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<p>I am a college student paying for college entirely on my own (meaning, no help from parents). In fact I give THEM money because I am the only one who can have a job right now. I work three jobs to make it happen. Spoiled I am not. So don’t “suspect” anything because NOTHING anyone has said on here has even remotely pointed to that conclusion.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your information. I will share that I suspect some of you “spoil” your offspring and fail to let them enjoy and learn from the fruits of their decisions. In fact there is a whole generation that seems to have an overinflated sense of entitlement.</p>
<p>Lol what? Entitlement? My parents refuse to pay over a select amount for college tuitions. Everything I’ve done was my own volition. I could choose to get a 40 000 dolalr scholarship to a school near me and pay nothing, but I’m working as hard as I can so that I can come to America and hopefully get financial aid. Don’t give me that “entitlement” bs.</p>
<p>CSU does not require the Profile. Very few colleges do actually. Usually (but not always) they are private colleges. Most selective privates that College Confidential kids are interested in require the Profile, but in the grand scheme of colleges there are very few that do. Some privates that don’t require the Profile do have additional financial aid forms of their own, though.</p>
<p>I think your remark about spoiling students is irrelevant. The people who are most harshly accusing you (and I am not one of them) have a very different perspective and very different values than you. That does not mean they are coddling or spoiling or anything of the sort. No point in going there.</p>
<p>I’m with you on the pedophile priests and the church’s lame and even criminal non-repsonse to the problem, btw. It makes me sick. On the other hand, I wouldn’t extend that so far as to rule out any and all Catholic colleges… but I can see how you get to that point. Plus, none of us know your particular personal experience with the church, and we don’t need to know. The point is, as someone already said, that you’re not going to change your mind. There is a h-u-g-e number of colleges between CSUs and private Catholic colleges. Surely your son can widen his net quite a bit, even if it’s not so wide as college in Scotland.</p>
<p>By the way, are you talking about Saint Anselm?</p>
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<p>Sorry, this just hit me. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? The people on here don’t let their children enjoy their decisions?! YOU are the one who wants to select a college for your son. You are NOT letting HIM make his OWN decision.</p>
<p>Perhaps OP or someone very close to OP was molested by a Catholic priest? Even if the issue is not quite that personal for you, why not try TALKING TO your son? Rather than imposing your will, maybe you could try a discussion with your kid. I don’t think it’s “spoiling” an almost-adult child to share the reasons for your passionate dislike of the Catholic church. Your son might even surprise you … he might even understand … and he might even CHOOSE to look elsewhere for college. Then again, he might not. But at least you will have treated him like a person with a brain.</p>
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<p>Not true. He is just refusing to pay for it if he doesn’t agree with it.</p>
<p>As parents, we make decisions like this all the time. It can be as trivial as refusing to pay $100+ so my kid can buy a pair of designer jeans. It can be refusing to pay my kid’s car insurance because they didn’t do anything to earn part of it, even though this causes me a lot of inconvenience. It can even be refusing to pay for a college I don’t think they should go to. Just because they are your kid, does not entitle them to a blank check to do what they want.</p>
<p>The OP’s son can make whatever decision he wants - he is 18 after all. He will just have to deal with the consequences.</p>
<p>To the OP - you may actually be <em>increasing</em> your son’s chances of getting FA by refusing to fill out the CSS PROFILE form, because they can request a non-custodial parent waiver. If this is granted, then only your ex’s income will be considered and his chances of getting enough aid will be better.</p>
<p>By filling out and submitting the form, you will minimize the aid he gets, while not being under any legal obligation to pay what the school says you should. Think about it…</p>
<p>'Not true. He is just refusing to pay for it if he doesn’t agree with it.
False. HE IS REFUSING TO FILL OUT A FORM THAT MAY ALLOW HIS SON TO RECEIVE FA, because the college is Catholic. He can STILL refuse to pay anything towards his son’s education at that college, because of his beliefs about the RCC, which is his prerogative, but he is sabotaging his son’s chances of receiving any FA that his son might otherwise be entitled to, because of who the $$ would be coming from…</p>
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That is highly commendable and very adult. I too paid for 100% of my education out of my own pocket. Out of my own earnings actually since I was offered no loans for education. At this rate my boy may get the same opportunity as you have to rise to the challenge.</p>
<p>He probably won’t get that opportunity in fact though because he will concede on this.
