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<p>Begging is resourceful? To me, it’s more degrading than resourceful.</p>
<p>^^^^No one is upset. </p>
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<p>xiggi is in his 20’s I believe. </p>
<p>So, I don’t think tacky is really an age thing. There are lots of tacky people over 40.</p>
<p>No, the fact that they realized rather than not getting their expensive unobtainable wedding, they could just beg people, is what is resourceful. </p>
<p>“Dear Guest,”</p>
<p>“I would like the honor of your presence at my birthday party. It means a lot to have you share in my special day. I thought about having a get together at my house with some BBQ and a nice cake, but on reflection, I’d rather have a big party with open bar and a band at a nice hotel. As you know, I’m unemployed and can’t afford a big birthday party. But since you were probably going to get me a gift anyway, you now have the opportunity to donate instead. You may got to GoFundMe to donate. If I don’t get enough donations, I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to have the party.”</p>
<p>“Please note that this is entirely voluntary and no hard feelings should you decide not to donate. And of course, I will not be keeping score on who donates or who doesn’t, even though those who donate will be acknowledged in an online tally. If you choose not to donate, you still have the option of getting me a present I probably won’t like or need. But of course, that’s totally up to you. Even though I am 30 and don’t really need anything and I don’t like your taste anyway, there is no need to feel pressured. At all.”</p>
<p>Birthday party invitations of the future. Those who find this distasteful are surely old and cranky.</p>
<p>:D</p>
<p>Well, there used to be a “resourceful” bum panhandling in the little town in my neck of the woods. I saw him throwing a food item and cursing at the poor person who gave him said food item - he wanted cash, not food. Someone did a little dirt digging on him, and apparently he was not homeless at all - he owned a place and panhandling was his “job”. He collected pretty decent amount per month, and I bet he did not file a tax return. Resourceful? Legal? Ethical? </p>
<p>^^^The big difference is he mislead people - these people are being 100% straightforward and honest.</p>
<p>Hey, resourcefulness can be bad or good. I’ve spoken on what I think about this twice now.</p>
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It is what it is. </p>
<p>I don’t have any feelings about this one way or the other. I do know that a lot of people around here feel that gifts should “cover the plate” for events, something I never considered when gift giving, but, yes, some people go by that rule. </p>
<p>I’ve yet to have to be invited to a Gofundme wedding. </p>
<p>I sort of think all the “parties” (Arbonne, Silpata, Lia Sophia…all the popular pyramid schemes) that involve financial transactions are crowdfunding too. If I am invited to an event where I am expected (or gently encouraged) to buy something, I don’t go.</p>
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How can you be so sure that the gofundME beggars are being 100% honest? </p>
<p>Nrdsb4, love the birthday party invitation of the future!</p>
<p>Resourceful would be finding a way to have a nice wedding with the people they want to have there by, you know, being RESOURCEFUL. For example, find a venue that is not wildly expensive but can accommodate your crowd, such as a park or a church hall. Instead of buying flower arrangements from a florist, buy in bulk and arrange them yourselves with the help of friends and family… Be creative with food: choose a theme where you can get great bulk dishes, such as BBQ, and/or make the food yourselves. Go on Craigs List and hire some people by the hour to help you do the food prep: chopping, stirring, etc. Hire others to do setup/waiting/cleanup. Rent a small refrigerated truck if necessary to store stuff. Rent what you need, but choose a theme that makes it less expensive. Tons of stuff is available on the internet. You can buy fabulous ribbon wholesale for a fraction of the price of any store. Make or get a friend to make or order a simple 2-tier wedding cake with no decoration, and decorate it with flowers and ribbon. Surround it with other desserts. Forego the fancy photographer. Put disposables around for people to take candids with. Ask a friend who likes to take photos to take a very short list of composed shots just to make sure you have them. Ask friends to take phone shots and send them to you.</p>
<p>I could go on and on. I bet that they could throw a great wedding for 105 people for under $10k, which is less than half of what they are asking for.</p>
<p>Or you can demean yourself and beg. Yuck.</p>
<p>Acollegestudent–given that so many couples live together before they marry, it seems to me that if you don’t want stuff, you don’t register for anything. A little note in the wedding invitation or on the wedding website (which most couples have) explaining that you don’t need anything other than the gift of your guest’s company would certainly be appropriate. There will still be people who want to give something. I’m willing to bet that those folks will give money. I have no problem giving money–it’s really easy. What I don’t like is someone telling me what to give, which is why I don’t like the honeymoon funding website. The son of one of my closest friends had a honeymoon website. I decided to send a check and a card and not pick something from the website. My action didn’t seem to cause a problem–they cashed my check and they went on a honeymoon.</p>
<p>Maybe times are changing and I’m an old geezer who’s not up with the times, but I’m not stingy and I have no problem with monetary gifts. I just don’t care for the practice of asking guests to pay for one’s wedding or honeymoon. </p>
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OR get everything that you wanted - venue, flowers, dress, catering, gifts, music, and decorations - by turning towards the public is who is ever so generous. You know, being RESOURCEFUL. </p>
<p>By those lights, prostituting oneself is also resourceful.</p>
<p>If the general public wants to fund the wedding of two strangers, that’s fine. It doesn’t make their asking for money for this purpose any less tacky. </p>
<p>Consolation, the process you describe sounds painful. Now, I am not saying get funding for your wedding instead - I would probably just go with a lot fewer guests. </p>
<p>I am sure your method would work for some (maybe even a lot of) people - I just wouldn’t fault a couple for not wanting to plan a wedding that way - very labor-intensive (can’t imagine doing it with two people working stressful, long-hour jobs), requires that you have a lot of friends/family nearby and make demands on their time (which I don’t find ideal at all - in fact, I think asking for money can be kinder/less demanding than asking for time), and would just be a frustrating process for someone who is not a DIY type of person.</p>
<p>P.S. I do a lot of “creative thinking” to afford travel - finding deals, buying plane tickets at just the right time, staying in hostels, so I am not at all opposed to finding creative solutions. But weddings are stressful enough. I would not want the added stress of a wedding like you describe.</p>
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More power to that person. Make yo’ money, girl! </p>
<p>Well, since I did a lot of that for my own wedding, I can testify that it can be done. And we were both working full time in another state. </p>
<p>But yes, of course, it involves personal effort. Do note that it would be quite possible to use some of those strategies to drastically cut the cost of the wedding without ever actually picking up a knife or a pair of scissors, nothing but the phone.</p>
<p>^^^I am sure it can be, Consolation, and I am sure it turned out amazing - it’s just really not for everyone.</p>