Thank you, ClassicMom98! It is super fun. Even moreso since I’m scared of heights, lol…
1 Like
We had our first taste of empty nesting this school year. DW and I definitely did more entertainment things than we did in the past along with dinners out either alone or with friends. Mostly weekend things. My door to door for work is 10.75 hours. I started going to the gym and that door to door is 1.75 hours. So with dinner I don’t have a ton of downtime on weeknights.
I have watched from a far my retired mom age in place since my Dad passed 6 years ago. Inactivity is just terrible. I am 10-12 years away from retiring, but I vow to keep active.
8 Likes
@Youdon_tsay - thanks for that podcast, what a kicky lady. I am really interested in aging and mindset based on what we have seen play out with different personalities in our families.
I’m pretty torn! I had a big career but I took a step back when I changed jobs two years ago. But now I have less stress. I’ve been spending a lot of time enjoying my home and super simple things like my cozy blanket collection, coffee on my patio, music…but then I think - I should plan a big trip! I should doing more! I should be more social!
A good friend’s marriage blew up four years ago, they divorced, it was terrible and dramatic. But now that friend is a new, zesty, happy person. Not faking. The difference is incredible. I told them this weekend - I need to figure out how I get to the next level of me without getting divorced. My husband is a very supportive guy - I have a lot of freedom to pursue anything.
But I just don’t know what that next direction is! I feel a little lost without my big job and my only child went off to college last year. So lots of transitions here.
12 Likes
I just spent the weekend with a group of ladies I have known for 30 years (since my daughter was born). They are all struggling with what next. Some are really embracing travel, others are embracing spending time with their adult kids.
The career thing did come up. One friend says her husband keeps telling her about much bigger jobs for her to apply to, and instead she wants to get a much smaller job (never stopped working and is tired of it now).
6 Likes
Something new doesn’t have to be something “big”. I think giving yourself permission to try something new without expectations can also give motivation to try the next thing “new” after that!
Planning a trip is sort of an easy way to start if you have the funds. Again, doesn’t have to be a trip around the world - maybe you just explore a new city within a couple of hours of your home. Start with something doable - trip or otherwise.
I can be a homebody and as said above, love my home, love my routine at home - but the thing to remember is that when you go try that new “thing” - when you get back home, that routine, music, blanket collection - it’s all still there to enjoy!
12 Likes
I don’t think of it as contracting. I think of it as pacing myself, lol. That definitely applies to work life. I am content to glide along and not kill myself in the short term in my 50s, while planning to work to 65-67. On the social side, we are trying to practice saying “yes” to opportunities and invites we might previously had declined when too busy (or tired) with the kids. A couple of years ago two high school friends I’d socialized with in a group but never with just them had an extra ticket to see Smashing Pumpkins. I could care less about Smashing Pumpkins, but I said yes and had a great time. We still laugh about that night. Just yesterday my wife and I went to see a local summer theatre production of Sweeney Todd that I’d talked her into. It was awesome. During the performance some mutual friends who lived a few blocks from the venue texted us and invited us to come over to sit by the pool, bbq and watch a soccer game. We were not dressed for it and it was a Sunday night, but we said yes and had fun. Yes is my new mantra!
13 Likes
Bromfield2, I also joined a fiction writing group at my local library this year. I write a lot in my job, but not creatively. I’d not written any fiction since I was a child. But I am having a blast writing short stories and then reading, or really performing, them in the group. It turns out my writing style lends itself to acting, and my closet performer is coming out as I read my stories. I think I like reading them to the group as much or more than writing them.
8 Likes
Another thought that is related to this thread and a challenge to think about. (hope it’s not distracting from the thread - but the thread seems to have quieted down)
Think about this. How are you currently or recently “spreading your wings”? I’ve always hated that term “empty nest” - but this is the sort of twisting that thought - your nest is or will become more empty - how are you spreading YOUR wings?
- I’ve joined a local board of a non-profit. I’m not fully comfortable or confident of this! But I talked with the ED who approached me about it and they think I’m a good fit. So I’m meeting new people, learning new things, expanding my knowledge of this part of my community. It makes me feel energized and contributing.
