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<p>That’s my reaction too. Even had I paid for my own ticket, I would have spent well under a fifth of that total on the prom. As it was I spent well under a tenth of that.</p>
<p>I did know some people who bought prom dresses that cost in the $400 range. I couldn’t imagine why I would want one. Too much money, and too much worry…what if something happened to it?</p>
<p>“That’s my reaction too. Even had I paid for my own ticket, I would have spent well under a fifth of that total on the prom. As it was I spent well under a tenth of that.”</p>
<p>Not if each ticket was $200 or above. I aree with you that this is wretched excess, but living in Sopranoville, it’s very hard to tell the kid that they have to stand out in a negative way. Particularly if he/she is paying.</p>
<p>How did your kid get $1,000 of their own $ to pay for prom?
I’ve got friends who moved to your area, and have heard from them about the excesses. I feel for you.</p>
<p>“How did your kid get $1,000 of their own $ to pay for prom?”</p>
<p>She’d had a job for a long while making $10 an hour before the prom and is a serious saver. She wanted to have the experience but afterward she decided she never wanted such an experience again. Not even her wedding!</p>
<p>IF your daughter wants to go with a boy, there are 12 other boys in the group going. One of them has to know a guy who will go with her. A friend of my daughter’s was in this situation last year but she wanted a date. It took 4 phone calls and the guys came up with 2 dates for her. Whoever she took wound up inviting her to his prom.</p>
<p>Whether she goes alone or gets a date, I hope she has a wonderful time with all her friends and makes great memories.</p>
<p>This is why every girl needs an openly gay male friend.</p>
<p>Oh the hair - I don’t care how much money is spent, I have never seen a “prom do” that didn’t look cheezy. And please, everyone tell their Ds to not pick their dress by standing up like a stick in front of a mirror with their stomachs sucked in and shoulders back. Thell them to slump and relax their abs and jump around - thats what it will look like most of the night and in those candid shots on Facebook.</p>
<p>“This is why every girl needs an openly gay male friend.”</p>
<p>For many, many reasons.</p>
<p>“Oh the hair - I don’t care how much money is spent, I have never seen a “prom do” that didn’t look cheezy.”</p>
<p>My daughter’s looked fabulous. She had her long hair in soft, spiral curls down her back. The hairdresser did an amazing job with her naturally stick-straight hair. We took a candid of her that day that captures my darling girl perfectly like no other picture ever has. I blew it up and have it in my hall so I can see it every day.</p>
<p>I agree with zoosermom–professionally done prom hair can be just a beautiful shiny straight silky look–“natural” but better than natural, for those of us whose who lack dexterity.</p>
<p>Vicarious - D was in the back of a VERY long line to ask hers!!!</p>
<p>Thanks for the input everyone (and making me feel so much better about it) - keep it coming!</p>
<p>
This is why my S said he wasn’t going… and didn’t. Not junior OR senior year. I guess he’s smarter than his mom.</p>
<p>Note to PackMom: he has never regretted it and even I, the mom robbed of her birthright Kodak moment :rolleyes:, am over it.</p>
<p>Haha…thanks for the reassurance,jmmom. I have a feeling he won’t regret it either. He has other friends who are opting out too so I’m sure they’ll find something to do that night. I did the picture thing with S1 so I guess I can live with not doing it again. S2 played football for his sch. I have literally dozens of pics from his senior season this year. He looks way more like himself in football pads than a tuxedo anyway.</p>
<p>Make it fun by looking STUNNING, taking lots of pictures, and later when your hot college/grad school boyfriend sees the pictures, he says, “What do you mean you didn’t have a date? God, I wish I’d known you then!”</p>
<p>Worked for me. :)</p>
<p>(I can also tell you first-hand that one of the most thrilling experiences you can have in a prom dress is fitting into it 15 years later.)</p>
<p>I’m sure those missing proms or going without dates will be fine. They’re going off to college where high school memories will be very quickly eclipsed. My D goes to a performing arts high school where everything is usually done in a pack - including dances. Very few of her friends had the time or the interest in dating. She is asking a friend of a friend to the prom and it will be her first date to any school function - and he doesn’t even go to her school. It’s not your parents’ prom anymore. I have always thought corsages were a waste of money and awkward - that is one tradition that I’d be fine to see dropped. I think bringing flowers to a girl is great but she shouldn’t have to wear them. Personally, I’d rather get truffles. I’d end up wearing those too though.</p>
