<p>I just think his confidence level will be helped by a lot if he has a string of gold digger relationships. That’s his main issue now, lack of confidence. But if you guys don’t like it, perhaps I am wrong.</p>
<p>You are wrong.</p>
<p>POIH is offering some good advice. In addition to the content, he is considerate and not flip at all. It’s nice to read that sort of response (as most on this thread have been until VERY recently).</p>
<p>Just for the record, I was not being flip at all. Hopefully my son will never ask me for dating advice, but if he does that’s what I would tell him. The OP could have been my son age wise. I do not make fun of young folks.</p>
<p>
Probably gonna get the most agreement from posters here for that one. Probably a good time to cash in your chips, IP.</p>
<p>Look, I hope that he doesn’t have to ask for advice from this collective board either. Come now, getting a date shouldn’t be that hard, as far as I recall. It’s been decades and in another country, but still.</p>
<p>Back to the OP-</p>
<p>Most of the online dating services et you put “I will tell you later” or something like that in the salary range. I believe thats what most people do. Your degree level and profession should be enough to let potential interested parties know your approximate salary range. Do not put the salary or range in your profile. Its just tacky.</p>
<p>Wish I could set you up with my girl. She LOVES the science and engineering guys. She is an Art girl and swoons when boys talk that “science talk”. Really!!! I was thinking about where you would go to meet her? (Not her in particular but a girl like her) Hmmm. That IS tough! I think you have to network through friends. However, she does always go to Art galleries and openings. She likes book stores, too! The girl lives on Coffee so maybe coffee shops. There is my two cents worth.</p>
<p>Oh! I think this guy’s problem is very common. I’m hearing this a lot from the twenty to thirty age group. It starts after they get out of college or grad school. They have been so busy with work and school they forget or never learned how to date.</p>
<p>Oh yeah, I just read through and found you don’t like music??? What is that about? Most science guys like music of some kind. That is a big deal breaker for girls. They love music. You have to work on that dude.</p>
<p>thermo, I went back and read all your posts. My question is: do you (or have you had) many platonic relationships with girls/women? In school, did you have female friends that you felt comfortable with? I know you’re an engineer, but I also know that there are plenty of girls in engineering now. </p>
<p>Speaking as a mother of a daughter who has had several successful long-term relationships: often the best romantic relationships evolve from real friendships. Try to find a new friend, not a girlfriend.</p>
<p>And please, for the love of God, do not put your salary in your on-line profile. That reeks of desperation.</p>
<p>No worries. There will not be a shortage of available women for the rest of your life. You will have daily opportunities to meet them. The rest is up to you. Be confident, open, friendly and willing to take a risk.</p>
<p>I agree with scout. Develop friendships and invite people to hang out, both male and female. Just in our town, there are non-pressure hang-out places: movies on the lawn, contra dancing, food truck round-ups…</p>
<p>I should add, take advantage of this being your final year of grad school. You will never have has many single women in your age range in such close proximity as you will in college.</p>
<p>I just want to add couple of important things. Learn to listen to women. As an engineer, you more than likely just want to fix any problem we are having. We don’t want advice most of the time. We just want you to really listen only. We want you to care about what we care about. </p>
<p>Also take out engineering from your profile. Too many engineers fit the typical engineering profile. Think Raj(Although Howard is the engineer) from big bang theory. I personally dig engineers and dated lots of them during and after college. I have a thing for quiet smart guys that can support themselves. </p>
<p>Have you tried tutoring math or physics. Maybe tutoring will give you more face to face time with girls.</p>
<p>I know my rising freshman dd will at some point will be batting her baby blue eyes trying to get through either the math or physics for her chemistry degree. I told her to make a point to go see the math tutors for help becuase more than likely there will be some smart guys there to help. Many more women are taking majors that require math and physics.</p>
<p>^ Great idea.</p>
<p>I have a slightly different opinion on the listening issue. I think you should be yourself. You shouldn’t change your natural tendencies just to impress women. It will come out sooner or later. If your natural tendency is to solve problems, and there are some (many?) women who doesn’t want you to solve anything but just listen, then there is a compatibility issue. You can try to compromise and put your natural instincts in check, but you won’t be happy in the long run. You have to be yourself. I am not saying that these women have to change and let you solve their problems. I am saying that there must be some women who want their problems solved rather than just listened to, and you have to find that set. </p>
<p>Bottom line, don’t change yourself for anyone. You won’t like it in the long run.</p>
<p>
LOL. My engineer s’s will happily fix it if it is a hard-wired problem. The emotional stuff, not so much.</p>
<p>^^ “Listening to women” and “being yourself” are not mutually exclusive. IP, if you are joking, you are not funny. If you are serious, this is ridiculous.</p>
<p>Sometimes, women just want to be listened to. If they want you to fix something, they will ask you.</p>
<p>I was totally serious. Some (many?) men do not make great listeners. They shouldn’t have to change themselves into great listeners just to impress women. That makes no sense to me.</p>
<p>There are women who don’t just want to be listened to. My wife is one (she is a engineer/scientist). So the OP should find women who are compatible with him, rather than going for women who are not compatible.</p>