<p>D was driving on the interstate two days ago. There was a pickup truck in the lane to her right. His lane turned into an exit only, so he started moving into her lane like he didn’t see her. She honked at him to let him know she was there and drove on. There was plenty of time for him to move over, and he did at some point. She thought the incident was over, but he pulled alongside her and gave her the finger. She reciprocated and drove on. Again he pulled alongside her and showed her that he had written down her license plate number. She did the same to him. Again she thought it was over and continued driving. By now she was in the left lane, next to the median wall. He crossed a couple lanes of traffic and hit her, apparently attempting to push her into the median wall. She was able to pull over to the shoulder. He eventually did too, although she said at first it looked like he was not going to stop. She called the police and told them what happened. The man in the pickup took off after a minute. The police arrived and said that the man had driven to the nearest police station where he told them he left the scene of the accident because she was pointing a gun at him. The officer followed her to the same police station. She and the car were searched, but she said she didn’t think they ever believed him about the gun because they didn’t treat her like a threat. In the end, both were sent on their way without any tickets being issued even though he hit her on purpose and lied about the gun. Other cars witnessed all of this, but didn’t stop. Her BF was in the van with her, but the police said he doesn’t count as a witness.</p>
<p>The van has minimal damage. Supposedly his pickup had no damage. D says she has a headache and her back and neck hurt. I’ve told her to get x-rays today if it’s not better. I don’t plan on contacting insurance unless she is hurt since I don’t want another claim against her.</p>
<p>I’m mad. I want this guy off the road. He could seriously injure or kill the next person. For all he knew there could have been children in the back of the van. He wouldn’t have been able to see them. However, I’m not sure if there is anything I can do since the police issued no tickets. And we are afraid of this guy. He is obviously capable of lying to police and hurting people. He could easily track us down through the accident report. Any suggestions on what, if anything, I should do?</p>
<p>“She reciprocated and drove on. Again he pulled alongside her and showed her that he had written down her license plate number. She did the same to him.”</p>
<p>While I agree that this guy doesn’t belong on the road… you do realize your daughter escalated the situation by responding? When someone shows any anger on the road, the safest thing to do is to ignore them, slow down, and take the next exit.</p>
<p>I’m appalled by what the guy did, and the police (non) response.</p>
<p>But I also agree with DMD–by policy, we never respond to that kind of behavior. Crazies are crazies–avoid them, don’t provoke them, for your own safety.</p>
<p>I get that she shouldn’t have given him the finger but running someone off the road is over the top. This guy needs to be off the road. OP: How old is your DD?<br>
If she is over 18 she will have to try to get something done without your involvement. Except for you coaching her.
About six months ago a parked car of mine was hit by a young adult in our town. This kid has been a reckless driver since age 16. He hit our truck so hard he totalled it and then took out an iron fence. The police breathlyzed him but didn’t issue a ticket.<br>
The next day I went to the police station and asked to speak to someone. I let the policeman know that I was very concerned. That this kid had a record of bad driving and that I wanted him severely spoken to and if possible I wanted his license pulled. I wanted to file a complaint. The policeman was very nice and basically told me that given the kids record he was likely going to lose his license.
If I were the OP’s DD here is what I would do. Go to the police station and ask to speak to someone regarding the incident. Make it clear that this guy was over the top and that you would like some assurance that this is being taken seriously. Perhaps a policeman can get a hold of the guy and give him a verbal talking to. This is the first step. If that doesn’t get anywhere I would seriously consider a restraining order against the guy.</p>
<p>D is 19 and we have discussed that she should not have given him the finger too. Had she not done that, it might have ended there.</p>
<p>However, she did the right thing by writing down his plate number although I don’t think I would have shown him that I had done that. And she did the right thing by dialing 911 immediately instead of getting out to talk to him like you normally do after an accident.</p>
<p>Giving him the finger back during the SECOND interaction with him was a mistake. After the THIRD time he approached and acted like he was writing down her number she should have slowed down and let him go on his way, or exited the highway, or just plain ignored him. Writing down the license number was good. Acting like she could keep up with him was not good. He engaged her and she reciprocated, several more times. That was a big mistake. I am sure she has learned a huge lesson. </p>
<p>He was WRONG WRONG WRONG. She was not mature in taking him on.</p>
<p>You don’t mention what state your are in, but for most states, your daughter is entitled to damages caused by the guy and should file a claim with his insurance company. You should keep close records of her medical bills, medication including pain medication, and her health status. The effects of this type of incident do not necessarily appear immediately. It can be a few days. </p>
<p>If the other guy is at fault, it is unclear to me why there would be a claim against you on your insurance. </p>
<p>You can contact a lawyer referral service in your state offered by your state bar association. Often you can get some advise at a reduced price.</p>
