Why not go in the other direction? If you have to dress conservatively, why not cover everything? That makes just as much sense. (Read: none at all.)
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Because there are customers like many posters on this thread who will judge them and employers don’t want that.
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Private sector can do what they want, expect what they want their employees to wear. Govt jobs? Govt schools?
<<< Why not go in the other direction? If you have to dress conservatively, why not cover everything? That makes just as much sense. (Read: none at all.)>>>
If someone has that notion, then go for it. I think we already have some religious groups that do that. Not my thing, but if they want to do that, it’s their business.
We have had such discussions about clothing-related societal norms here in the Cafe. 
I think the OP would be more interested in how the other parents handle the subject with their grown kids rather than in a lively debate of the above mentioned topic.
Completely agree with @Consolation - barely there clothes are not expression of individualism; they are the product of marketing by places such as Forever 21.
Perfect answer to OP’s question. Thread over. 
What, no outrage at this?
What about fat women? Ugly women? General agreement I gather that old women shouldn’t feel free to dress scantily, lest someone see their less than Victoria’s Secret-worthy body.
Obviously no one wants to buy what THEY are selling.
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think the OP would be more interested in how the other parents handle the subject with their grown kids rather than in a lively debate of the above mentioned topic.
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I think that many parents of adult women just say nothing, or if the attire just goes way too far (too much butt cheeks, way too much cleavage in a nonbeach setting), they might quietly and respectfully suggest that they wear something else…or share this link http://www.shape.com/celebrities/celebrity-photos/b-cs-cleavage-getting-it-right
I have 4 daughters (and 3 sons). I’ve noticed that my 15yo D doesn’t know how to sit in her running shorts. Sprawling on the couch–YIKES! I’ve talked to her several times about it. (Can’t wear them to school–against the dress code.)
Had a few conflicts years ago with oldest D about appropriate dress for church. “Do you really want all the men in the congregation looking at your butt as you walk up the aisle in your mini skirt and heels?”
I think a lot of the younger teenagers are just following fashion and are not necessarily trying to be “sexy.” As someone already said, they buy what is being sold.
Magnetron–I’m glad you are not creepy. My H–his eyes are drawn to scantily clad women. I guess he IS creepy.
My D will be the one in the long shorts/modest top.
Dress for the role you want to play. You may wish that people would not make assumptions about others by looking at their appearance. That wish will never come true. This could be as simple as guessing someone is wealthy by noticing her purse or shoes. Or thinking a girl must be sexually experienced/available because she is dressed like a hooker. Both assumptions may be wrong, but you cannot stop others from making them.
(And when I say “dressed like a hooker”–no offense to sex workers who choose to be sex workers and others who like that type of clothing–most of you know what I mean, don’t you? Why is that??)
It’s fascinating how much people want young women to change their behavior, but assume men can’t.
Gauging a woman’s sexual experience and availability by the way she dresses is disgusting. And it’s high time the phrase “dressed like a hooker” was eliminated from our collective vocabulary.
I guess we’re not too far from those burka wearing countries, after all…
Oh, come on. Would you really be okay with the way the HS student I knew dressed for school back in 1970? I mean, her nipples were clearly visible. Not just shadows.
Now, at the time I didn’t make any assumptions about her sexuality. I was too flabbergasted and embarrassed. I tried not to look at her at all, if possible.
I did make some assumptions about her common sense, or lack thereof, though.
Do people really reject the fact that clothing is a social signifier, no matter what society one belongs to? Isn’t it just kind of an inescapable fact?
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"Do you really want all the men in the congregation looking at your butt as you walk up the aisle in your mini skirt and heels?">>>>>>
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Pervy old men at church are as good a reason as any for not forcing religion down the throats of children. If this is how it rolls at your religious institution, I can’t imagine why you would ever go there. The overbearing theocracy in my state is why shoulders are banned. You need a better reason than this to convince young women to dress the way you think is suitable.
I guess I just find it hard to believe that bra straps signal “skank society.”
At what age does it become “pervy” for a man to look at body parts that a woman is clearly and deliberately displaying? At what age is it “pervy” for a woman to admire a man? Is there some kind of automatic age differential in play?
