Different people have different temperature tolerances.
For instance, one friend from Maine is so used to the cold winters there she didn’t think anything of wearing short sleeved shirts or shorts while visiting me and some other friends in NYC on a snowy January day. It was ~20 F that day and I needed to wear a full winter getup.
It’s also the same reason why some colleagues/friends continue to sweat with the corporate office A/C being run on full blast in the middle of summer while other colleagues feel the need to put on thick woolen sweaters and even bring portable heaters to keep from freezing.
Forcing some, especially those who tend to overheat more easily to wear cumbersome clothing because of the prevailing stereotype one gender have no self-control is IMO unconscionable…and a grave insult to both genders…
If anyone told me i needed to wear thick pants/full winterwear in the middle of summer outdoors because someone else may be offended, I’d tell them to get lost on the FDR Drive/BQE/West Side Highway…and rightfully so.
I understand that everyone has different attitudes and cultural norms and standards that they were raised with that affect peoples’ opinions . I think that’s fine and most comments are very conversational and non-judgmental. If you were raised in a strict home and don’t like to see cheeks hanging out, I understand that.
I was very strict with my girls in junior high and high school, and I have strong feelings about the sexualization of kids, but I wouldn’t be judgmental of kids (or parents) dressed in ways I didn’t approve. I shopped in the same stores and realized how ubiquitous those styles are. TBH, I didn’t allow my girls to wear leggings or shorts or dresses that were remotely short. They were usually fine with that, but wanted shorts a little shorter than bermudas, which were hard to find an in-between. I lost the battle on leggings in high school, and now I wonder why I was quite so strict.
They are in college now, and they have a pair or 2 of shorts and skirts that are pretty short. They are totally covered, but pretty short. They are very bright, serious girls who never dated in high school, and still barely date. Just too busy and involved. Are they suddenly “selling something” and thinking “Don’t cha think I’m sexy” because they bought a pair of short shorts like all their friends? If they want to look like every other 18-22 year old out there and follow the trends are they skanks? Maybe they are ok, but the girl with the butt cheek showing is definitely a slut?
One daughter occasionally has a bit of clean, colored lace strap visible with a top that totally covers everything, the other only did that at dance class. Is the daughter with the bit of strap more of a skank than the other daughter?
I understand different values and standards, but I can’t agree with attributing motives and moral judgments on people because of a fashion trend or a poor fashion choice.
I’m sorry I don’t know how to quote or tag someone and make their name in blue, but roethlisburger, why do you
think the women were wearing short dresses or shorts and tanks on cold days? I just wonder specifically what you think.
Maybe they were outside for a brief time and weren’t cold? Maybe they forgot a coat or as mentioned above were from a colder clime? Maybe they had on a semi-formal dress but didn’t own a formal coat or cape? Maybe they had danced all night or waitressed all evening and were overheated? Would those be acceptable reasons to forgo the proper outer wear?
Do you make assumptions when young men skip a coat or wear shorts?
Putting @ in front of someone’s name, tags them. When I see a young guy out dressed in beach wear in sub-freezing temperatures for any extended period of time, I assume they’re drunk and/or on drugs. Perhaps to avoid being sexist, I should make that assumption about women as well? No, they weren’t wearing what I would call semi-formal(think club attire). Contrary, to what @cobrat says, people’s comfort temperature doesn’t vary that much. If you’re outside in 20F weather and wearing shorts and a t-shirt, you can get frost bite, even if you spent your entire life in Maine.
If you dress like a prostitute, why would it be a surprise when men of all ages stare at you, and think you may be one? Why would someone think they have the right to demand respect, when they are dressing in a way that shows everything? It’s funny to me, when women think they can both dress like complete sleazes, showing everything, yet demand that they must be showed respect and people should not stare at them…as if there is something wrong with the people who stare. If men dress in a way that show it all, women will stare at them also.
You can’t have it both ways. Yeah, sure, it’s just, “different temperature tolerances”. That’s just funny.
I am so glad that I don’t have girls, though I suspect mine would be more brainy and motivated, as opposed to showing off their private parts in public.
I’m tempted to buy some open-neck tops if it makes people so irrationally angry to see a bra strap.
Amazingly, these are often the same people complaining about what ~snowflakes~ everyone else is. Yet they swoon at the sight of a bare shoulder or thigh. :-/
If you saw a young woman dressed in very short shorts and a skimpy tank top with her bralette straps showing engaging young children with special needs in a fun, happy activity or pushing her grandma in a wheelchair and gently talking to her and enjoying her…would you be focusing in on her actions - or the fact that her shorts are too short?
