<p>Sorry, Cardinal Fang, I think it depends on where you live - if public transportation is reliable, then sure, don’t drive or move somewhere that has good public transportation. Live here, gotta drive. My mother got her license when I was in high school (because she got tired of asking for a ride). Got a car. Just needed it for tooling around town (if there was a major trip or out of town trip her kids drove her as she got older). But depends on where you live. There are school children who wait hours in the cold for unreliable public bus transportation in the city of Detroit…drive or live in poverty here in Detroit.</p>
<p>Mom wasn’t the best driver either, but she was a real careful driver. We still have lots of elderly drivers on the road here in Michigan as well - just let them tool along in the right lane and drive around them.</p>
<p>Cardinal, what do you propose people who live in areas with no buses do? I agree with you people who cannot learn to drive well shouldn’t drive, but I am at a loss for what people in metro-Detroit are supposed to do. Unless you are fabulously wealthy and can afford a chauffeur, you are completely unemployable without a drivers license. You can’t bike 20 miles in the snow to get to work. I have a friend that tried to do it because he couldn’t afford the car, wouldn’t you know it he got fired when he showed up for work covered in ice. It’d be nice to be able to just get a job somewhere with an apartment complex in walking distance, but it’s Michigan, you have to take whatever job you can get if you want to work.</p>
<p>And even if you decide to just live in a great metro area with awesome public transport, someday your job can get transfered or you might want to get married to someone who wants to move or has to for work, people find themselves living in places that aren’t their first choice all the time.</p>
<p>Also in the Bay Area, and I do know of a wonderful, patient, professional driving instructor who takes into account different people’s learning styles. Private message me if you want his information. We used three different driving instructors with D1. He was the third. He basically has the parents sit in the back (silently) for at least one, 2-hour lesson, in order to have you understand his approach. I have been very impressed with his ability to work with a variety of personal styles, and people whom I’ve referred have similarly been pleased with results. (I get no benefit from referring, btw, so no conflict.) In D1s case, I am a too cautious but safe driver (my work involves a lot of driving) and my husband is an aggressive but safe driver (no moving violations), but how confusing to witness and drive with these two parents for practice. Yes, we still did have to put in the practice hours, but we were able to do it more consistently. It also helps to have a calm and rational instructor. It was worth the money! P.S. Even if she goes to school out-of-state, it helps to be able to drive if you live in California (unless you are in S.F. or parts of the East Bay). The rest of the state seems very car-centric!</p>
<p>Yes emaheevul07 - COMPLETELY unemployable in metro Detroit. The cost of car insurance here is worthy of another post but yes you gotta drive or you need to move from the Detroit area.</p>
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<p>This is utter claptrap. People keep saying it, but it is nonsense everywhere. There are plenty of people who live where you live and don’t drive. And the more you pretend that everyone drives and there is no transportation problem, the more trouble you cause for people who can’t drive: the elderly, younger teenagers, the disabled. And the more trouble you cause for the victims of the people who shouldn’t drive.</p>
<p>I was just discussing this issue with friends the other day as it seems we know several young people who have no desire to drive or obtain their driver license. I guess it all depends upon where you live and whether mass transit is a viable option. In our area, driving is a must.</p>
<p>DD had always looked forward to driving, and obtained her driver permit the day she turned 15. In order to prepare her for independent driving, DH and I made DD drive everywhere we went during that year, whether it was to the grocery store or to the next state to visit family. The excitement quickly wore off for her and she grew bored of driving, but we made her continue driving everywhere we went. After a year of of that, DH and I felt confident that DD was well-prepared to get her driver license. It was very freeing for DH and I as we’d spent many hours driving DD back and forth to school, swim team, work, and social engagements. </p>
<p>Obviously, you do not want an ill-prepared driver on the road, but practice makes perfect. I encourage you to have her practice, practice, practice! You said she gets nervous and you practically have to pry her fingers from the steering wheel. Is it possible the person with whom she is practicing is making her nervous? As scary as it may be at times, it’s really important to be supportive and point out the good things a new driver is doing as well as those things that need improvement. Good luck to your daughter!</p>
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<p>I thought you already knew what I was going to say: ride bikes. Hire a driver. Live close to work so you can walk. Pay for a carpool. Ride your bike. What do people who can’t drive do?</p>
<p>It’s an interesting fact that one of the cities with the best year-round cadre of cyclists is cold, snowy Minneapolis, and another is gray, rainy Portland, and of course Amsterdam and Copenhagen don’t have clement weather either, so don’t talk to me about weather.</p>
