<p>My son is considering joining a fraternity. He asked me to help him out a bit. I think the dues should come from his spending money–of which he has sufficient to cover them. I would agree to give him money for food, the same amount I would have given him for the dining plan.</p>
<p>How do others handle this? Also, what are the other types of expenses he will have during the year as a brother?</p>
<p>I pay my own fraternity dues. You can expect to pay just dues while he’s not living in the house, if they have a house. If he lives there next year he’ll have to pay rent. Then there’s miscellaneous expenses here and there for social activities, shirts, and certain forms of contraband :)</p>
<p>I think that expenses differ. I think that whether you offer to help financially is a personal decision. If you want to discourage this, you might put all expenses on his shoulders. If finances are an issue, you might also request that he pays. This is not a necessity, but an activity he is chooosing. My son was going to join one this year. We discouraged it and told him that we were not in favor of it. We told him that he would need to pay dues if he went ahead with this. He also knew the consequences should grades suffer as a result. He decided not join 
He is happy at school and has found plenty of things to do without the fraternity.</p>
<p>My son joined one, but, unlike many others, not until the second half of his junior year. It was an unhoused fraternity so he still had his room and board through his college housing and meal plan. He had well-paying summer jobs and thus plenty of his own spending money, and all fraternity dues and other fraternity-related expenses were paid by him.</p>
<p>H and I pay the dues. Son could pay the dues, I guess, since he’s working- but it would be a wash. Instead of his paycheck going into his checking account, as it does now, to pay utilities and groceries, it would go toward the fraternity, and then WE would have to put money into his checking account for utiltities and groceries. In the end, it comes out the same. That which does not go from one of HIS buckets to the other, will come from one of our buckets to the other. It’s easier from a logistical standpoint for us to pay the fraternity bill.</p>
<p>^doubleplay, that is true, but my son fortunately does not see it that way. He sees it as “his money”. Naturally, you are really right.</p>
<p>My parents made me pay for dues and related expenses-shirts, pin, parties-balls. They paid room & board-as it was same at the University’s. We plan to do the same for our child should the question come up.</p>
<p>My son very briefly considered a frat. The dues were $500 (included no housing). He didn’t even bother asking for the money - he knows we wouldn’t give it to him, so he didn’t join.</p>
<p>Mine paid his own way. His choice. Both kids have been taught that when they say “dad, I don’t need your money” I go from telling them what to do, to offering advice. 
</p>
<p>He put his big boy pants on and made his own decision. At first I didn’t approve, but as I learned more and interacted with his frat brothers… I learned he made a very good choice on his own and against my initial wishes. Couldn’t be prouder to be wrong…</p>
<p>My sorority expenses are much higher than most fraternities (~ $1000 per semester). My parents pay for the vast majority of my school expenses… They would rather I save money during college so that when I graduate, I can pay for all my own expenses without any loans hanging over my head.</p>
<p>Sorority dues are a different story since they aren’t a “school expense” per se. We’ve worked out a GPA-based system (based on the previous semester) which really does motivate me to do well.
They’ll pay for my dues if I get above a 3.5, half dues if I get above a 3.25, and if I get below that, I pay my own dues that semester.</p>
<p>I put my own money towards all t-shirts, formal favors, etc.</p>
<p>I think students should pay their own frat dues, especially if they’re normally in charge of paying their own “spending money.” If you normally pay housing and meal plan costs, then you should continue to do so, unless you want to actively discourage joining.</p>
<p>My son entered college this fall with around $500 in his checking for spending money (gas, outside food, personal items, etc.) It was his money, left over from summer job. If that money ran out, we’d just have to put more money in his account. If that money wasn’t there to begin with (for example, if he had traveled or taken classes over the summer instead of working), we’d have to put the money in his account. So I look at the whole “who’s paying” issue to be somewhat of a red herring. Now, if a parent actually does NOT want their kids to join a fraternity, that’s a personal family decision that IMO doesn’t really have much to do with who’s paying the dues. </p>
<p>My bro-in-law used to tell us how his kids paid for their own cars out of their summer and part time jobs. Finally I asked him, “who pays for their personal and entertainment expenses while in school?” The answer- “Oh, we do”. My response- “In other words, you just bought the car.” I look at it as a one-half-dozen-or-the-other type arrangement. One way or the other, you’re going to end up paying for something.</p>
<p>Our situation may be a little different because our college expenses are so low. Therefore, we have more resources left over for enrichment activities- whether our kids want to join a fraternity, travel, take an extra semester to graduate- we’re not on such a string that they can’t do those things. Had they gone to a very expensive university, perhaps most of the activities they experience currently as a fraternity member, would be built into their dorm experience. Those are the kind of lifestyle costs, benefits, and tradeoffs that go into the college decision process.</p>
<p>^Wish my parents were more like you. When I needed a car, my parents told me to get a full time job and buy one, then give them the 1k each year in insurance. When I wanted to pledge my fraternity, I had to pay the 1.5k a semester out of my own pocket (Ya’ll are lucky you have cheap dues with 500 to a thousand bucks). Spending money? I had to get a job at college. </p>
<p>I don’t really complain because, in all honesty, it hasn’t been that hard for me to take summer courses and hang out while working to pay for all my expenses at the same time. I even did a summer program that I had to pay for on my own (the joy of fundraising). Point is, if it’s an activity they want to do…they should pay for it.</p>
<p>Doubleplay—my friend does a similar thing with her sons. They work, and she takes every single paycheck to put away toward school. She then gives them money to spend out of her own money. How they’re learning any kind of responsibility, I don’t know!
Are sorority expenses usually that high? Does the student have to pay it all at one time? Is Greek housing about the same as dorm housing?</p>
<p>My patents always paid my dues and are currently paying for my little brother’s. But our chapter has a house, we always lived in the chapter house when we could, so most of the actual money to the fraternity was for room and board (and even with the extra cost of dues, this ended up being 1200-2000 cheaper than the dorms depending on the year - may be even more this year for my bro)</p>
<p>When I was a senior and lived out of the chapter house in a duplex with a couple friends, my parents paid for a meal plan at the chapter house, my fraternity dues, and then gave me the rest of the money they would have spent had I lived in to help cover rent and utilities. I waited tables to cover my entertainment costs.</p>
<p>The way the fraternity does it, is we get a bill every month (sent directly to our home- isn’t that convenient? They know exactly who to extend their palm out to.) Son has a part time job at his U; theoretically he could use those earnings to pay the dues. It’s easier for us to just pay the bill ourselves, and have him use his part time earnings to pay for his food and utilities.</p>
<p>I paid my GLO dues when I was in school. We were billed on a monthly basis.</p>
<p>D is also paying her own dues. They are billed by the semester and it’s listed as an expense on the tuition bill. So she wrote a check to cover her sorority expenses and H and I paid tuition, R&B and all the other university fees.</p>
<p>We told him we’d pay the first semester (unhoused) since he’s a freshman, but by second semester he should find a job to continue it.</p>
<p>we pay D’s sorority dues; she hasn’t lived in a dorm since second semester sophomore year. Room and board at the sorority is quite a bit less than a dorm, so we see it as a savings for her to live there.</p>
<p>No, we don’t pay the dues…and we told our son that when he was considering joining. He went ahead anyway - and the dues are significant because he is not living in the house this year. Next year, he is moving to the house and his room and board will be less than it would be if he lived in campus housing. We’ll give him what we would have paid if he wasn’t in a frat - so next year it will be easier on him.
BTW, we just got a letter from the adult advisor of the frat - welcoming us and laying out all the dues…with a clear assumption that we would be writing the checks. Don’t think so…</p>