Just be careful of your priorities and judgements. Make sure that your young people have need/occasion to go places where they have to think about what is appropriate (church, volunteer opportunities, nice dinner out, etc.) - instead of just friend hanging out time all the time. It’s one thing to tell them how you feel - that you don’t love the look - it’s another thing to demand or degrade them for their choice of clothing - based just on the clothing itself.
Good point. And dressing appropriately and showing respect for yourself is definitely a matter of opinion. It doesn’t mean wearing a burka, but there are few situations (besides the beach or a strip bar) where one should be showing everything. We’ve had this conversation before. If you’re not in a porn video, I really don’t need to know what you look like naked. And if you want to show it all anyways, it’s certainly your prerogative, but I (and everybody else) have to right to think you look like a sleaze.
To emphasize, in case anyone didn’t catch what I said…wear what you want. But you can’t control what people will think of you. Dress how you wish to be perceived.
And the statement below, is a rather uninformed thing to say. I said nothing about bra straps, nor open-neck tops, nor the sight of a bare shoulder or thigh. I’m talking about some of the things I’ve seen that border on the gross, so why would you make an assumption that I was talking about something trivial?
Because all you said was that you have no respect for people who fit your arbitrary categories of “sleazy” and “like a prostitute,” then said that anyone to whom the topic of this thread applies is dumb and unmotivated. Excepting, of course, your imaginary female offspring, who would no doubt be perfect and geniuses to boot.
No specifics, just a whole lot of unfounded judgments. If you mean a certain subsection of the topic, say so. But the original post was about short shorts and bra straps.
You have no idea of what my categories of “sleazy” and “like a prostitute” is. Someone would have to be showing a whole lot to fit into that category, in my book. And then I said that, “anyone to whom the topic of this thread applies is dumb and unmotivated.” Umm…what are you talking about? Because I said, " I am so glad that I don’t have girls, though I suspect mine would be more brainy and motivated, as opposed to showing off their private parts in public ?" I imagine that my girls would have been much like my boys. They are smart and motivated, and I have no reason to believe my girls would have been any different.
When you don’t actually know what someone is talking about, specifically, why not ask questions, instead of making random assumptions?
Honestly, @busdriver11, I made the same assumptions based on your comments - the assumption that your comments applied to the topic of the thread - young women wearing short shorts and showing bra straps - what the discussion has been about here.
I also read your comment as saying that being brainy and motivated and wearing revealing clothing is mutually exclusive which it isn’t by any means.
These threads take twists and turns, and sometimes assumptions are incorrect. If you have questions, ask. It’s not a matter of “coaxing”, just ask. That’s kind of how most of these threads go. I’m dying to hear what “ridiculous claims” I’ve made.
You claim that people don’t deserve respect if they dress in a way you, personally, do not like. You are offended by the notion that people you don’t approve of deserve respect. You call them stupid and unmotivated because they don’t meet your standards of modesty, then throw in some random ego-massaging in the form of speculation about kids you don’t have (???) who would be SO much more deserving of respect than these other actual human beings.
Every single word of that post is absolutely ridiculous.
And to use your own logic – you can post about things that aren’t the current topic of conversation all you want, but you can’t control how other people read the post. Say things how you want them to be perceived. So if you’re talking about being literally naked in public, that might be a prudent thing to mention.
Generally people attempt to signal a topic change in advance.
I think you extrapolated an awful lot out of a couple of posts, bodangles. You obviously have some sort of issues going on. I don’t think I can argue with such rage. Good luck to you.
Honestly, it’s too late for this strict Mom to deal with comments calling people prostitutes and sleazes. My brainy, motivated girls might wear fairly short shorts in summer, but one daughter had a 1580 on the SAT and a 36 on the ACT (both exams one sitting), and my other precious girl won the highest Jesuit student award at her high school. (This is something I never mentioned to anybody but 1 or 2 family members, but above comments make me feel compelled to do so) Women all over the intelligence spectrum might want to feel pretty or sexy for an event, which does not make them a prostitute. I might not agree with a prostitute’s life choices, but I haven’t walked in his or her shoes, like Scout’s Dad recommends in To Kill a Mockingbird. Pretty sure prostitutes can be brainy and motivated. They probably want a way out of that lifestyle.
I teach my girls to try and not be judgmental, and they are teaching me to be more and more of a feminist the older I get. They learned to not stare at a very young age.
