have hesitated to mention this because, of course, this may not be the case at all.</p>
<p>But I think you have to use that logic with them – that they should only dictate where you are going to attend if they are willing to make up the cost differential to the school that is important to them. If your parents think you are “too special” for IU, then they should be willing to put some money into proving that.</p>
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<p>A lot of Orangemen I knew with one notable exception who attended speak highly of Syracuse. This has to do with a mix of great school spirit cultivated by the campus culture’s emphasis on big sports and partying and/or its excellent IR and architecture programs. </p>
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<p>If you’re going to be expected to pay your parents back in full after graduation or paying your own way…then your father isn’t really “sending you there”. </p>
<p>IMO, that’s not very different if my own parents were foolish and foolhardy enough to assert “they sent me” to my undergrad alma mater considering they didn’t pay a cent for my undergrad tuition and expenses thanks to the near-full ride scholarship/FA package and my working part-time to defray the difference. </p>
<p>Unless your father is willing to pay all or most of your undergrad expenses without expectation of paying back…his use of the word “sending you” is implying a level of support far greater than what he seems to be willing to give…and a level of entitlement of control over your college choices which doesn’t seem to be warranted in this situational context. </p>
<p>I agree with intparent that if your parents insist on pursuing the more expensive option to assuage their feelings of your “specialness”…they should at the very minimum be covering the $40k difference as they’re the ones doing the insisting. </p>
<p>IU is not “beneath” anybody. It is actually an excellent school, among the very best public schools in the country. Plus, Bloomington is actually a lovely small town, far nicer than Syracuse. Bloomington is NOT rural, it is small town and probably the most sophisticated town in Indiana.</p>
<p>You have made a great decision, given your situation. So stand tall on that. However, I have no advice on how to persuade your parents. Well… You could threaten to take a year off, and actually apply to Binghamton. If they are going to make you pay them back, then you should choose an inexpensive school. It is simply NOT FAIR for them to object to your choice of the cheapest school you were accepted to, while also insisting you pay them back.</p>
<p>One reason your parents might not like IU appears to be because of the networking issue. Your father knows lots of Syracuse alums, and probably does not know any IU alums. That’s because IU alums get jobs in the Mid-West and Syracuse alums get jobs in the NE. Do you want to live in the Mid-West? It is an important consideration. </p>
<p>Bloomington is a nice town with many great international restaurants (Afghan, Tibetan, Burmese…). Although it is quite isolated, an hour from an airport (large one), an hour from a real mall, it has most things that a person needs. It is very rural. You can walk from campus to a corn field, even cattle are not too far. People speak with southern accents, some northerners have a hard time adjusting. It has a beautiful town square. People are friendly and cost of living pretty low. There is some serious racism there, not on campus, as far as I know, but in the town. The racism has been pretty painful for some of my close family members. </p>
<p>"“My father has said in every conversation that he sees nothing special about IU and does not want to send me there”"</p>
<p>Frankly, your dad isn’t sending you anywhere. He’s expecting YOU to pay for all. Your parents are rather nervy. they want to make all the decisions and stick you with the bill. You need to stand up and point out these glaring inconsistencies. I’m appalled by this.</p>
<p>researchperson; Have you ever visited Bloomington? I ask because you’re not describing Bloomington, you’re describing what people generally think of when they hear Indiana. People do not speak with southern accents. Actually, I’ve never heard a southern accent on campus. A considerable amount of east coasters attend IU as well, so much so that there is a large social scene just for those seeking that. If you want cornfields and cattle, that walk will actually be more like 45 minutes. Cost of living is very low, great for students on a budget that still want to eat out 4-5 times a week and take a taxi around town (Yes, taxis are a thing in Bloomington because the town is pretty big.). Students have died on campus, but there have been less than 5 deaths this year out of 46,000 students in a college environment. Considering some of the problems facing top 20 colleges (Greek hazing, sexual assault), those numbers are not bad. While Indiana is generally considered bad for minorities, Bloomington is one of the more liberal college towns in the Midwest and racism isn’t prevalent at all. IU realizes this and is on a constant mission to increase diversity on-campus. </p>
