<p>Best of luck for you momma-three. Take the day and focus on you and your health. Getting out of the house will probably be a good thing. When I am home and anxious I can drive myself nuts!</p>
<p>Momma-three, more hugs and if you find a good fix for the migraine, please share.</p>
<p>Missypie, I remember you saying that you too have migraines This was by far the worst I have ever had and it is still lingering. I think I will ask the doc about imitrex again. I used it years ago, and it was the best because it does not cause rebound headaches as does the fiorinal or over the counter stuff. I just want to make sure my blood pressure isn’t going through the roof because I have too much living to do…I did’nt survive cancer to get a stroke.</p>
<p>I am so sorry for your stress and heartache, Momma-three.</p>
<p>I always wonder when I read the description of your daughter if she is using marijuana or LSD, both of which can make people do the bailing out (out of nowhere) thing. If it is just a mental health thing alone, or a combination, well in any case it is certainly an enormous challenge.</p>
<p>I do not agree that she should be out of school, as school is pro-health unless the very stress of it is too much for her (which it doesn’t sound like is the case). If school stress outweighs its “tracking” value, then maybe a leave of absence would be a good thing. What she would be doing with her free time may be worse than going to classes, so that also needs to be considered. </p>
<p>I do think that based on her behavior she should be required to take regular drug tests done at random times by a commercial entity whose business is to do these things (LSD will not show up, I believe, except in a hair test). Her financial support should be contingent upon it - non-negotiable. It could be a worthwhile investment for her health, if you don’t do it already. At least you will know what she is taking, if anything. Can’t remember if you do this – apologies if you have already talked about it and I missed it. With her erratic behavior this request is not unreasonable. Companies random drug test people all the time. You have a third party do it to remove yourself from the line of fire. If she comes up positive on anything not prescribed by her doctor, then you can choose if you want to keep paying for her lifestyle or stop.</p>
<p>Even when dealing with a loved one who has purely mental health issues (it is a rare young adult whose mental health issues do not also involve some dabbling in mood altering substances), loving detachment is critical. You never do for them what they can do for themselves (but you do help them do what they cannot). Accept the things you cannot change. Have the courage to change what you can. Pray for the wisdom to know the difference.</p>
<p>The best thing you can do is to take care of yourself – you and your husband. Your daughter is not, based on what I know so far, in a critical health situation. If she fails all of her classes she will be fine. If she fails out of college she will be fine. If she zig zags through the next five or seven years of her life, banging into things to and fro, she will probably still be fine. It is you I am more worried about. </p>
<p>The biggest thing you can do to help her is to take care of yourself. She needs you around, and she might (might – no guarantees) benefit from seeing you detach lovingly and find serenity about all of this (which you will guard religiously). If she benefits from it or not, you do it for yourself.</p>
<p>Thank God she came back and finished those classes. So happy to hear that.</p>
<p>On the subject of migraines, I have had incredible success with botox. My migraines were debilitating and botox got rid of almost all of them, so now they are just a nuisance. But, be sure to get them from a doctor who administers botox for migraines not just cosmetic reasons. Also, it has an added advantage that the only side effect is losing some wrinkles.</p>
<p>hmmm… botox sounds like it could be interesting…I could get rid of some of those fine lines and use the migraines as my primary reason. I will ask the doc about that today.</p>
<p>Isn’t Botox about $300 (or more) out of pocket (non-reimburseable, even if for migraines)? Not that my horrible health insurance ever pays much anyway.</p>
<p>The FDA just approved the use of botox for migraines, so the insurance situation should get better.</p>
<p>Spidey…I would be shocked if she ever took LSD and yes in fact she has been drug tested but not recently. I think I am just coming to the realization that she is on medication for depression and ADHD but I am not even sure she has depression. I think her poor behavior caused her to have a depressed period but she was always functional and certainly always driving us nuts. I think she suffers from… I don’t want to grow up complex. I think that everytime one of these episodes occur I get myself all crazy and than I ask myself if it was effective…NO its not. I need to just step back and let the chips fall where they will and let her pay the price for what she chooses not to do. Maybe than she will find her real path. She is a great worker however it may not be at a job that requires a degree…time will tell. I have been posting for about two years about my daughter and here she is in her third year. My hair is getting gray (thank goodness for dye jobs) and my husband is bald. My daughter is functioning albeit not the way someone should) but the bottom line is she will probably graduate next year and I will have been posting for three years about her craziness. This kid just needs to grow up and I need to stop allowing her to do this to us. She will have a great weekend and I still have a lingering migraine…I am the crazy one here for letting her do this to me and my hubby.</p>
