"My husband and I have been lucky enough to meet a lot of our financial goals, and that has led to well-being and low stress. But I don’t live in the land of the financially self-righteous. I have seen enough loved ones get randomly and unfairly ravaged by the economy and misfortune to ever let my guard down. My hope is that Millennials will read Gabler’s story and understand the truth: Money is a precious resource, and a tool to get the things you value most in life. So yes, set goals, with timelines. Back into what you need to save today to get to where you want to be tomorrow.
Go ahead and make choices with your financial well-being in mind. It doesn’t make you another person. It makes you a responsible person. It makes you free."
To the OP, thanks for starting the thread. I knew the article would create an interesting discussion. I do remember that the writer moved to the Hamptons for the sake of finding decent public education for his kids, so perhaps less frivolous than on first examination. Knowing a number of Long Islanders, my impression is that public appearance perhaps matters more than in some other parts of the country, so easy for those of us from the hinterland to judge.
His honesty is refreshing and brave.
Having just seen The Big Short recently, I was stunned by the feeling of never ending excess in the movie back in the '06 or so. Due what we thought was permanent growth in real estate prices, as a culture we were on a gluttonous run, and many bad decisions were made, and values formed at that time. This is a far more sober decade, though folks like the writer are suffering as a result of decisions made at richer times.
I had a meeting with the folks who run my work 401K recently. These young duo of financial advisers were impressed with my solid savings (nothing impressive, in my book), as they see many, many folks who cannot connect the monthly paycheck deduction to the end result of affordable retirement. They say they want to retire at a certain age, but cannot take the rational steps to fund it.
The downturn in journalism as a decently remunerated profession is frightening for democracy. My sometimes significant other is another victim. He was in agricultural journalism till that went down the tubes. He ran a community weekly newspaper, but that closed due to lack of advertising revenue in '08. He tried to start his own paper, had some backing, but the pressure of selling ads back at that time, as well as writing and publishing the entire thing became impossible. He has driven school bus, worked as an aid in the schools, and has sworn off writing. I so miss his irreverent and insightful voice on paper. It was all he ever wanted to do in life.
@greenwitch, I remember that Andrews book and the articles associated. I think he is the same person who, in his book, wrote about how he felt he should at least be able to drive an Audi when all his high-flying friends and associates were driving BMWs.
The problem is that Gabler evidently feels that his consumption choices define him as a person: “The alternative [i.e. living within one’s means] is to be another person.” That statement basically reveals his sorry belief that your consumption choices define your very personhood. More BoBoism.
Ah well, as Charles Dickens wrote in David Copperfield, Chapter XII: “Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.”
Chapter XII
“The problem is that Gabler evidently feels that his consumption choices define him as a person: “The alternative [i.e. living within one’s means] is to be another person.” That statement basically reveals his sorry belief that your consumption choices define your very personhood. More BoBoism”
I’d love to send the Dickens quote to dh’s ex-boss. The man makes >$1 million/yr. yet he’s in debt up to his eyebrows. He seems to have a great need to impress others with his stuff and is never satisfied with what he already has. His new wife (he traded in the first on a younger one) is unhappy now that he’s had to cut back on his spending after being turned down on his latest loan request. His adult son was continually running overdrafts, so it appears he follows his father’s example. Ex-boss would complain at work about how unfair it all was, which did not garner the sympathy he wanted.
I reread what Gabler wrote. I think some of you are misrepresenting what Gabler said.
I especially love these lines…I remember when I was young…
Anyway…he wrote more…I am just highlighting this…
[quote]
I chose to live in New York rather than in a place with a lower cost of living. I chose to have two children. I chose to write long books that required years of work, even though my advances would be stretched to the breaking point and, it turned out, beyond. We all make those sorts of choices, and they obviously affect, even determine, our bottom line. But, without getting too metaphysical about it, these are the choices that define who we are. We don’t make them with our financial well-being in mind, though maybe we should. We make them with our lives in mind. The alternative is to be another person.
I never figured that I wouldn’t earn enough. Few of us do. I thought I’d done most of the right things.
I believe what he was saying was not that the consumption defined him as a person, but his PROFESSION defines him. That is, if readers are thinking, “Well, he should have chosen a more lucrative profession!” – Gabler’s answer is that that would require being a different person.
I don’t want to sound like I am defending Gabler, because I am not, but I have to correct one notion that has been scattered throughout this thread. He lives in the Hamptons as a townie, year-round. That is not the same as having a summer house there. People who live there year-round are not rich. They are townies and live in modest homes. He did explain that in the article.
Seems like he could have stayed a writer, but just taken many side jobs that paid the bills. When we lost our jobs, that was what my husband did. Funny, I’ve never seen my FIL so proud as when he found out his son was working as a valet.
And he still does an awesome job parking cars, though now he doesn’t get paid $7/hr for it.
Sounds like you don’t live in NY. The co-op board has to approve your buyer. The buyer submits a “package” to the board that includes financial and other information. A buyer can be rejected for any reason that is not illegal. Usually the reason for rejection is financial. A co-op owner has to have enough resources (in the opinion of the board) to be able to pay the monthly maintenance fees, which are not insubstantial. But it could be other reasons, such as they do not want lawyers (yes, this happens).
@brantly, you are right. I don’t live in NY, but my son does. We were thinking of helping my son buy a place but just reading Gabler’s story was a wake up call.
I don’t like not being able to get out of a financial situation.
I think what is probably rubbing people the wrong way in this story, is that after all the self reflection and baring his problems out there for everyone to see (which is very brave)…he still doesn’t seem to get it. Maybe he grew up in a wealthy family, and his way of thinking is completely different than most of us on here. Perhaps if I read the story several times over, I’ll see that he actually does get it. But I have to go to sleep now, so I can get up at 2am. And work at a job that pays the bills…even if I have to get up in the middle of the night. :((