<p>Thanks for sharing that, Emaheevul.</p>
<p>m3:</p>
<p>You can’t have a tug of war if you let go of the rope.
You are in the midst of a tug of war with your daughter…
Consider letting go. Right now you are holding on verrrrry tight.</p>
<p>What is a realistic goal concerning a relationship with your daughter?
Would you like her to feel comfortable in your house? Would you like to support her going to school? </p>
<p>What if you started off with a clean slate? Right now you are holding on to wanting to make her apologize. Do you want to be 10 years down the road with no apology and no relationship?
It depends on the incident. Maybe that would be the right thing like Emaheevul said.</p>
<p>However, if you started with that clean slate and told your daughter things like:
“I know Boyfriend is going back to college soon…if you need any help moving let us know.”
or
“We got a statement saying that your overdraft protection is gone from your account…is that because your savings account is below the minimum? Maybe it is time we transfer that money from your custodial account into your checking account.”</p>
<p>Also stop saying things like “did you thank your boyfriends parents” and criticizing things like that. Be supportive and say things like “We are so proud of you for finishing your AA! Would you like to go out for a celebration dinner with the whole family? You pick the restaurant.”</p>
<p>If you want your daughter to interact with you, you have to make the interactions pleasant so you can rebuild the trust.</p>
<p>M3-I saw in another thread that D’s living situation has changed somewhat. Thinking of you and hoping that all works out for the best. You obviously care very much for your D.</p>
<p>bopper… daughter is back at home. She is in school and we are doing what needs to be done for her to finish so she could go out on her own. I have a different thought process than I did months ago and by that I mean she is free to move out whenever she feels the need. I am not her doormat anymore and I expect to be treated with the respect if she lives here. If she can not show respect than she is free to go.</p>
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<p>Ah M-3, nice to meet you! :D</p>
<p>Someday, in a little while, you’ll be the new Northstarmom and Aibarr, giving hope and emotional freedom to many here!</p>
<p>Good luck. I’m glad to hear you doing so well.</p>
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<p>Huzzah!!!</p>
<p>Agreed. Nice to know the new momma-three</p>
<p>Well done, you’re probably not at the finish line but you are steaming along on the marathon!</p>
<p>It really is a day at a time, and again thanks to some very supportive folks here, and some outside help, I finally had an epiphany.</p>