I’m a little jealous, we could barely get our son to Skype once a week! He did post pictures to facebook which were what I really wanted. My inclination would be to plead to being an old fogey and only able to check the phone once a day.
@brantly You could tell her that the texts all in a row like that, while completely normal for a 20 year old, make you anxious as a XX year old! That is my issue with it. The rapid fire of it just freaks me out bc most 51 year olds would only do it in one situation:
HELP!
I’m being held…
…in some guy’s trunk…
…on hwy 81…
Red convertible…
southbound…
SOS!
Nevermind…he forgot I was here and I got out myself bc none of my friends read rapid fire texts!
@HRSMom lol! I know what you mean. I hate the rapid fire.
While I understand completely the OP’s problem with this, I just had a thought after reading #37 by @MYOS1634 . If my Dad was still alive and he had an IPhone, I think I’d be texting him and sending him pics of all the little mundane things that I and my family were doing (I’m 56). One of the saddest things when he died over 10 years ago was that I couldn’t pick up the phone and call him when I saw something interesting but not all that important (like a pretty bird or a wild animal) or if I heard a funny joke. He and I had that kind of relationship - my Mom and I just don’t. He’d have people print out funny memes for him - although they weren’t called memes way back then, and he’d hang them up at his business. I think he would have been just as interested in meme culture as kids these days and would have enjoyed receiving many pics/texts/gifs a day from me, especially if they involved his grandkids, who were about 6 and 8 when he died.
I know all the texts can be overwhelming and some people really need to put down their phones and experience the real world, but one of these days, you won’t be there to hear about all the big and little things going on in her life, and she’ll be really sad.
Now that I’ve had this epiphany, I’ll have to stop complaining to my oldest when she sends me those dumb Instagram filter pics (the ones with the animal ears and sparkles and rainbows).
Guilt trip, eh?
Tell her that you’re setting some limits and let her deal with her feelings. She will survive. You love her and want the best for her, so here’s what you’re going to do. Stop answering texts; in fact you should turn off notifications from her so that they don’t constantly buzz you and then just read them once or twice a day.
People carp about helicopter parents but this sounds like the inverse. Part of going abroad, heck a large part from what people tell me, is the growth you get from learning to handle unfamiliar situations. Growth isn’t always fun or easy but don’t cheat her out of this opportunity by being there on an electronic tether.
That’s the thing. I am not a helicopter parent AT ALL. I think that sometimes my D wishes I were. She sees her friends’ mothers constantly in touch with their daughters and thinks it’s a good thing. I guess the grass is always greener.
Despite my lack of helicoptering, both of my kids turned out amazing.
When my own kid moved overseas, we had a whole lot of contact like that, mostly in the middle of the night.
Now I wish I heard more often. It’s like the baby years, when you are annoyed your child is awake for the 10th time that night, but later on, you wish you would have just appreciated the snuggling.
Was jealous reading your post. 
My D’s live together in an apt in NYC. They are 28 and 23. One is pursuing her MBA, the other is a first year art teacher. We live in a nearby suburb. The texts and calls began at 5:45 am. My phone is on silent, so I don’t need to respond, but my youngest D texts each morning to say she is getting ready for work. (Waking at 5:15 am was a major life adjustment and I wanted to wake and see she was up.) By 7am more texts from her about a student she saw on the train. Then a 7:40 am phone call while she is waiting for a train and has confirmed I’m up–now she’s telling me about a snafu with her school budget. Next, her older sister calls at about 8:30 am to discuss a date the prior evening.
Throughout the day I probably get 2 to 3 more phone calls and many, many quick texts from each D. They are busy, independent and have many friends.
I love my life!
This was very helpful. Thank you.
Count your blessings that your child wants to share her experiences with you.
Agree with post #39. Would like to add Salzburg to the list.
With respect to your issue: Just don’t pay the phone bill.
If it is interfering with your life then I would not be as accessible, but I love hearing from my kids and they don’t text/call me as often as they used to.
OP: Is part of your concern that your daughter is texting when she should be experiencing Europe ?
This was a concern that I had with those who are tied to a camera when in Europe. Put the darn thing down & enjoy the sights & the experience & the people.
My daughter is graduating in May. I’m getting all kinds of questions she could just look up herself (‘what is my bank routing number’) and other push/pull behavior.
@twoinanddone , our daughter was the same way. She graduated last May, and it is amazing how much she has learned in the school of life since then. She moved into a shared apartment in September and I worried because she and her housemates seemed a little lax with the utility bills. Well, they forgot to pay their propane bill and had no heat for three days, so guess who is religious about paying it now?
My daughter is also studying abroad in Europe (Budapest). I went with her, spent the weekend, moved her into an apartment, and did some sightseeing and then flew home three days later. One roomie moved in immediately, the other a couple of days later. Her texting was annoying that first week, constant and almost scary, it was almost like she was afraid to make a move without my opinion or input. She knows I’m not tied to my phone and I’m not great about picking up or returning texts until its convenient for me (unless its really important) so the constant contact was out of character.
After about a week, I straight out said “you can text me all day long but I’m busy and I’ll get back to you at lunch or over my morning coffee but I’m not at your beck and call”. She seemed a little hurt but I made sure to IMessage her in the mornings and say hello and ask what was up.
I’m happy to say after that first week its been a complete turnaround. This is the girl who didn’t make friends the whole first semester at school and wasn’t really happy until spring break freshman year. She has already made tons of friends and sounds so happy. She has truly seen a good portion of Budapest itself, did a 4-day weekend to Krakow with a group of 8 and put together a trip for 6 of them this weekend to Vienna. I had to text her this morning and ask for pictures and an update LOL. She has obviously found others with the same goals to travel and see as much as they can in their short time there.
So, as is often in life, its feast or famine. I hope your D finds her way and her tribe and can enjoy her time abroad. Its a fine line between supporting them and being their lifeline.
@NEPatsGirl Thanks so much for this! I didn’t go with my D to get her settled. She flew over there with a classmate who is also studying in the same city. Your approach was perfect, telling her she could text you “all day long,” but that you’d get back to her when you get back to her. I should have done that. I just told her to be more judicious in her texting and calling. She was hurt, as I knew she would be, but the texts and calls have actually slowed down. I also told her I prefer email since it’s less disruptive.
I wouldn’t be surprised if our daughters crossed paths!
D1 was miserable the first month study abroad in Australia. She was there with her best friend, but was not blending with the local students. She often called and cried. It was very difficult for me because there wasn’t much I could do other than just listened. After a month, things just clicked. She said it was the best experience she ever had. She is still friends with many Australian friends she met over there.
She was so lonely at one point that we sat up a video chat with her at dinner time so she could have dinner with us.
use whatsapp… free calls texts and video calls… enjoy…