At the end of the day even if he completed the first year it is pretty certain he could not afford to go on to the second year at Anselm’s. As a barely 80%ile of SAT takers person, he will not win any “outstanding scholar” awards.</p>
<p>Again thank you all for your input, I now have what I need to know.</p>
<p>I am doing it without my parents because they CAN’T pay not because they WON’T pay. And if they didn’t fill out FAFSA then I wouldn’t have gotten any aid and I’d be somewhere I hated. My parents disapproved of where I went but since they aren’t contributing, it wasn’t their choice. But they wouldn’t think of choosing where I went because they disagreed with the college or who ran it. As I said before, they support me and my decisions and don’t use financial aid forms to control where I spend four years of my life.</p>
<p>Your son doesn’t need you to fill out his CSS profile. He could estimate on a lot of the fields and could probably get pretty close, if he’s smart. The information won’t completely match the IRS forms. But if CSS (or the school) had access to those records, then why would we need to fill them out manually?</p>
<p>There’s even a “Special Circumstances” box where he could explain why he had to estimate on everything. Who knows how successful he might be, though?</p>
<p>Why is your son so dead-set on this school? That’s just weird.</p>
<p>For what it’s worth, the Vatican is frustrated by US Catholic universities because they cannot control them (they don’t think they are Catholic enough)–it’s the spirit of democracy this country has that some Europeans cannot understand, with their history of monarchies.</p>
<p>With very few exceptions, Catholic universities are religious in spirit and not “in your face” at all. Also, these schools are spending every penny trying to stay afloat–they aren’t sending $$ back to Rome.</p>
<p>Just let him know you’re willing to support any number of his choices but not willing to pay for a Catholic College. Encourage your child to apply to a number of colleges, as he may well change his mind before May 1st. As for the profile issue, I think you should fill it out, but inform your child and ex-spouse that you will not be financially supporting his enrollment at a Catholic college. Take the middle ground - the high road. When your son sees he’s getting a free ride at colleges A, B and C and having to take out 50 grand in loans for the Catholic, he may change his mind.</p>
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<p>Maybe he is Catholic and wants a Catholic education? What’s weird about that?</p>
<p>gotakun: CC is teeming with students who are dead-set on a specific school. I don’t find that unusual.</p>
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<p>OP: I assume you’re aware that the cost of higher education has outstripped the general rate of inflation by orders of magnitude since you and I were in school. It’s alot harder now to work your way through school, which I suppose is exactly what you want.</p>
<p>You will someday be wondering why you weren’t invited to your own son’s wedding, and why you are not permitted access to your grandchildren. Remember this thread when that day comes. You are a cold-hearted, bitter, vengeful person, and I feel sorry for your son. I simply can’t find it within myself to understand how a parent could thwart their own flesh and blood in order to prove a point to a gigantic organization which will never know that either of them exist.</p>
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<p>The non-custodial profile is not visible to the student or to the custodial parent, and vice versa.</p>
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<p>The student’s custodial parent fills out the Profile for the student and the parent. The non-custodial parent fills out the non-custodial form where required by the college. These forms are filled out with estimates if done prior to taxes being filed, which is quite common when a school requests the form in Oct/Nov and taxes aren’t filed until Jan/Feb. The student cannot fill out the non-custodial form. When taxes are filed, the student/custodial parent/non-custodial parent update the Profile information with corrected information that matches their tax returns.</p>
<p>OP, you remind me of my grandmother. She refuses to talk to any of her children or grandchildren because we are not Jewish. I would LOVE to have a relationship with her but she refuses to until I convert (I am not going to convert). Considering she is the only grandparent I have left, I would love to know her. However, when I realize that she doesn’t support my family because we don’t follow her belief system, I realize that I am not missing out on much. </p>
<p>I hope your son won’t feel the same way about you, but be prepared if he does. It is sad that you would let your hatred of something that you can do nothing about potentially sever your relationship with your son.</p>
<p>And also OP, I’m going to post from another thread what I wrote about simply “working your way” through school: </p>
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<p>It’s PHYSICALLY impossible especially with no aid.</p>
<p>post #34</p>
<p>From what he/she has said so far, the op just doesn’t want to pay for a specific type of education, for all we know the op might be a fine person.</p>
<p>I told my kids I would not pay for a Catholic college, and they respected my feelings, as it is my money we are talking about. There are so many college choices that it was not an issue, and even helped to narrow the lists.</p>
<p>^ But Bay would you at least fill out the PROFILE or FAFSA so that they may potentially receive aid? There is a huge difference between paying and filling out forms for potential aid.</p>
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Wow, you must the be world’s most insightful person to definitively make such judgments based on a few paragraphs of writing on an internet forum, without knowing the in-depth history, circumstances, details, and personalities of everyone involved.</p>
<p>You are wasting your time here on CC when you are clearly the heir-apparent to Dr. Phil.</p>