<p>The worst of the times are behind us with her and at least I don’t feel like her life is in danger. Now I just need to accept that she can be flakey.</p>
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<p>HOw is she going to graduate while on a leave of absence?</p>
<p>Or have you decided that you’ll pay for school next semster?</p>
<p>momma-three, I was thinking of your D as I read this thread and thought it might be helpful to you to know that your D is not alone:</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1051849-i-want-take-some-time-off-but.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1051849-i-want-take-some-time-off-but.html</a></p>
<p>I’m glad to hear that she did submit her work and am hoping you can all come to an amicable resolution in time for the holidays. Wishing you peace of mind and better health…</p>
<p>Gosh I hope the professors take the work. It’s not that late, so they probably will, which will, of course, teach her nothing, but will at least mean you didn’t waste your money.</p>
<p>This one is a headache, literally, and I really hope you and your husband will take a trip to somewhere nice and spend some time together without your cell phones, just the two of you, doing whatever it is you love to do most. I’m sure you had some “when the kids are out of the house” plans when they were very little.</p>
<p>Even if you just try to remember that list together and take some small steps in that direction, it might put some joy back in your life. </p>
<p>Thank god that’s over, for now. ;)</p>
<p>babyontheway…My daughter paid for her winter class and the tuition for next semester was already paid. She will be paying half of that tuition back to us since this recent stunt. She needs more skin in the game. I have suggested the leave of absence more times than I could even remember. She just won’t do it. Believe it or not her grades at the CC were excellent and until I see these grades I will not call for a refund on next semester. If she bombed I am getting the money back and she could take out the loans. Remember this is the same kid who threw our tuition dollars away at her private LAC. We are tired of seeing the money for school being wasted because she hates books.</p>
<p>poetgirl…I am dreaming of Hawaii right now…but alas the house will have four kids in it tonight. I miss those days Hawaii in the summer, skiing in the winter, and mid year excursions to where ever. Those were the pre kid days…I would never trade one minute but right now Hawaii looks pretty damn nice. A little decompression would do our hearts some good. I just keep saying to myself there has to be light at the end of this tunnel…light where the heck are you!!!</p>
<p>I hope they take that work too…it was a day late. She will not tell me because she has her weekend planned and that is all that she could think about right now. If she tells me it was not taken than she knows I would freak out that she was going. I am still amazed that she could think this is so important when she blew off probably straight A’s.</p>
<p>I am dreaming of Hawaii for you.</p>
<p>I am envisioning you looking for the trip you want and booking it for you and your H as a gift. </p>
<p>Get out the chore chart, and assign tasks immediately. Take it easy.</p>
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<p>My son was in a project class this semester and he was the only student that handed in all of the labs on time. The vast majority didn’t even hand in half the labs due. This class is part of a two-course sequence required for graduation. There are other students that didn’t turn in a lot of papers either. One other student needs to pass this course to graduate and he handed in fewer than half the labs. So it will be interesting to see if he does graduate in January. I think that there are professors out there that will take stuff in a little bit late, especially if the classes are upper-level and small.</p>
<p>I think that the lecture-hall and otherwise large lower-level courses are more likely to enforce deadlines as the professors have to process much larger volumes of students.</p>
<p>My doctor recently prescribed me Maxalt (instead of Imitrex.) I’ve only taken it twice now and it takes a little while to kick in, but then the headache is really gone – not lingering, but gone. The only thing is that the next morning I feel a little bit off my game – a little spacey. But I am very, very sensitive to almost all medications as far as side effects go.</p>
<p>My daughter is away now for the weekend and my other two sons came home from school. It is so nice to have them home and also to have a repreive from my daughters drama. My daughters text message to us when she got there was “I am here. Leave me alone. Goodbye.” This is her attitude everytime her boyfriend is around.</p>
<p>^^^^wouldn’t it be nice if as parents, we had no filters? A reply message such as “Dad and I are leaving for Hawaii, be back January 2…leave us alone. Goodbye” might drive home the point.</p>
<p>aww I would love to do that collegeshopping. I would actually like to add "Dad and I are leaving for Hawaii…I tried getting in touch with you to tell you where the keys for the house were left but you did’nt respond. Don’t try to reach us because this is our vacation and we have the cell phones off. Goodbye.</p>