<p>We split the sorority dues with our D. She lives in the sorority house and gets better, more reliable housing that way. She pays for parties and incidentals like t-shirts.</p>
<p>My D knew going out of the gate that she would pay most of her dues (formal dresses, incidentals, etc). I think as sophomores she was part of a small handful of young women who paid their own dues. She tells me that now most of her friends pay their own dues.</p>
<p>We paid for everything; yet reminding him that the fees were really subsidizing their parties and initiation expenses which were huge. As long as he was having fun as well as being a serious student, we gladly paid.</p>
<p>We told S we would not pay toward a frat and he decided not to join, for which we are grateful. He continues, however, to second guess his decision (as a sophomore) so we aren’t out of the woods yet. He has plenty of money, but is frugal to a fault so I think the cost is a significant consideration, although I have no idea how much that amounts to at his school. </p>
<p>I am not convinced that the money is all fungible, at least in our family. What we will and will not pay for is clearly delineated and we settle accounts regularly. He would be expected to take out loans if his summer earnings and savings were not enough to pay his portion.</p>
<p>TheAnalyst-
Fungible in terms of if and how many hours a student chooses to work, if it’s a negotiable issue at all. Many parents don’t require their kids to work during the college school year (I don’t). When students work, it puts a new card into play- the “what will you do with the money” hand. As a parent, I can tell my son that he must put all his part time earnings toward college expenses- R&B or tuition. If he chooses not to work, or to work less hours, then the rest comes out of my purse eventually. </p>
<p>It’s an incentive effect, similar to graduated tax rates. The more I “take” of his paycheck (i.e. mandate he spend on expenses I would otherwise cover anyway), the less incentive he has to work at all. So if I mandate that I will A) not pay for a fraternity, and B) any earnings that he draws during school must go toward his foodplan (which I normally pay anyway); guess who’s not going to get a part-time job? From the viewpoint of the student, it’s pretty much a no-brainer decision.</p>
<p>Even with the dues included, it’s a lot less expensive for my daughter to live in the house instead of the dorms, so I gladly pay. She pays for all the extras, though.</p>
<p>DD went through rush last year. We told her that any expenses related to a sorority would need to come from HER spending money, not ours. We viewed this as discretionary, recreational expense. We don’t pay for that.</p>
<p>We will pay for our son’s Fraternity expenses. He is pledging right now. There is no Frat house, so the expenses aren’t too bad. He has money from working in H.S. and college, but he is using that money for some expenses and part of his tuition, so we are helping him with other expenses.</p>
<p>My family is from Brazil and that’s where we grew up and where my parents still live. Imagine my parents’ shock when their sonmy brothertold them he was joining a frat his school (Penn). They had no idea why anyone would join a frat because that doesn’t exist in our culture! Well, what they decided to do was pay up to whatever they would’ve paid had my brother been living on-campus and on that dining plan. My brother has to pay the difference. That seems fair to me.</p>
<p>needless to say, if you have the means, you should pay for the fraternity dues of your son. i’m of the opinion that if your parents can’t afford to pay your dues, you shouldn’t be in a fraternity.</p>
<p>if your parents arn’t willing to pay for your dues for whatever reason (at least for your first semester), then your parents just are a little obnoxious, imo. for subsequent semester, if your grades suffer, i can understand parents not paying dues.</p>
<p>Yes, I realize frat dues go toward a variety of things, which may or may not include housing or food, depending on the school, but they also usually go toward beer and hard alcohol for the brothers and the rest of the student body, many of whom are underage. I really don’t think parents are out of line for refusing to pay for alcohol for a bunch of college kids. I know my parents wouldn’t do that. My sister is in a sorority, and she pays the dues. My parents would pay the portion toward housing if she lived in the house, which she does not, or the food if she were on a related meal plan, which she is not.</p>
<p>A slightly different take, as son did join a national frat, but it is a professional, service oriented music fraternity (Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia), not a social organization. His particular chapter does not have a house (from what I know, most Sinfonia chapters do not.)</p>
<p>His dues were reasonable, around $125 per semester.</p>
<p>We considered any professional memberships (ASTA, MENC, Am. Viola Society, etc.) as well as professional periodicals to be part of his educational costs, and as such we covered them while he was in school. He was responsible for any peripherals such as lettered items, materials, & social event costs. </p>
<p>Once he graduated, alumni dues and professional membership renewals became his responsibility.</p>
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<p>H and I aren’t anti-Greek at all and could pay D’s dues. As a long-time NPC alumna and chapter advisor, I have seen that the student is more invested in the GLO if the student has invested his or her personal $ into dues.</p>
<p>D’s sorority dues are about $1,000 or so a year. We agreed to split them and she would investigate scholarship money to help out. If she landed any, it would apply to her half. I was surprised, as was she, at how much it costs. She will reassess this year and decide if it is worth it. She is quite frugal with her money and I wanted her to have a financial stake in the experience to make sure it is worthwhile.</p>
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<p>So, fraternities should only be for people whose parents are rich enough to pay their dues for them? I mean, I just don’t understand what you’re saying here.</p>
<p>My parents decided that I pay my own dues (though at $175 a semester they are much cheaper than many listed here!), while they pay for rent to the house because that obviously just replaces money for university housing. They also help pay for some of my formal wear, though I’d understand if they didn’t (my mom just liked to go shopping with me!)</p>
<p>We will be paying the dues for our son. He didn’t join a fraternity until junior year–so it was not a quick decision for him–in fact he is still a pledge. I tend to look at it as a college EC and we have paid for those for the older kids. Even though I tried to talk him out of doing the Greek thing, he feels he is getting some positive returns already on his decision. Just last night when talking with him, I commented that I was getting irritated with how much time he was spending doing his pledge duties, going to meetings, etc, etc. His reply was “Mom, this is the first thing I have ever had to work this hard for–I think it’s good for me–it has made me manage my time more, has introduced me to more people than you can imagine (was a junior transfer),forced some leadership upon me and helped me learn a lot about this school and it’s history.” If, in fact, these things are true–I’ll pay without regret.</p>
<p>S lives in the chapter house and we pay his dues, about $500/semester. Housing, house meal plan and dues are still cheaper than dorm r&b. He pays for any extras out of summer earnings and his on campus tutoring job. Fraternity membership has been a great, positive experience for our son.</p>
<p>weskid,</p>
<p>yes, i am kinda saying that. if your family can’t afford the $1000 extra a year or so for a fraternity, then maybe the money you make during the summer/school year should go towards relieving a little of the financial stress off their shoulders–not so you have an extra house to get drunk in.</p>
<p>of course, if your parents just say no–then i guess you have to suck it up and pay for it yourself.</p>
<p>“i’m of the opinion that if your parents can’t afford to pay your dues, you shouldn’t be in a fraternity.”</p>
<p>Did your mom tell you to say this? Are you planning a career in the family business? </p>
<p>Honestly, I feel embarassed for you. At what point in life do YOU decide your a big boy or big girl enough to foot somethings for yourself?</p>
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<p>I don’t know how things work at your school, but at many, people live in their fraternity houses, and at mine, when you factored in the meals that came with it, it was cheaper than the dorms.</p>