<p>Even going through wedding planning right now, I will never, ever understand why people spend so much on weddings- especially when they can’t afford it. </p>
<p>I understand the pressure. When I set a budget of $500 for my dress, looking online convinced me that I was crazy and there was no way I would find something for that price. Today, I found a beautiful dress that I fell in love with- only $250 (I liked it WAY before I knew the price- we were just there for looking). </p>
<p>Everyone feels the need to make demands on you for what you should do with YOUR wedding and it’s sad and stressful. Luckily, I’m a tough enough person to tell other people to screw off (in nicer words) when they start “making demands” but many, especially young people that get the pressure from their families, can’t do that. </p>
<p>Not to mention that Romani CCCF (CC Crowdfunding) would have worked. And, no, it would not have been in hopes she’d get away from CC, but because she has made plenty of virtual friends. </p>
<p>Congrats on the wedding and congrats on keeping it all in a proper perspective. I happen to think that weddings are often a colossal wasteful spending as I have been in “cheap” wedding that were amazing and “expensive” that were comedies of errors. My own plans include having it at a white beach overseas with very few people who will stay a longer time. Obviously, as we know, people of my gender really do not have the final say! </p>
<p>Unfortunately, all too often, people of your gender often have NO say, which, even as the mother of daughters, annoys me to no end. So often we hear brides say “This is MY DAY” over and over. The wedding as a bride’s “Princess for a day” with little thought that it’s not a beauty pageant of one, but the joining of TWO lives, has seemingly taken over in many places. Hopefully I’ve raised my girls to not even consider that notion as an option to reject. If I’ve failed, they will be hearing from me.</p>
<p>Thank you both. I wouldn’t dream of asking people to contribute to my wedding via crowdfunding. With that said, I am essentially asking for money for my honeymoon for gifts. I know some people think it’s tacky (and that’s fine, if they do, they don’t have to contribute) but I know everyone we’re inviting (except his extended family) very well and not a single person will take offense. The vast majority of people in my family live together long before getting married and I’m no exception. I don’t need more STUFF especially since I plan on moving soon after. </p>
<p>It is very sad when grooms are pretty much pushed aside. Though in my case, I’ve BEGGED my fiance to get involved and all he says is “whatever you want dear, I just want you to be happy.” Which I appreciate but at the same time, it’s driving me up a wall. Luckily, I have a mother (I’m her only daughter) and a sister (who is probably never getting married) who have taken the reigns (with my blessing). </p>
<p>As long as I have good food and good people (in that order ), I’ll be happy. Everything else is just details. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t do it, but people who have no shame do shameless things. :shrug:</p>
<p>I guess I’m not really shocked or anything. Do I find it tasteful? Nope. Do I find it pretty darn impressive if someone got their extravagant wedding fully funded? Yes, somewhat. Bravo! Best wishes to them that they’ll have numerous donors for their child’s first birthday party, which I’m sure they’ll turn to the public for funding. </p>
<p>I do like that you are able to create thee projects that people are able to fund. Lots of great products. Old shows are coming back! Bands are getting reunited! People are able to get much needed surgeries and medicine. There’s a positive side. </p>
<p>Well it’s not any worse than the guy who raised all that money to make $10 worth of potato salad.
Thats ridiculous.
I doubt he even has a decent recipe.</p>
<p>romani, years ago two people I knew got married. They did not have much money, and they were both circa 40, so household stuff was not needed. (Their reception was a DIY affair at our church, and friends of theirs helped significantly. It was lovely.</p>
<p>Anyway, a mutual friend was talking with them about their honeymoon plans, and they were talking about a camping trip. They admitted that their dream was a trip to Italy, but they couldn’t afford it. She came up withthe idea of suggesting that those who wished to give them a gift give money that she would put together into a honeymoon fund for them, and that’s what we did. They were delighted and overwhelmed, and enjoyed the trip of their dreams (still quite modestly, I might add). I do NOT come from a money gift tradition, so this was quite bold and innovative. I loved being able to make it happen for them.</p>
<p>Someone is crowdfunding her tuition to Vanderbilt right now. She has an unusual situation: when she was three weeks into her freshman year, her mother committed suicide, and that changed her financial aid situation. </p>
<p>Someone else crowdfunded her tuition to Vanderbilt because she wanted to go to their music school and it costs a lot of money to go to music school at Vanderbilt.</p>
<p>If I were moved to support someone at chess camp, I’d give the money to the camp. Such organizations often have scholarships, and they are probably better at discerning the need of strangers than I am.</p>
<p>My aunt told me that when she got married 59 years ago (weddings much cheaper then), her dad forced her to have a Money Dance (she was humiliated). People pinned money on her dress to dance with her…thinking that the money was for the young couple. No. after the wedding, the dad took the money to pay for the wedding. (he had his own money, but was notoriously cheap).</p>
<p>They do the Money Dance at some Polish weddings I’ve been to - but they put the money in a basket. All in good fun and I don’t think the couple really “cashes in”. At most, it will pay for a dinner on the honeymoon. </p>
<p>Consolation, In some congregations, people throw community sponsored weddings, too. That kind of thing and what you did for the young couple are different, because people are giving entirely on their own initiative. </p>
<p>^^^We went to a Filipino wedding years ago that was “sponsored” by friends of the couples’ parents, as is the custom with them. It was nice but not extravagant and everyone had a great time.
ETA: I was the only daughter and I had a big (by 1989 West Virginia standards) church wedding , which my parents could afford. My brother and his wife got married at the courthouse and we all went out to lunch at a nice buffet, for which the bride’s father paid. As far as the law is concerned, we’re both equally as married. People get too caught up in the party aspect and forget what it’s all supposed to be about. </p>
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), I’ll be happy. Everything else is just details. </p>