<p>We messed up when a friend asked S to prom…he thought this was just friends going…she thought something else. We had some family distractions at the time, and I did not stay on top of things, and he did not arrange for flowers. When I thought of it that day, he was sure it was not expected, but of course it was, and her mom was furious, never treated S quite the same again. There are so many rituals to these things, so much potential for wrong reads. </p>
<p>Looking back, it sure seems like these things would be lots more fun with just a group of friends, lots of memories to share collectively, because there is no telling who amongst the group will still be in touch and know whom later in life. I hope your daughter will have a great time, and if she goes without a date or with a casual friend, the good news is that down the road, there will be no painful break-ups, scenes, awkward reshuffling of relationships…she can have it all!</p>
<p>"When I thought of it that day, he was sure it was not expected, but of course it was, and her mom was furious, never treated S quite the same again. There are so many rituals to these things, so much potential for wrong reads. "</p>
<p>How very small minded of the mom.</p>
<p>My S went to the prom after being asked by a friend, too. The only reason that I insisted that he get flowers and also wear a tux (Lord knows what S planned to wear, but I had to force him to go with H and rent a tux) was that I had read about those rituals on CC.</p>
<p>I told him that he needed to get flowers matching his date’s gown. At my urging, he called his date, who refused to tell him what color her gown was. The day of the prom, her mom told me that his date didn’t reveal the color because she didn’t buy the gown until the day of the prom!</p>
<p>Ended up the white flowers that S got her went nicely with her black dress. His black tux with white sash (whatever those things are called) – the only color that S would get since he’s a conservative dresser – went nicely with her outfit and the white buttonnaire she gave him. They looked as if they’d planned things that way. </p>
<p>I hadn’t gone to my proms. H may have gone to his, but doesn’t remember. His mom – an 8th grade drop-out married to H’s father, who’d left h.s. after 10th grade-- literally had chased away girls who’d seemed interested in H. “My S is going to go to college,” she’d tell them with all the fierceness her 5’1 stature could muster.</p>
<p>I look at these dances as kinds of rights of passage, whether they go alone, with a group of friends or with a date, any way it plays out, its an experience to be remembered- bad or good</p>
<p>That is why I do little things- like the perfume, the lunch before, or whatever</p>
<p>These days, we move so fast that we dont see all the amazing milestones our kids are hitting, so when the opportunity strikes, its fun to take advantage without being too schmaltzy</p>
<p>I know a mom who went to lunch with her son the day of each prom/dance - the first time, it was actually before his first school dance- in middle school- she talked to him about manners, treating the girls, etc…and she made it a ritual, it was especially meaningful before senior prom</p>
<p>it is not about making a big deal of the dance, but recognizing that we have children who are becoming adults before out very eyes and taking the moment to recognize that and make them feel special</p>
<p>And if they are the kinds that just don’t do the dances, look for those other moments- taking the SAT the first time, clicking that first submit button for a college ap, their first paycheck, whatever strikes your fancy</p>
<p>I agree that we have a role as parents to teach our offspring about relationships, what is expected, etc. We have had many conversations about what a girl really means, how she is perceiving things, what his role is and duties are. He was amazed that I “knew” that the middle school girl who asked him to the dance was talking about him to her girlfriends (someone told him his name written all over the inside of her notebook, and he could not believe it!) It is no small part of our parenting contribution, to teach them how to treat others, and when necessary, to translate!</p>
<p>I would be happy if my daughter actually had fun at the prom this year. this will be her third year in a row going. I think she had an okay time when she was a sophomore…last year, her boyfriend wanted a little something she wasn’t willing to give ( and I am not talking buttoneer 
)
It sort of spoiled it for her.
This year, she is going with a male friend. For some reason, it seems more important that all of the dates and their friends are compatible for going together in the same limo.</p>
<p>Luckily , she has decided to wear her sister’s dress, which looks great on her.
Saving a few bucks there.</p>
<p>I told her that if she hates the prom so much, why not skip it ?
She answered me that it is " social suicide NOT to go "</p>
<p>Far be it for me to disrupt her social status…</p>
<p>Her senior year, D wanted a new dress for a dance, which I KNEW she would never wear again at college. So, I bribed her, told her if she would borrow a dress (from a friend’s older sister), I would have a ring of my mom’s fixed for her and give it to her, and she would have that forever. She took me up on it, and she still wears the ring almost every day.</p>