<p>Sorry, but the response to this
is “duh”. In any relationship people should find a compatible mate. </p>
<p>And this
made me LOL! Some are better listeners than others. Pretty apparent around here :)</p>
<p>I am in my sophomore year of study… and mine is an interracial relationship (brown (i) dating a white). we have been together for the past almost 4 months now (one physically and rest three via skype/FB). Everything started off great but recently I have hit trouble. We fail to have a good convo. And our talking hours are never in sync these days (there is a time difference of 12 hours ), the problem is she is ****ed of with me as she thinks that i am not making enough efforts to come online and chat with her…also a few days back I noticed that our convo have become very dry and one sided (kind of more of question based); i asked her the reason or if anything was wrong, she said that she used to like me a lot in the beginning but suddenly stopped feeling the same way one fine day because of the ‘time and space’ but on the contrary wants to rebuild those feeling and relationships once we meet in about 2 weeks… I feel there is a severe communication gap building up and this is taking toll on me slowly; i am very stressed, depressed, unable to spend quality time with family or even study diligently. I would be very happy if i am shown some path.</p>
<p>Protag, is that you again?</p>
<p>^^^Not necessarily. Could be someone was actually looking for dating advice and saw this thread, so thought this was the place to come for it.</p>
<p>The OP was a grad student, and this is a sophomore.</p>
<p>Who knows, we may have just started a CC version of Dear Abby!</p>
<p>Don’t believe everything you read, montegut :)</p>
<p>^^This is not the only thread like this, either. Not surprising, comes with territory.</p>
<p>I tried to follow this thread but it was too long, so apologies if any of this is repetitive. Here is my best advice to you:</p>
<p>You were smart to work hard and avoid partying on college. Informal dating would have given you some good experience, but overall you made the most of that time period. Enjoy the extra brain cells. :)</p>
<ol>
<li>Find a way to do a looks and manners overhaul.<br></li>
</ol>
<p>Looks: Don’t do what you have been doing (even if you look great, some small adjustments will give you a nice boost confidence wise). Instead, seek subtle, positive changes by directly asking experts for advice. Get a stylist from Nordstrom or some other decent department store to pick out some new outfits for you. Get a new hair cut from a top salon (you can go elsewhere the next time - just take lots of pictures from all sides so you can get it recreated more cheaply). Have your teeth professionally bleached or buy a great over-the-counter product and use it. Make sure you wear clothing only one time before washing, and wear good deodorant, all the time. Keep your clothes and your apartment neat and fresh smelling (open your windows for a few hours before having a date over). Work out regularly.</p>
<p>The above may sound superficial, but trust me, women care about this stuff. We are biological creatures after all. </p>
<p>Manners/Personality: What is your social IQ? Spend an afternoon in the library or the Barnes and Noble and read up on this stuff. Think of nonverbal as well as verbal communication. How is your “first impression” performance? Do you give eye contact, smile warmly, and show genuine interest in other people’s conversations? Do you have a good gut feel about when people want more of you, and when they want less of you?</p>
<ol>
<li>increase the odds of you meeting not warm bodies of the female gender, but instead females who are high potential matches for you. You may come across a good match in a park or other random spot, but a more targeted search will yield better results.<br></li>
</ol>
<p>Some posters jumped to the defense of women when you referenced finances in your original post. However, in the real world finances and stability are important considerations for both genders, and there is nothing wrong with that. The mating game is about finding a suitable match. Of course, chemistry and falling in love count, but suitability is huge. </p>
<p>I would let people know you are trying to meet a great person. Your parents’ friends, aunts and uncles, or your cousins could be great resources, depending on your family. Friends could fix you up as well. On your own, you should seek out places where women with backgrounds and lifestyles like your own might be. College alumni groups, professional associations, volunteer groups for young professionals (I think I saw one once on ■■■■■■■■■■), a really nice health club during before or after work hours, etc.</p>
<ol>
<li> Don’t give up on the online dating stuff. I’ve heard great things about eHarmony.</li>
</ol>
<p>Good luck!</p>