10 Likes
I like the idea of spreading my wings a little more now that I’ve been retired for a couple of years, but I don’t like the idea of committing to something on a regular schedule. Right now I have what tends to be a “regular activity” for 6 days of the week. Most days it’s just for a couple of hours, but I don’t want both a morning and afternoon activity I’m committed to, for example. I also want the ability to travel when I want, and not feel like I’m letting someone down when I am gone for a couple of weeks.
But, I have noticed just in the last couple of days I’m spending more time looking at my computer screen than I’d like. I don’t want to “waste the days away.” Balance can be difficult to achieve.
8 Likes
I am doing pretty well creating a big or at least bigger life, and it is different than I expected. New job teaching at a local U and a juicy volunteer commitment at a local museum keep me busy and learning new skills. I thought I would be traveling and visiting grands after sixty. But no grands, not yet, so I can do other things.
I am slower than I used to be and my memory is not as vigorous, but I am not afraid of making mistakes or looking foolish.
My biggest issue is staying in sync with H, the man I thought would never retire, who is almost retired. He enjoys my uni colleagues but dislikes my schedule. I am trying to get him more involved in the community, more volunteering for him.
I feel very lucky to be so stimulated and engaged. My advice? Say yes. If someone asks you to pilot this new class or join this board or give this talk, do it.
15 Likes
We had a “You Wrote It, You Read It” group. Very fun. Sounds perfect for you!
People bring light appetizer type foods and whatever they’d like to drink. The entertainment is of course people reading (performing) what they’ve written be it an essay, poem, story. Or they can choose to read something already published that they love OR just sit, enjoy and encourage others. Open to all – friends invite friends to participate or can even be made public with the right venue. Great way to meet new people with similar interests and always something to chat about.
5 Likes
Putting in a plug (pun intended) for electic bikes as a great way to expand horizons at this stage of life. We got one for our HS kid during the pandemic since he didn’t drive yet, and he had so much fun exploring our city with it that we immediately got additional bikes so that we could all enjoy it. Years later – we still do. You can pedal as much or as little as you like, and the range can be up to 60-plus miles, depending on the battery packs you choose (at least for the brand we purchased).
Truly, I can’t recommend them highly enough!
Here’s the brand we chose. They start at $799 and go up, I think. They are currently on sale.
There are of course lots of other brands!
6 Likes
My husband had gotten out of the habit of cycling (has an old road bike and a mountain bike). But he really has been using his new ebike a lot! Mostly he relies on his own pedal power, but assist is nice for some hills. Or if there is wind resistance and/or impending bad weather.
3 Likes
We live at the top of a very hilly street and basically just dropped our regular biking as we got older because it just wasn’t worth it. The e-bikes changed everything!
6 Likes
We just bought a used Day6 bicycle for DH on Facebook marketplace, and I have one lined up to buy for me! They are semi-recumbent, so you sit upright, with nice backrest and support and your legs a bit in front of you. If you stop suddenly, you can put your feet both flat on the ground, and there is absolutely no weight on your hands at all. Very adjustable handlebars and back support and really good for people with knee and back problems. I plan to get the local bike shop to add electric assist.
4 Likes
I think e-bikes can be great for people (I’ve never tried them). But sometimes people get a little too…enthused? about the speed. My town has a major regional bike/ walking trail within it (runs more than 250 miles through large metropolitan areas, mountain valleys, farmland, small towns). There’s a speed limit but often cyclists do to walkers on the trail what cyclists complain that cars do to them on the road! I like to walk on the trail (it runs 1/2 mile from my house). I’ve felt my life threatened numerous times by e-bikes whizzing joyfully past, inches away from me, seemingly without a care in the world. I stay to the far edge of the trail and give them lots of space. I have a hearing loss and even with hearing aids I cannot always hear them approaching and I fear that making the mistake of stepping out even a couple of inches toward the middle could cost me my life someday. There is no one policing the trail.
13 Likes
This topic was automatically closed 180 days after the last reply. If you’d like to reply, please flag the thread for moderator attention.