<p>[unwanted sexual experience](<a href=“http://www.komotv.com/stories/41449.htm”>www.komotv.com/stories/41449.htm</a>)</p>
<p>This floors me
We are obviously not doing a good enough job educating our young people about their rights and responsiblities regarding sexual contact.</p>
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<p>I’m sure the 5-15 percent of college men that were raped definitely didn’t mind having some woman take advantage of them. I wouldn’t mind.</p>
<p>I remember reading a few years back that a woman has a LIFETIME 1 in 4 chance of being raped, and now they’re saying a college student has the same chance? Something doesn’t make sense. My guess would be that it’s the expanded definition of what constitutes rape (“or attempted rape”). And 5 to 15 percent of college men were raped? Again, that simply doesn’t make sense. </p>
<p>I did a bit of research, and found this study: <a href=“http://www.popcenter.org/Problems/problem-acquaintance.htm[/url]”>http://www.popcenter.org/Problems/problem-acquaintance.htm</a></p>
<p>which says that 90% of college-campus rapes of women are by acquaintances (although not usually date rape). It also says that college men report “unwanted kissing or fondling” more often than actual rape. </p>
<p>It does note that some of the studies are contradictory.</p>
<p>when I was college age I was submitted to “unwanted sexual experience” three times- in none of the cases was I drinking or under any influence. All were people I knew- one was my boyfriends ( who was out of the country studying) college roommate who offered to give me a ride home- but not friends.
When you are molested that can seem just as violent as rape-look on the seattle livejournal for a picture of a woman who was sexually assualted during the riots in Pioneer square that resulted in the beating death of Kristopher Kime
I was raised to learn that I didn’t know what I thought or felt, * that *others did a better job of that, so I was an easy target, but I hoped young people today were better able to recognize dangerous situations and call for help or avoid them altogether.</p>
<p>Jerry09,
I’m assuming your comment was mostly meant to be humorous. I can assure you, though, that when men are the victims of sexual assault (either by other males or by females), they do not report the experience to be pleasureable. Males experience tremendous shame and therefore can be even less likely to talk about the experience than females.</p>
<p>At my D’s Freshman orientation this past fall all students were required to attend a program of readings performed by actors but written by students from the university about their experiences of being sexually assaulted. In addition to the types of stories you might expect (sometimes involving poor judgement, too much alcohol and “No” not being taken seriously ) the readings included some by men who had passively facilitated assaults by friends and their regrets and guilt about what they’d done. At the end of the program they gave the stats for sexual assaults on college students which I can’t remember exactly (but which were shockingly higher than I had thought) but also asked all participants to pledge to do something specific to stop these things happening on campus. It was a disturbing program to attend, but excellent I thought in terms of increasing awareness and sensitizing new students to the extent of the problem and empowering them to be careful about the choices they make and to be active in protecting each other.</p>
<p>“which says that 90% of college-campus rapes of women are by acquaintances (although not usually date rape). It also says that college men report “unwanted kissing or fondling” more often than actual rape.”</p>
<p>This is the same percentage as outside of college campuses. The reality is that if these incidents had occurred in the community rather than on campuses, a lot of these college men would be spending time in prison for an awfully long time. Proportionately there are more male rapists attending college than those in the same age cohort who do not go to college.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.wm.edu/so/oneinfour/[/url]”>http://www.wm.edu/so/oneinfour/</a></p>
<p>this is a group that WM has, One in Four. All freshmen males are required to attend one of their [very good] programs. They discuss what males can do to help, and don’t paint them as the cause of all the problems, which I think makes the audience listen better.</p>
<p>Like dmd, I question the stats some, but anything that can be done to make the stats lower, regardless of what they are, is a good thing.</p>
<p>Jerry09 - what if they were raped by other men?</p>
<p>Another related article in today’s Boston Globe:</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.boston.com/news/education/higher/articles/2006/01/24/study_nearly_2_in_3_us_students_is_sexually_harassed/[/url]”>http://www.boston.com/news/education/higher/articles/2006/01/24/study_nearly_2_in_3_us_students_is_sexually_harassed/</a></p>
<p>Jerry09 - what if they were raped by other men?</p>
<p>Some of what I have read about that occurs as hazing would also count as sexual assault</p>
<p>In case you can not open the link, here is a quote from the article:</p>
<p>"Study: Nearly 2 in 3 US students is sexually harassed
By Deborah Zabarenko, Reuters | January 24, 2006</p>
<p>WASHINGTON --Nearly two-thirds of U.S. college students are affected by sexual harassment – ranging from offensive jokes and gestures to touching and grabbing, according to a study released Tuesday.</p>