When an older male cousin and a HS friend of his did the same back in the early 70’s, the HS friend’s strict religious father overheard, notified my cousin’s parents, and proceeded to punish him harshly(corporal punishment was still acceptable among multi-generationed Americans in that part of the US at the time) for speaking disrespectfully about others…especially women/girls and spreading malicious gossip.
My older cousin got off lightly in comparison…received a heated lengthy lecture about disrespectful talk and gossipy behavior before being grounded for a semester and garnishment of allowance and all wages from his after school job. The religious father of the cousins HS classmate felt my aunt/uncle were “too soft” and coddling with their punishment.
Let’s just say both never repeated that pattern of behavior again and are now teaching the same values to their now adolescent/teen kids.
And in my old former working-class NYC neighborhood of my childhood in the '80s, such behavior would have resulted in the offender being roughed up by peers/older boys before being tossed into the nearest trash can/dumpster with full approval from most fathers to send the message that talking disrespectfully about others and spreading malicious gossip is unacceptable*.
Also, the machismo culture of my old neighborhood was such that the idea that others have to alter their behaviors to cater to one’s own lack of self-control would have not only been considered absurd, but considered a form of coddling.
It’s similar to ideas expressed by some parents here on CC about how boys can’t be expected to sit still in classrooms for hours on end which sounded very odd to me considering that was precisely the minimal expectation of the Catholic elementary schools I attended.
And there were disciplinary consequences for failing to do so up to and including expulsion as I experienced firsthand from my first Catholic school in the '80s…and a decade before…teachers/principals were also availed the option of enforcing even minor behavioral slipups such as talking out of turn with a hard rap on the palms/knuckles with hard wooden rulers or even a paddling at the principal’s office.
- This wasn't due to enlightened attitudes as a large part of this was a form of reinforcing gender norms that males weren't supposed to spread malicious gossip, period.
Disagree as IMO…the 20 year old has the same standing in this regard as a 26 year old as both are over the age of majority(18) and thus, responsible for their own decisions.
At that point, unless the parent is asked or it’s an occasion which involves family events or a workplace event where the parent works and his/her adult child’s choices will reflect negatively on the parent professionally…best to keep one’s opinions to oneself.
FYI, it’s legal for women to be in public topless in NYC for the last few decades.
When local cops do attempt to arrest and prosecute topless women, they’ve often found the laws not only do not back them up, but also end up getting talked to for costing the city money in legal settlements because they acted without any legal grounds in making those arrests.
Some if this is clearly reductio ad absurdam.
You don’t like it. Okay.
And, big Ummm, I think some if this is about class. You don’t want your daughter associated with “those people.”
Am I wrong in remembering only a few of us held out for better clothing choices on that other thread? If I’m missing someone, apologies, but I remember PG and I standing up for some sense of appropriate dinner wear (guests at a nice restaurant) after a college visit.
Difference then? Keywords: college visit. Is this about class?
IMO, men or women looking at someone attractive (whether the person, hair, outfit, etc.) is fine. Leering, overt staring, comments, noises, and gestures cross the line in to pervy. You all are really splitting hairs in order to argue ridiculous points.
Also, I would guess that most people get tattoos because they mean something to them. I would also guess that not every woman is wearing short skirts or shorts or cropped tops to attract leerng men.i
What’s considered “appropriate” and “classy” is not only widely variable depending on cultural/regional socialization, but also on other factors such as whether the business demand for a restaurant regarding itself as high-class or aspiring to such status is sufficient to turn away customers who didn’t comply with their “classy” dress code…but otherwise complied with local/state health ordinances of minimal dress.
One example IME was how the Russian Tea Room which was known for its formal dress code not too long before had no issues accepting me in t-shirt and shorts or Jackie Mason in a more casual get up(open flowing rumpled shirt) as customers on a hot summer day.
Then again, their business was such that it seems even they realized it wasn’t a good idea to turn away paying customers on account of their superficial appearances/fashion choices. Sometimes, economics is a far more important consideration than maintaining appearances…
20 is an adult, for most intents and purposes, so I would leave well enough alone. On the side discussions, I have a difficult time believing the women I’ve seen walking in sub 30F weather in very short dresses or short shorts and tank tops and no jacket did so because that’s what’s most comfortable.