<p>I had been seriously worried about my kids, especially S. When he went on a month-long trip for the summer tho, both he & D had nice, pleasant summer romances, so that made all of us happy & reassured.</p>
<p>I almost completely disagree with liv4physicz’s advice. </p>
<p>The dog thing has already been addressed. </p>
<p>Getting buff won’t get you a girl. Also, becoming muscular isn’t just lifting a couple of weights every now and then. It’s a complete lifestyle change with your eating and exercise habits. You also don’t want to change yourself for a girl. That’s what everyone’s been saying all along–just be yourself and channel your interests. </p>
<p>Confidence is key. I do agree with that advice.</p>
<p>How has your soccer club and volunteer opportunities been? Have you made any new friends? I wish you the best of luck!</p>
<p>Sorry about the delay in replying, I have not logged on much lately. Since posting here I’ve tried a few things</p>
<p>1) Soccer: Its a bit of a bust, we have a team of about 12 but there are only 2 girls. Our games are pretty late in the evening so we don’t really socialize afterwards.</p>
<p>2) Cooking classes: 50-50 between men and women but everyone was in there 40-60s except me.</p>
<p>3) Volunteering: Just went to a couple sessions, unfortunately, there were only 2 other volunteers and one was a mom in her 30s and the other was a retired lady.</p>
<p>I am in the process of getting a dating coach to look over my profile, hopefully it will help.</p>
<p>"Confidence is key " I have heard this a lot but i’m having trouble getting confident as my results are not great so far. </p>
<p>DESPITE the fact that things are not going so well, I do have hope. Before this year, i was afraid of joining new activities where I didn’t know anyone. Now, this is not a problem for me. When school rolls around in September, I’m planning on joining a few clubs.</p>
<p>Glad you took these steps this summer and have an optimistic attitude as the fall session is approaching. I would suggest visiting the school’s library and food court often, and I’ll bet you’ll find a lone female at some point you can chat up.</p>
<p>One problem my son has always had in meeting girls is the fact that they “travel in packs”. How intimidating! That’s why I think the library and possibly food court/dining hall/coffee shop might be places you can catch one of them alone!</p>
<p>Joining clubs at school is a great idea. Look for service organizations and sports, like you’re doing now. Since you’ll be on a college campus, you might find someone closer to your age. The churches on campus probably have youth ministries. I would also attend campus concerts and movies. You may find someone with similar interests there.</p>
<p>Good luck and keep us posted!</p>
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<p>That’s because guys are afraid to ask them out and they need a social life! At least that’s the case with my D and her friends. </p>
<p>I went contra dancing the other night. Lots of people of all ages, but young women without dates as well.</p>
<p>Maybe someone already pointed this out, but those old folks that are such a bummer when they show up at functions you’ve attended are often great matchmakers. I am always on the lookout for two compatible souls to unite. Veto the gym as a place to approach women, you will get labeled as a “creeper”. Joining a running, cycling or hiking club is a better way to socialize. And don’t be shy about letting everyone know you are interested in meeting people. Posting on CC was a great start in the right direction.</p>
<p>I’ve been taking improv classes and I am the oldest in the group by far. Everyone else is in their mid 20s to early 30s. We always go out for a drink or dinner after class. I tell my young single acquaintances that it is a great way to meet young, outgoing people.</p>
<p>I have a suggestion. Take out the engineer from your online profile. Substitute that with professional. Then add your income. See if that changes things.</p>
<p>Substitute that with professional. Then add your income. See if that changes things.
EEW TMI</p>
<p>What’s the harm in trying? It’s not like the OP is swimming in dates right now. I think he will be pleasantly surprised.</p>
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<p>Why don’t they ask the guys out instead? Are they afraid to do so?</p>
<p>If I saw a man’s salary in his online dating profile I’d assume he’s using that to compensate for some sort of deficiency elsewhere.</p>
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<p>Dude, let me let you in on a huge secret. Most people don’t realize it. Others don’t share. This is the crux of the issue.</p>
<p>Women are not special. They are humans too. They have the same desires and weaknesses and insecurities like you. OK, may be not same, but similar.</p>
<p>So why are you so scared of them? Are you scared of approaching guys? Don’t think of all women as a potential date. That’s what ruining it for you. Think of them as another guy. Unless you have no friends, you can clearly approach guys and make a connection. So why is it so hard for you to do the same with women? Outside of the physical differences, they are no different.</p>
<p>Oh good…another series of questions from the master of “stirring the pot”. Ignore the ■■■■■.</p>
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<p>You want to try out an experiment? Open two fictitious online dating accounts with male profiles. Keep virtually the same profile, but add the salary to one. After a month, report back which one got more responses. You may be very surprised.</p>
<p>Oh, I don’t doubt a good salary will get responses. I’m just commenting on the type of man who would post that. He’s somebody with fears of inadequacy elsewhere. </p>
<p>And, along those lines, any girl who would choose her man based on his salary ain’t no prize, either. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Well, at least it will give the OP a chance to practice and get over his insecurity. No one is saying that he will have to marry these women.</p>
<p>Fascinating…</p>
<p>IndianParent, I think OP is looking for a real relationship. He’s not going to gain any confidence dating a string of gold-diggers. He also doesn’t need to conduct an experiment. This is his social life, not a lab.</p>
<p>IP#97 - I’ll second ‘DougBetsy’ that any one who answer the profile just because of salary won’t be good enough for practice too. </p>
<p>OP: I think your approach to the problem at hand is wrong.</p>
<p>First, you need to open up and live a life. Understand what you want from your life then see if there is any place for someone else in that life.</p>
<p>Since you never went out of your dorm room during the college year, it is quite obvious that you don’t have time for someone else in your life. So going after girls will result in only disappointments.</p>
<p>If you really want to have a real good life partner then you also need to be a good partner. </p>
<p>First change yourself, try the following
- Take couple of hours everyday from your busy schedule and do some community service.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Read some non technical books, specially some romantic novels try Kane and Able</p></li>
<li><p>Spend some time on your hygeine, and dress style.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>The benefit of the above activities.
- You will be able to learn to spend time that doesn’t translate into money as you need a lot more such free quality time first with your partner then with your family.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Reading non technical books will provide a difference in perspective, give you some senstivity which will come handy when listening to your partner concerns and later to your family concerns.</p></li>
<li><p>A pleasing outlook always attaract other as first impression is a lasting impression even at work, it will come handy for going up in the career as well as progressing/accepting well into your partner family.</p></li>
</ol>