<p>Men are more likely to harass than women, but women and men are equally likely to be harassed on U.S. campuses, according to a report by the American Association of University Women.</p>
<p>Researchers found that 62 percent of college students experienced sexual harassment, and 32 percent of college students said they were victims of physical harassment.</p>
<p>“The primary form of harassment that we’re seeing is actually non-contact: it tends to be remarks, gestures and jokes,” Elena Silva, the report’s co-author, said in a telephone interview. “But the fact that one-third of college students are experiencing some form of physical harassment is certainly a concern.”"</p>
<p>I have huge problems with these types of anonymous surveys…they remind me of the infamous Wechsler studies involving campus drinking. What these studies share is poorly defined terminology and a complete inability to ascertain who is responding in good faith, and who is just a college kid making the online (or snailmail) version of a prank call.</p>
<p>What do they mean by an “unwanted” sexual experience? When did it become unwanted? The very fact that as many as 15% of male respondents claimed to have such an experience suggests that they were intoxicated and wished they hadn’t had sex with that person the other night. To say that they were “raped” is ridiculous. I would apply the same logic to the women. Obviously, I’m not talking about women who have drunk themselves into unconsciousness and then been raped. But the study cited doens’t deal with such distinctions. It equates “I wish I hadn’t done that” with “It was done to me against my will.”</p>
<p>Man, I would have never thought that my first statement would be way over-analyzed. Yes, I was trying to make humor out of a serious situation.</p>
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<p>Waking up next to the ugly girl/guy who looked pretty good when you were both drunk last night…that is what they meant.</p>
<p>I think that much of what is called “unwanted sexual experience” is just that, hazmat…it then is transposed into “rape” and then we have yet another study author telling Katie Couric or Oprah Winfrey on national TV that “one in four college women report being raped while on campus.” And that 50% of students are “binge drinkers.” And a large portion of the population gasps.</p>
<p>I live on a campus after living at a boarding school…drinking inmpairs one’s judgement of beauty and memory…hehehe. There are many songs written about this which in my mind is social documentation and commentary about the American social customs of: unwanted sexual experiences.</p>
<p>I can’t say what happened to others- but my experiences of sexual assault had nothing to do with “changing my mind”.
Blaming the victim is like blaming the person who gets carjacked for having a nice car, or having a car that has a high theft rate.
I was sexually assaulted when I was attending junior high.
It was in the suburbs ( rose hill) and was a nicely landscaped campus, which meant lots of trees and shubbery.
I had been attending an after school activity, and although I sometimes walked home to my house several miles away, it was winter and dark and snowy and I was waiting to see if the activity bus had come yet ( it wasn’t regular) a group of 5 or 6 boys dragged me off into the bushes. I weighed about 90 lbs- I tried to fight them off but wasn’t too successful. I tried to tell both my mother and the counselor what happened, but because it was very difficult for me to talk about, I wasn’t apparently emphatic enough for them to pay attention to me.
How was this my fault?
Did I somehow attract these boys just by standing there waiting for a bus?</p>
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<p>My understanding is that we are discussing college campus…not junior high or single working girls living in apartment complexe. The unwanted sexual experience by an acquaintance. </p>
<p>I am very sorry for the crime against you and I am in no way blaming the victim. Rape is a crime of violence. It is not an unwanted sexual advance.</p>
<p>it completely wasnt your fault and it’s good you can open up now.
some people on this board seemed to have a problem with the high statistics - it’s true that many of these surveys are not as scientific as they could and should be but the fact is that sexual harassment remains a problem and shocking statistics help people understand that it IS a problem not just something that will never happen to them.
i agree that their terms need to be better-defined and that “i wish i hadnt done that” is NOT the same as “i was raped” but there’s no reason to belittle the experiences of people - yes, even men - who honestly report that they were violated. and it is entirely true that MOST rapes are committed by someone the victim knows. stranger danger has largely - not completely - become a myth.
and this doesn’t seem to be a situation that calls for humor.</p>
<p>my point was that if in the early 70s a group of young teens felt safe assaulting a classmate- how unlikely is it that a group of young men who possibly have been coached by movies and video games to objectify women as sexual objects( look at the popularity of Mr and Mrs Smith which has a scene of the husband kicking his wife in the face when she is on the ground), who have had their reasoning processes diminished by possible alcohol use, might behave similarly if they don’t think they will be caught</p>