Critique of my Speech (Please)

Pre-College Topics High School Cafe
1

<p>This isn’t a final draft - by any stretch of the imagination. But I was hoping I could get some suggestions as I continue editing. Mainly, I think it’s a little too serious and a tad boring. So if anyone has some ideas for some jokes to throw in, that would be great.</p>

<pre><code> It is a great honor to stand here representing the Class of 2010. But this is not my honor. This is our honor. Each of us, graduating today, did not get here alone, and this day is a celebration of our collaborative achievement. Think back to that time in math or science class when you didn’t quite understand a concept but your friends were there to help explain it to you. Or when you had a study group where you all helped each other memorize dates and names for a history final or a hundred words for a vocab midterm. We have motivated each other and supported each other since the beginning and we will graduate together to join our generation.

Decades ago, those who fought in World War I were labeled “The Lost Generation”. They went directly into the war and were never able to integrate back into society when it was over. Those who came of age during the Great Depression and then fought in the Second World War were called “The Greatest Generation”. As Tom Brokaw once wrote, “The nation turned to its young to carry the heaviest burden, to fight in enemy territory and to keep the home front secure and productive. These young men and women were eager for the assignment. They understood what was required of them, and they willingly volunteered for their duty.” They led the nation back to its former superpower status. The children of the following generation, “the Silent Generation”, were small in number and were too young to be war heroes. They grew up during a cultural shift and spent their lives struggling with conflicting morals and ideas, never quite able to make their mark on the world.

We, the Class of 2010, are a part of, what is currently called “Generation Y”. Why, you ask? Because we have yet to prove our worth. Given that we are just graduating today, that is to be expected, but that also means that our time has come. From the moment we turn our tassels, the rest of the world will be watching us. The older generations will be watching us, analyzing us, and trying to coin our generation’s title. Will we be another soundless group, or will we make noise? Will we be great or will we be insignificant, not even worth a name?

The nation, and the world, could really use another “Greatest Generation”. Our forbearers have left us with a bit of a mess to clean up. We are about to emerge in the midst of two wars, an economic crisis, and environmental issues up the wazoo, and by the way, both the state and nation are essentially bankrupt. Though we did not have a hand in creating these problems, the world is looking to us to solve them. It isn’t fair, and it certainly won’t be easy. But we have no choice. We must lead the world into a brighter future. Although, not too bright, as hopefully we will find a way to stop global warming.

If we have any hope of making generational history, we must be able to work together. You may be struck with a brilliant idea one day down the line, or maybe you already have it fostering in your mind. But either way, I encourage you not to keep it to yourself. Share it with friends or family members or coworkers, or even with everyone you know. Because one of those people might have a way to make it better or make it happen. No matter how awesome the thought may be, you will never be able to bring it to life completely on your own. No one should walk alone. You could swim an ocean by yourself, but what happens if you start to tire?

 Listen to your peers. Let them add to your dream and nurture it so that it becomes something wonderful. A friend, or a family member, or a coworker, or even a complete stranger could be that one person who knows just how to fill in the gaps and give it wings. Only through collaboration can we become a splendid generation. For a generation is not the success of one individual. A generation is, by definition, a band of brothers.

</code></pre>

<p>We graduate today as a class. A class that worked hard together and will continue to work together as we move into the next stages of our lives. The years ahead might be bleak, but I have no doubt that we will use our knowledge, our tenacity, and each other to solve any problem the world throws at us. Only a few generations have been granted the role of defending the future. The last time high school graduates were in a position such as ours, they rose to the task and defined themselves as “great”. By why stop at great? We, the class of 2010, will be extraordinary. </p>

<pre><code> I wish you all the best of luck in everything you do. But I doubt any of you will need it.
</code></pre>

<p>Thank you, and congratulations.</p>

2

<p>Please make it humorous. The last thing horny teenagers want to listen to is a long wordy speech.</p>

3

<p>“We, the Class of 2010, are a part of, what is currently called “Generation Y”. Why, you ask?”</p>

<p>That might sound awkward when you read it.</p>

<p>The last paragraph? Take out the “i doubt you will need it,” it sounds cocky.</p>

<p>And Anthony, the only thing worse than boring is trying, and failing to be funny. So if he wants to take the safe, boring forgettable route, he is welcome to. (yes, that was a dare timtam)</p>

4

<p>That’s my issue with it too. But I’m not a very humorous person, so I could use some pointers.</p>

5

<p>Well graduation seems like a tense and serious event (even though guys with 2.0 GPA’s walk the stage) so providing comic relief should be easy. Anything will do, rap, gestures, implied sexual references, the cheesy stuff you know.</p>