<p>The police were faced with a “he said she said” situation since there was no damage to his truck. With no witnesses, and unless he left some of his paint on her car, the police have no reason to believe her over him.</p>
<p>razorsharp, his insurance will not pick up her damage if he was not ticketed or charged with the accident or if there is not a police report that indicates fault. It does not sound like this is the case. If there is an accident report, look to see if there is fault listed. It can’t be a he said she said kind of fault. He has to be listed as causing the accident officially for his insurance to pay. </p>
<p>Perhaps consulting with an attorney is indicated, esp if there are potential injuries. Even though she engaged him, his actions are pretty compelling. One could try a civil action. </p>
<p>I suspect this will just be a pricey learning experience.</p>
<p>She gave him the finger once and showed him that she wrote down his plate number after he showed that he wrote down hers. Yes, both were mistakes, but she did not give him the finger multiple times. Yes, she is an immature 19 yo, but his actions were way over the top. He tried to run her into a median wall and told police she had a gun.</p>
<p>The police said it is “he said-she said” and they cannot prove who was at fault, so it is entirely possible the insurance companies will split the cost 50/50 if we file. The only possibility I can think of is to try to track down the other witnesses. I don’t expect to have any luck with that.</p>
<p>BF rubbed the other guys paint off the mirror, so that is gone. We do have rubber from his tires on the van. But he is not disputing that the vehicles hit, just how it happened.</p>
<p>I think everyone is in agreement that the D made a poor decision. But unless the guy in the pickup truck is an immature teenager himself, he falls into an entirely different category. Hitting her deliberately and lying to the police about being threatened with a gun is downright sociopathic if you ask me. I agree with ebeeeeee. I would go back to the police station with D, speak to the officers who handled the incident, and get some answers about why they let the guy walk away when he is clearly a danger to others. </p>
<p>As for the lesser insurance issue, if the driver of the pickup is insured, it’s possible the two insurance companies will take it to arbitration. My H was once involved in an accident where the other driver made up a ridiculous story about what happened. It went to arbitration, both parties were interviewed and both cars inspected, and the final ruling was in our favor.</p>
<p>This will be a good topic of conversation with my own kids. We have road rage shootings here on a fairly regular basis. It is legal to carry guns in our state so the other guy very well could have a gun. There are a lot of aggressive jerks out there, but it’s not worth your life to cross them.</p>
<p>I have tried to teach my child that apologies don’t cost anything, but they are priceless. Even if she felt that she didn’t do anything wrong, in this instance, if she had indicated that she was sorry for whatever her role in the whole thing was, the incident probably would not have escalated. We don’t have to always get even or prove anything to anyone. Pride can be a bad thing. She is partly at fault here, and so she should learn a lesson. She should have been contrite way early in the interaction, no matter how she really felt. He could have had a gun, as someone else said, above.</p>
<p>OP, no one said she gave him the finger more than once. But you wrote that there was an incident and then she drove on. Then he approached her (2nd time) and gave her the finger and she did as well and then drove on. Then he approached her (3rd) time and motioned that he wrote down her number. She AGAIN took him on and motioned that she was doing the same thing. </p>
<p>He is dangerous. No question about it. That is why she should not have kept up with “keeping” up with him. It only accelerated his anger.</p>
<p>And defensive driving means that you move to the middle lane when there is a lane beside you ending and folks are merging. She had the right of way. But she also could have been courteous and let him in. She was right, it was her lane and he needed to yield the right of way. But the future, it might just be easier to let jerks like this in. No harm, no foul that way.</p>
<p>advmom, no one is saying that. I’m sure that this was a frightening incident for your D but, in my opinion, in instances like this, there’s probably more to the story than either you or the police are hearing. This man may, indeed, be dangerous on the road but your daughter, and likely her boyfriend, probably responded in a way that they shouldn’t have. Otherwise, it probably wouldn’t have escalated the way it did. No one is saying that she deserved to be run off the road, but for the future, it would be wise to let her know how she should have handled the situation. As others have said, she’s fortunate that this wasn’t a complete crazy person who was armed. You just never know who it is who is driving next to you, and it isn’t worth engaging in some sort of interaction when something like this happens. Ever. All young drivers should know that. As for pursuing this any further, you should be contacting your own insurer.</p>
<p>Advmom–I’m sorry that’s the message you are getting. I am sure, though, reading these posts over, that is not the message anyone is intending to send. To think about it metaphorically–</p>
<p>if a kid at the zoo approaches a lion cage, and makes fun of the lion, maybe pokes a harmless little stick at it, and in doing so, the lion gets belligerent and attacks the kid standing too close to the bars, no one would say that the lion had a “right” to. but they would say that the incident wouldn’t have happened, had the kid kept a prudent distance and not engaged. It doesn’t take the blame from the lion, it just means that not having it happen at all would be better for the kid.</p>
<p>The truck driver is a wild animal. We all agree. I think we all also agree that, that being the case, it is wise never to rattle the bars of the cage, just in case. That’s a matter of prudence, not of blame.</p>