<p>OP; Have your parents visit IU with you. Try to set up a tour with an east coast students (will not be hard) and get their perspective. A LOT of students are from the NY/NJ area. While they are outnumbered by kids from the suburbs of Chicago and St. Louis, they have a presence. I’m in the business school so I can’t speak on behalf of psychology, but if it’s what you want, fight for it. Indiana will give you the traditional state college experience of a lot of peers, 750+ clubs/extracurricular activities, professors from around the world, and a strong social scene that anybody can find a niche in. </p>
<p>This post is bias as I’m a current IU student. However, I had a lot of assumptions about IU before actually attending. All in all, I was completely wrong. </p>
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<p>This is a bizarre statement. Indiana in the Midwest, not the South.</p>
<p>???</p>
<p>People at IU don’t speak w/ southern accents! </p>
<p>Granted those who come from southern Indiana do have some southern influences, but even in TRUE southern schools, FEW students have southern accents. At my kids’ undergrad in Alabama, you will rarely encounter a student with a southern accent because young people today have been so influenced by TV. It’s actually a surprise to hear a southern accent.</p>
<p>That said, the whole idea of having a hard time adjusting because of a regional accent is nutty anyway. Californians don’t have trouble adjusting at NE schools because of strong NE accents. NE people don’t have trouble adjusting in the Midwest because of the twang that exists there.</p>
<p>IU has a great music school. Syracuse has a great MFA in writing program. IU has a highly respected business school. Syracuse has a highly respected school of communications. Doesn’t sound like you are aiming at any of the above, so why IU <em>or</em> Syracuse?</p>
<p>If your parents are really going to make you pay for it, you should have applied to Binghampton and Geneseo. (Personally, I have always put Syracuse on my mental list of private colleges not worth paying for in comparison to public flagships.) But I think they are just huffing and puffing, as intparent suggests. They want you to go to Syracuse because of your father’s business connections and the bragging rights they see in that context. The only way they can put you on the hook for anything above the federal loan amounts is to cosign loans with you, right? And if you don’t pay, they have to. </p>
<p>@NROTCgrad: I agree, I really dislike when people say such negative things about the schools other people choose to go to. I do not particularly want to live in the mid-west, but I am considering UMichigan for grad school. I figure it’s just another plus to go undergrad in that general area and see if I want to spend another 4 years there.</p>
<p>@researchperson: I’ve heard all those things about Bloomington from friends who are current students. I don’t know if the racism will bother me. I’m Korean, Japanese, and Irish and I’ve been the butt of plenty of jokes from both my Asian and Caucasian friends.</p>
<p>@mom2collegekids: My parents are a little unreasonable and close-minded at times, but as long as I’m under their roof I can’t make any huge decisions without their approval. They’re the kind of people who will start a completely unrelated argument if they feel like they’ve lost the current one, so we pretty much get nowhere.</p>
<p>Here’s a couple Indiana accent Youtube videos:</p>
<p><a href=“- YouTube”>- YouTube; (two cute girls from landlocked Indiana don’t know what a buoy is, heh)</p>
<p><a href=“- YouTube”>- YouTube;
<p>For me, those are not southern accents at all.</p>
<p>@Consolation: Indiana’s undergrad psychology program is well respected and ‘better’ than Syracuse’s. I was accepted to Syracuse’s dual program (Newhouse/College of Arts and Sciences). When I applied back in the fall I was interested in journalism, but I realized it was not the career path I really wanted to pursue. My parents are aware of Newhouse’s reputation, but they respect the fact that I do not want to major in communications.</p>
<p>Going to Indiana will probably not be a factor for graduate school at Michigan (or anywhere else). About the only time that your undergraduate program affects your graduate program is when they are both at the same university – and that situation can be either bad or good.</p>
<p>One way to start persuading them that Indiana is a good choice is to show them that Forbes magazine actually ranks IU higher than Syracuse. IU is number 97, while SU is #123 See this: <a href=“Forbes America’s Top Colleges List 2022”>http://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/list/</a> Also, BusinessWeek ranks the Kelley School of Business at IU (#13) far higher than Whitman at SU (#72). See this: <a href=“Bloomberg - Are you a robot?”>Bloomberg - Are you a robot?; True, you do not plan to major in business, but that is a wide gap (and reflects reality, because Kelley is top notch). At least this gives respectability to IU which they might not have known about.</p>
<p>@NROTCgrad: I didn’t mean that IU itself would help me get into Michigan, but that being in the midwest would help me decide if I want to be in that general area for grad school. Thank you for the link! I was not aware of the Forbes ranking.</p>