<p>If you are valedictorian, congrats on your hard work</p>

6

<p>I’ve made a few changes, but I still haven’t solved the humor issue. Turns out I’m really not an amusing person. So if you have suggestions about possible humorous additions, that would be fabulous. If not, then please just critique it for what it is. Also, the two sections that are in parentheses are two different possibilities. I would use one or the other so please let me know which you like better. Thanks!</p>

<p>It is a great honor to stand here representing the Class of 2010. But this is not my honor. This is our honor. No one, graduating today, got here alone, and this day is a celebration of our collective achievement. Think back to that time in math or science class when you didn’t quite understand a concept, but your friends were there to help explain it to you. Or when you had a study group where you all helped each other memorize dates and names for a history final or a hundred words for a vocab midterm. We grew up together, we studied together, motivated and supported each other. We’ve been together since the beginning and together we will graduate and create a generation. </p>

<pre><code>Almost a hundred years ago, those who fought in World War I were labeled “The Lost Generation”. They went directly from high school into the war and they were never able to find their place in society when it was over. Those who came of age during the Great Depression and then fought in the Second World War were called “The Greatest Generation”. As Tom Brokaw said, “The nation turned to its young to carry the heaviest burden, to fight in enemy territory and to keep the home front secure and productive.” That Greatest Generation transformed the nation into superpower status. The generation that followed, “the Silent Generation”, was small in number and grew up in the shadow of a cultural shift. They spent their lives struggling with conflicting morals and ideas, and were never quite able to make their mark on the world.

We, the Class of 2010, are a part of, what is currently called “Generation Y”. Why, you ask? Because we have yet to prove our worth. Given that we are graduating today, that is to be expected, but that also means that our time has come. From the moment we turn our tassels, the rest of the world will be waiting to see who, and what we are. The older generations will be watching us, analyzing us, and trying to coin our generation’s title. Will we be another soundless group, or will we make noise? Will we be great or will we be insignificant, not even worthy of a name?

The nation, and the world, could really use another “Greatest Generation”. Our forbearers have left us with something of a mess. We are about to emerge in the midst of two wars, an economic crisis, and environmental issues every way you look - and by the way, both the state and nation are essentially bankrupt. Though we did not have a hand in creating these problems, the world is looking to us to solve them. It isn’t fair, and it certainly won’t be easy. But we have no choice. (We must lead the world into a brighter future. Although, not too bright, as hopefully we will find a way to stop global warming.) (All we have to do is fix the economy, put Americans back to work, clean up the Gulf, stop terrorism, end the wars, spread justice and democracy, and stop global warming. Oh, and while we’re at it, we might as well cure cancer.)

A little daunting don’t you think? But if there’s one thing we learned here, it’s just how much we can do, and who we are together. If we have any hope of making generational history, we must be able to work together. You may be struck with a brilliant idea one day down the line, or maybe you already have it fostering in your mind. But either way, don’t keep it to yourself. Share it with friends or family or coworkers, or even with everyone you know. Because one of those people might have a way to make it better or make it happen. No matter how awesome the thought may be, you will never be able to bring an idea to life completely on your own. No one should walk alone. You could swim an ocean by yourself, but what happens if you start to tire?
</code></pre>

<p>Listen to your friends. Let them add to your dreams. A friend, a family member, a coworker, or even a complete stranger could be that one person who knows just how to fill in the gaps and give your dream wings. Only together can we become a splendid generation. For a generation is not the success of one individual. A generation is, by definition, a band of brothers. </p>

<p>We graduate today as a class. A class that worked hard together and will continue to be together as we move on with our lives. Some years ahead might be bleak and some may be glorious, but I have no doubt that we will use our knowledge, our tenacity, and each other to solve any and all problems the world throws at us. </p>

<p>Only a few generations have been granted the role of defending the future. The last time high school graduates were in a position such as ours, they rose to the task and defined themselves as “great”. By why stop at great? We, the class of 2010, will be extraordinary.</p>

<p>I wish you all the best of luck in everything you do. Thank you, and congratulations.</p>

7

<p>that’s good. very meaningful.
the val at my school this year based his speech around the hangover and the wolfpack speech. it was a very ingenious piece, and he’s pretty good looking.</p>

8

<p>I think you need some kind of transition between paragraph 1 and 2 it goes from graduation to WW1
yes you mention generation but I think it needs more its kinda a big jump</p>

9

<p>thanks gonna steal this, then make it good, and use it</p>