<p>H & I met playing league volleyball as well. Neither of us are very good at it or pursued it after we met & started dating, but it was a good way for both of us to meet others and expand our social networks. We both met some other friends through that. H also met folks organizing & playing in league bowling and tennis. He also ran marathons, but I don’t think he met many that way. He joined the junior chamber of commerce & was very active in it & met many men & women there.</p>
<p>The above post is spot on. Folks only introduce people they care about to others they think are nice, interesting people. You have to work on deepening and broadening your interests, to add more meaning to your life and incidentally meet more people who are doing things in their lives. You will be pleasantly surprised by the new people in your life and the depth it brings.</p>
<p>Regular church attendance is great-a large pool of hopefully diverse people and situations to become involved with. All sorts of opportunities for volunteering arise in most church settings. </p>
<p>One thing that hooks many females-heck, people of all stripes, is conversational ability. Learn to express interest in others, ask about their background, find out what makes them tick. The old Dale Carnagie classic, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” discusses some of those people skills that lead to life long success. </p>
<p>I hope you can find some female friends before getting into ‘dating’ too much. Friendship takes some of the pressure off the process, and may even lead to romance down the road.</p>
<p>Toastmasters is also a nice group that can help improve your public speaking and puts you in conversational settings–if it’s near/on a college campus, it often has a lot of young people attending, male & female.</p>
<p>Churches often have numerous social & community service events–helping plan & attend them creates many opportunities to get to know people better, which can lead to lifetime friendships and more.</p>
<p>bclintonk…Post #60 was excellent and sounds right on the spot. I think many engineering types need to expand their interests. </p>
<p>Do you read books for enjoyment? What about the newspaper and human interest type of stuff? Joining organizations that will expand your mind beyond the world of engineering is very important. Woman like guys who can communicate and carry a conversation and if you are having difficulty with this it may just mean that you need more to draw on. It is possible that you just do not have alot of knowledge or experience in the humanities arena. </p>
<p>When you start meeting young woman ask them what they enjoy or what they would like to do? A mistake that I have seen made by the young men that I know is that they assume that everyone will like what they like. Example: Just because you enjoy anything related to an active lifestyle such as running, skiing, climbing, and hiking it does not mean that all woman will enjoy this. In between the run, climb or hike there needs to be more in terms of conversation. An interesting and open person will rarely feel that they can’t meet someone.</p>
<p>My son has expanded his friendship base over the years through his love of movies. Maybe when you’re at a church function, you might strike up a conversation with others, married or not, about upcoming or current, or even old movies. A fellow worker might have a female acquaintance/relative, who has similar interest in movies that they may want to introduce you to. Movies are a good first date because you can enjoy something together, and then talk about it afterwards. It’s a great summer for movies, so there is ample opportunity to take out a first date. If nothing comes of it, at least you saw a good movie and made the first step toward feeling comfortable around girls.</p>
<p>Above posters are right in making connections with attached people. Someone is not going to introduce you to their sister/neighbor, etc, without getting to know you first. While you may not be making an effort to get to know the married women, or even men, at your work, because they’re not dating material, it’s a good way to form a relationship that will lead to introductions to single women.</p>
<p>There is middle ground between faking an interest in ballet to meet women, and staying in your all-male engineering ghetto. You can explore and cultivate other interests. My biggest interest is singing in choirs and musical theater. You don’t meet straight men that way, and they definitely do not want to discuss how great the Lincoln Center South Pacific production was. So I took my very faint curiosity about football and learned a lot more about it, and now I really enjoy watching. It’s not a fake interest, it’s a genuine one, but one I acquired on purpose to have more to talk about with straight men.</p>
<p>Online dating sites are a great way to meet dates, especially for the introverted or inexperienced. However, you need a trustworthy female friend to help you with your profile and your emails, or it will be a waste of your time, as you have already experienced. If you don’t have any such friends (or any sisters), then finding some has to be your first priority. I don’t know people in our generation who got a girlfriend before they had a female friend. Females will just be foreigners to you.</p>
<p>Doesn’t your church have mixed fellowship activities? Sign up to serve at a soup kitchen or paint the church basement or other mission activity.</p>
<p>Also, if you’re meeting 50-year-old men who like tennis and biking, a lot of them have wives and daughters and are in a position to give you an informed critique. If you can find a buddy you trust, he might tell you exactly what you need to hear. (“Son, cut out that nasty Axe spray.”)</p>
<p>Last night my eighty-something mother-in-law was over. She was widowed not too long ago, her second time being widowed. She let slip that she is interested in a guy she met somewhere, just to have someone to go out with, etc. She said she was going to invite him to attend one of her many clubs (book clubs, movie clubs, etc.) she’s in as an overture. I turned to my kids and said, “I hope you are taking notes.” because their grandmother is nothing, if not socially skilled. My MIL is in all kinds of groups and knows all kinds of people – that was how she met her second husband, through a mutual acquaintance. You have to get out there and meet a lot of people, beyond your small group of engineer friends, people with a variety of interests, etc. As a poster above mentioned, you probably need to develop some new interests and expand your horizons.</p>
<p>Put the word out that you’d like to meet someone. The wives of the teammates is a great suggestion, as would be the ladies at your place of worship and your office. Many middle-aged women love nothing more than setting up a nice young man. Just politely let the women in your life know that you’d be open to meeting a nice young lady. Networking is always a good thing. Then if someone sets you up, be open to giving it a try because if the set-up isn’t worth pursuing, perhaps if you’re a nice guy, that young lady might have a friend or a cousin or a neighbor who would be perfect for you.</p>
<p>At this point, i don’t think its realistic for me to get a dog but i will keep it in mind for the future. </p>
<p>After reading the responses, I’ve joined a co-ed soccer league that starts in a few weeks and also will look into more volunteer opportunities. I have also asked a female friend to look over my internet dating profile.</p>
<p>Just remember to take it slowly when it comes to approaching women you meet on the team. Let them get a chance to get to know you a bit first and for you to get to know them. Keep it light at the beginning. </p>
<p>A lot of sports teams go after the game to a pizza parlor, sports bar, etc. Great time to get to know people from your team. Agree with jonri that coming on too strong at the beginning could be problematic.</p>
<p>Yes, going out with the team for drinks/snacks/etc. and keeping a friendly conversation about general topics going is the best way to start friendships & allow them to slowly grow. Getting too intense or serious too early will scare folks away from wanting to get to know you.</p>
<p>And try not to be a mouth breather and stand too close to the girls, either! Sorry, had a stereotypical engineer/nerd moment. I’ve watched too many episodes of the Big Bang Theory. I can totally identify with those guys as a mother of a nerd/engineering major with similar buddies.</p>
<p>Get a dog, work out, be confident! Your problem may be that you just haven’t taken the first step of asking a girl out. I completely agree with the dog idea, plus who doesn’t love dogs? And I’m going to assume you’re not obese, but either way, get buff. And don’t fall into the “socially-awkward engineer” stereotype. Just be confident in yourself and it should help.</p>
<p>If you want a dog, offer yourself as a dog sitter & walk that dog/those dogs. Do NOT get a dog just to potentially attract dates. A dog IS a responsibility and not something to use as an accessory!</p>
<p>OPs plan to participate in activities that he has listed sound like a great place to begin!</p>
<p>Wow, you guys got me excited when I saw new posts. I thought our old friend the OP was giving us an update.</p>
<p>As my son is just finishing a summer class, full of girls, and not a phone number in hand, I will no doubt be following this thread for many years to come.</p>