Just curious if parents are imposing curfew on there students who are home for the summer between freshman and sophomore year after having been away for a year? What is a reasonable expectation for students to have as respect for their parents when living in their parents homes?
I didn’t know anyone who imposed curfews on their adult children once college started. Seems like a sure fire way to make sure your kids don’t come home for any length of time though.
I didn’t impose a set curfew, certainly not on weekends, but I did make my D aware that my husband and I were working and waking early, so that if she could be respectful of that it would make for a better summer for all of us. So yes, I did say it would be great if she would be home around midnight midweek if at all possible so she wouldn’t wake us every night be opening the garage door, etc in the middle of the night.
I never imposed any curfews on college aged kids at home during breaks. I wouldn’t impose a curfew on visiting relatives either. They’re adults.
Respect would simply be…no loud music/TV after a certain hour, but that would be for everyone.
If something like a garage door opening would be a noise issue for sleepers, then I would ask that they don’t use the garage for late returns…again, that rule would be for relatives, too.
No curfews for my guys. They could come and go as they pleased. We asked that they let us know if they wouldn’t be home at night. We asked that they let us know if they wouldn’t be home for dinner. We let them know that everyone who lives in the house has to participate in running the house when it comes to household chores.
No curfew for my soon to be college sophomore. We ask for courtesy in terms of letting us know general whereabouts and time frames, and to text or call in case of a major change in plans. And yeah, we’ve had to do a reminder on pitching in with chores, and dealing with a few new bad habits picked up freshman year (wet towels left in the bedroom - UGH!)
I just tell my kids to let us know if they will be a lot later than 12-1am or so. Just a general courtesy thing. But no curfews.
We also have no set curfews but do expect that we have a general idea of both kids’ plans of where they are and when they expect to be home. We have requested a text if plans change. Just general courtesy so I don’t worry if they aren’t home when expected.
One older HS alum who had exceedingly overprotective parents had a 10 pm curfew even after starting college as a commuter to one of the local public colleges*.
That is…until she grew fed up with this and other forms of patronizing helicoptering, moved out permanently at 20, and cut off all contact with her parents. It has been nearly 30 years and she still hasn’t spoken…much less met with her parents since she moved out.
- Parents refused to allow her to apply to other schools despite having the stats to be admitted with full FA from several private/elite colleges due to their overprotectiveness.
No curfew here (son recently finished 1st year of college). Echo the courtesy expectations above: I need to know if he will be home for dinner, because there can be a difference in meal prep since my daughter is a vegetarian and he is not. I need to know whether to be worried if I wake up at 1am and he isn’t home. I’d like an idea where to start searching if I should be worried. He needs to contribute to general upkeep and occasionally drive his sister places.
Beyond that, he knows when he has to work and when we make family plans. Up to him to balance the rest.
I was just curious. We have the same expectation as several of the above. Our expectation is we would like to know if he will be out past 1 AM. We feel it is courteous to us and want him to realize that it is respectful to those of us who have to get up in the morning. We’ve also tried to explain that as parents we will always be concerned for his safety. Just trying to develop respect on both sides.
Also, as happened to my daughter this summer, you have to worry about them driving tired and getting into an accident. Fortunately she was going slow and no other property was involved and she wasn’t hurt.
While she is borrowing my car while hers in in the shop, the car has to be home by midnight…which usually means she is too.
No curfews. If our Ds had stayed out until 3 in the morning partying or something, I guess we would have had some conversations, but that never happened.
No curfew, but would like to be informed of when they expect to be home (and if they will be around for dinner!). If they change plans and will be late, have asked them to text so I don’t worry, even if it is past my bedtime. 21 and 26 year old easily abide by these rules when they are staying with me. It is for courtesy & safety, and they get that.
No curfew, but I always ask if he’s coming home or not so i know whether to leave a light on and ask him to text me if something changes. He’s working 8-5 so he’s always home Sunday - Thursday anyway by 10.
Another one with no curfew. I do ask to know if they will be home or not for dinner (as it impacts what and how much food I make) and ask them to text if they will be home later than expected so I don’t worry.
My Ds never had a curfew in high school. I can’t imagine ever placing a curfew on a college student.
We just expect some thoughtfulness–let us know whether you’ll be home for meals, be quiet when coming home after lights are out, do your share to help and clean things up. We don’t impose other rules and never have. We rarely need to remind folks living in our household (including guests) of rules and common manners.
I actually never enforced curfews on any of my daughters, even in high school. They weren’t really late night people because they generally had to be up early for work or school. My mother was really strict about it when I was a teen. As much as I love and respect her, I did some things very different than she did when it came to rules.
No curfew here, but we always ask when they expect to get home.