Curfew for college age students home for summer

Parent Cafe
41

My daughter’s new boyfriend’s parents are like this. He’s a commuter student and to be honest, I feel bad for him. He wants so badly to try to grow up. He is 19 going on 20…and they still insist on checking his cell phone, telling him what time he has to be home, and above all, won’t LET him get a job even though he wants to get one. It’s been a source of friction between him and my daughter, who lived on campus last year and who I am trying to treat like an adult. (I don’t even want to know what’s on her cell phone.) When he finally rebels, it’s not going to go well for the parents. That’s probably going to happen sooner rather than later. He wanted to get a dorm room this fall just to get away, and his parents refused, saying they didn’t have the money. So his aunt bought a house near campus for him and three friends to live in. I have a feeling he’s going to go overboard with his newfound freedom, although I wouldn’t be surprised if his mother went over to clean and do laundry, like a bunch of teenagers can’t figure it out.

My daughter has been pretty good about letting me know where she is and when she’s coming home–if she doesn’t, she doesn’t get to borrow my car. Stay out all night with my car without telling me? I’m reporting it stolen and don’t ask me for bail money. But she doesn’t have a curfew. Most of her friends have jobs and have to get up early in the morning, so that cuts down on the late nights. She IS dragging her feet on getting a job, though. After this week she’s not going to be allowed to borrow my car because she never has money for gas.

42

Like most posters–no curfew, courtesy expected.

However, we take “drowsy driving” pretty seriously (and have one episode of this under our belts). Per the NHTSA, if the kid was up at 7am for work and is driving home at 1am, he’s driving with the equivalent of a .05 BAC. So we do ask our S to either have the car home by 1ish, uber home, or spend the night wherever he is.

http://drowsydriving.org/about/facts-and-stats/

43

I agree. All of my kids’ friends have a standing invitation to crash on my living room floor if they are too tired to drive home. All I ask is that they tell their parents where they are. Courtesy, not control.

44

No curfew although I do ask that he lets us know if he is spending the night somewhere else.

45

Read all of the posts Only one of 43 seemed to say yes, all of the rest were no’s. All seemed centered on courtesy. btw- don’t even remember for our son, who was 17 his first summer home from college. He drifted apart from his HS friends. And, I think some of their early morning running precluded late nights.

46

Yep, I am another one who had no curfew, just asked for courtesy and that not coming home call if applicable.

We did discuss it before they came home for the summer when both sides were calm as opposed to once someone was mad.