<p>I didn’t read all of this but I thought I would add that I didn’t learn to drive until I was 29 and had to in order to relocate to another job. I was lucky that my job put me up in a hotel while I had driving lessons. I was terrible an really clueless of basics like where the car was sitting on the road in the lane. I couldn’t tell where the beginning of the car was. I really can’t give any reference on why this was. One of the techniques my instructor used, after I had quite a few lessons, was to take longer trips so at some point some lessening of tension kicks in. I was a terrible driver for years but at least I learned to be a defensive driver and all the things you learn formally from an instructor rather from a friend or parent. I’m fine now.</p>
<p>I just think your daughter needs a lot more practice than the usual person. Probably she needs a really good instructor. I’d keep working on it. She won’t be driving at college, but she can keep practicing on breaks.</p>
<p>Detroit is not commutable by bike. It is suburban sprawl and freeway. You are completely non employable Cardinal Fang, and if you don’t believe me how do you think that the city of Detroit is going bankrupt? The jobs are in the suburbs and the residents of Detroit are essentially stuck in Detroit. The mass transit will all of sudden stop because cities have the option to not participate - so your bus might not connect to the next transit system to get you to your job. How can someone who works barely minimum wage hire a driver? Bet dime to a dollar that Minneapolis has better mass transportation than Detroit. What you are saying is the claptrap since you want to toss stones here. Just saying not every metropolitan area is commuter friendly. Yeah we’ve been trying to get a true regional public transportation system going here for at least 30 years. It ain’t happening. Don’t come to Detroit if you are a’scared of the driving here.</p>
<p>People who can’t drive in Detroit live in poverty. That’s what they do.</p>
<p>I haven’t read this entire thread, OP, but here’s what happened at our house. My D wasn’t eager to get a learner’s permit, but got it anyway. She invested a few hundred $ into private driving lessons. Took 1 of the 6 she bought (we went in 50/50). She drove a few times with me, and a couple of times with her grandmother. She gave up. Told me driving just wasn’t for her. I didn’t push her. I didn’t learn to drive until I was in my 20s because my own family never had a car. It’s 9 years since she had her first driving lesson. She left So Cal and lives in NYC for the last 8 years. No need for a car. When she visits here her friends are all drivers and she rides with them, or rides a bike, or walks. She’s even been known to use the lousy public transportation we have here. She gets by. She did mention recently that she might like to learn to drive, because she thinks it’s “important”. I support the notion. Now that she’s older and more mature she might make a good driver. Maybe your D is like mine?</p>
<p>besides, it’s not the so called ‘bad’ drivers, that are the problem, it’s the ‘distracted’ drivers that are more of an issue. I’d take my chances on the road with a hesitant, careful driver any day.</p>
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<p>I wonder if she would consider seeing a counselor about the nervousness. The fact that she has experience officiating suggests that she can manage or overcome nervousness. Perhaps a counselor could help her understand and overcome the nervousness connected with driving.</p>
<p>I was almost 20 when I got my license (home on leave from the military). Still not a fan of driving but gotta drive or me and the kid starve. Perfectly ok for the kid to wait to drive but eventually I think she’ll need to.</p>
<p>Driving is definitely a necessary life skill. She may at some time be in a situation where she needs to be a driver.</p>
<p>That being said, two of my sons live in DC. My 25 year old recently commented that he thinks it has been over two years since he touched the steering wheel of a car. He doesn’t have a car, nor do any of his friends; and while ZipCar is ubiquitous, he hasn’t needed to use it. He has the Metro; he has two feet; and when he needs it (rarely), he can take a taxi…all for a lot less than a car would cost. H and I have decided we are going to get him behind the wheel of our car the next time we are in DC.</p>
<p>My daughter was an absolutely atrocious driver when she started last year. Twice, she made left-hand turns directly in front of an oncoming vehicle (luckily, the drivers of those vehicles were quick enough to prevent the accident). After that, we went back to basics. Many hours in large, empty parking lots. Avoided all busy intersections, etc. Once she mastered the basics, we introduced her to the freeway. Took her to an area where she could get on the freeway at a quiet onramp and drive for long stretches with no exits. It took about six months of constant practice before she was ready to take her test. Passed her test on the first try and now she drives anywhere and everywhere. Santa Monica, Hollywood, downtown LA, you name it. It’s possible!</p>
<p>The kind of overly cautious driver we’re talking about here is probably not typically the kind of bad driver who kills others. That kind of bad driver thinks he’s a good driver.</p>
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<p>What about <a href=“https://www.detroitmi.gov/DepartmentsandAgencies/DetroitDepartmentofTransportation/BusSchedules.aspx[/url]”>https://www.detroitmi.gov/DepartmentsandAgencies/DetroitDepartmentofTransportation/BusSchedules.aspx</a> ?</p>
<p>ucbalumnus, that presumes that the bus ever shows up or is driveable. The buses are in disrepair, the bus drivers are physically attacked regularly. The bus might not show up so children that depend on the bus to get to school show up several hours late and then have to fight truancy charges. I live here and was born here. The metro area is not easily commutable without a car and driving skills.</p>