<p>I think we’re still a hundred years away from having women judged a certain way just because they are women. Society changes, but it changes r e a l l y s l o w l y .</p>
<p>I have shared the article with my girls. I think there is so much truth in it. It reminded me of the time I was speaking to a female colleague about 2 years ago after she had her review. She was shaken up and I asked if she was OK. She told me that on her “core competencies” she received glowing reviews, but that she also received comments about her personal appearance. I was floored, but probably shouldn’t have been.</p>
<p>men also receive comments about their personal appearance… I was told it was good that I cut my hair (to a 2) because higher ups would probably have a better opinion of me (my hair was not anywhere close to even shoulder length).</p>
<p>Excellent article. In my field – law – these issues start to show up most acutely later in women’s careers. Things may seem great to young associates who are playing a support role to powerful men. The criticism really ramps up when more senior women expect equal treatment and recognition.</p>
<p>Here’s my advice to young women seeking a career in biglaw – no matter how great the place seems as a summer or first-year associate, pay attention to what is being said about the more senior women. If all the professional women over 40 or 45 are said to be “crazy,” then it is NOT a good place for women to work. </p>
<p>In fact, I want to start a campaign to ban the word “crazy” when referring to professional women of a certain age. If you haven’t noticed this, start listening for it. Can’t tell you how many times a day I hear someone say, “She’s crazy!” about a competent professional woman.</p>
<p>@soccerguy315 How old were you when you were told that?</p>
<p>I think all of us can think of a number of disheveled men (some with awful rugs) that no one in mgmt ever dared to say anything to. </p>
<p>I do think women get judged more sharply for their appearance in the workplace because (dare I say it) men in power still like to have good-looking women around to brighten their day. Several years ago, when a friend of mine was worried that she would get laid-off at her male-dominated job, her H told her, “you won’t get laid off…you’re eye candy around there.” (she is very pretty, excellent figure…and of course intelligent.) So far, no lay-off. Do we think her good-looks have helped her keep her job when other equally qualified people have lost theirs? Yes, probably. lol</p>
<p>True story from a top 10 medical school, mid 1980s. Direct quote from the evaluation of a female 3rd-year med student for one of her 6-week clinical surgery rotations (written by the chief or asst chief of surgery at one of the 2main hospitals affiliated w the med school): “X is fine in form and body. Truly a credit to her gender.”</p>
<p>For some bizarre reason, at this med school student evaluations were never sent directly to students. Rather, the student had to go to the Dean of Students’ office, whereupon the Dean read the evaluation out loud to the student. Story had it that when the Dean read this eval to the young woman, he just about dropped his teeth! (And rightfully so. SHEESH!)</p>
<p>There’s a guy in my prev office who worked out at the gym at lunchtime, then came back to his desk and doused himself w Old Spice to cover up his sweaty stink. He was always hot (overheated hot, not sexy hot) so he had an electric fan blowing constantly w his wretched sweaty Old Spice aimed in my direction. My spouse & kids would tease me about my Old Spice daily torment.</p>
<p>The situation was making me crazy, so I sent out a company-wide email politely requesting that people please tone down the personal fragrance in the office bcs it bothered my allergies. Funny thing was that all these embarassed women came out of the woodwork to me to apologize profusely for wearing too much perfume. But the stinky offender never got the hint.</p>
<p>@mom2collegekids I was 28 I think? Where I work is roughly 1/3 military and 1/3 former military… so apparently anything longer than a 3 on a male’s head is highly unprofessional hair.</p>
<p>I can only say that when I am down about what seems to be an unrealistic review I will think of this article. Thanks for posting it. I sent it to both D’s. This was spot on.</p>
<p>"I do think women get judged more sharply for their appearance in the workplace "</p>
<p>Here’s thing about that. In general men in Business wear dress pants, shirt & a tie. It’s really hard to mess that up.
Women have a ton of options however they don’t all pick appropriate business attire… some times they are obvious dress code violations like flip flops in the summer. Other times it’s more vague like that dress/shirt is a little too short or too low cut.</p>
<p>On the hair issue. DH was warned his hair was too grey Can’t look old … so he uses Grecian formula…</p>
<p>While I am in agreement that women are still evaluated differently, I have worked with women who I thought were “abrasive,” “judgmental” or “strident,” and it was not pleasant and others did not like interacting with them, so I don’t know why mentioning those characteristics during an evaluation is a problem. (I am a woman) I guess the issue is that the same number of men must have those characteristics, yet are getting a pass? I don’t know if that is true or not. The men I disliked working with most were the ones with huge egos.</p>
<p>It does depend on the level of formality / casualness in the workplace (assuming the absence of uniforms or functional clothing requirements). But men tend not to vary too much in how they dress; just pick a point on the dressiness scale:</p>
<p>suit, dress shirt, tie
dress shirt (no tie), dress trousers
button down shirt, khakis
polo / golf / tennis shirt, khakis or jeans
T-shirt, jeans</p>
<p>Obviously, workplaces may have a minimum dressiness level, so you might see (for example) only the two dressiest levels listed above at one workplace (but maybe more of them at others).</p>
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<p>Yes, women tend to be more creative and varied in how they dress.</p>
<p>Some female bosses are worse than male bosses. My sister was criticized the way she dressed by a female boss. She was a b… that rhymes with itch. When that female boss went on vacation, her bosses realized they didn’t need her and she was replaced when she came back.
About deodorant and perfume, I wish some people would tone down on that. I’m very sensitive to smell. Anything too strong makes me suffocate especially in an elevator. Really perfume is not for the whole building to smell it but for people who get close to you.
But back to workplace criticism, I’ve told one of my kids that don’t take it too personally. Remain cool at all time. If you don’t like the criticism, go look for another job.</p>
<p>Perhaps the heavy perfume users have gradually built up a tolerance to the perfume, so what seems like a weak perfume smell to them can be smelled by others across the room (or other end of a bus or subway car, etc.). Heavy smokers who bring ashtray smell embedded in their clothes with them are probably similar.</p>