day care costs?

Parent Cafe
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<p>Does anybody know what day care costs? I’m thinking the type in someone’s house, not a center.</p>

<p>My SIL has a baby but her babysitter is a little unreliable. For example, she didn’t manage to not get out of jury duty last month, which is quite easy to do when you are your own baby’s caretaker. Her baby was sick one day, she had to go a WIC appointment another day. Now she is going to FL (good old unemployment at work!). My SIL has a job where apparently you need over a month’s notice to take off and says there are 3 days she can’t take off and can I watch the baby.</p>

<p>I wouldn’t mind, but this baby is a pain in the butt. She is 9 months old, very heavy (100th percentile or more!). She has such separation anxiety(spoiled) and cries and whines unless you hold her. Last time I had to go to a friend’s house with her because my friend has a 2.5 year old who distracted her enough for it to be ok. I can’t do that every time. </p>

<p>I told her I could do one of the days and that there was something I wanted to do on the other two (there really is!) I told her I thought the daddy and grandparents should have a role in this as well and that it shouldn’t fall on her to do it all. (her mom in out of state, and she says his works-- I say take vacation granny–my mom would have!)</p>

<p>Sorry for this rant. Any ideas on daycare costs in NJ?</p>

<p>SIL does not earn enough to pay for “real” day care and the baby’s daddy has not been reliably employed. He recently got a job which should be good, but I don’t know if he is contributing to expenses or not. She couldn’t explain where his $ went when he was getting unemployment. (they live together, but the relationship is very very rocky). She gets upset when she talks about their situation.</p>

<p>Somehow it all falls on her, and she has the daughter of her friend watching the baby. I’m just getting tired of “Cindy can’t watch the baby on XXX can you PLEASE. I’ll pay you.” Like I’m going to take her $ when she can barely pay her bills. (partly because she makes bad $ decisions )My SIL should use HER vacation time, and the baby’s daddy (when he gets it–new job). With a real day care she could coordinate vacation days.
I still can’t believe that if she calls in sick it gets written up, so she does’t like to do it. </p>

<p>I want to tell her she needs to get reliable day care. The kind who doesn’t take off without telling you way in advance. So, I was wondering what it costs. She is paying only $25/day I think (lady is on unemployment or WIC or something and has her own 2 yr old to watch)</p>

<p>I know I should be nice and helpful since I am more fortunate, but for how long? Until the kid goes to school?</p>

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<p>Home daycare where we are costs about $50/day. It amazes me that someone only charges $25/day! I guess you get what you pay for because this woman is clearly unreliable.</p>

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<p>Crazy what it costs isn’t it? </p>

<p>She earns approx 40k/yr which might sound good except she has a 1000 mortgage, condo fee, car pay’t, car insurance of 2000+, and drives 50 miles each way to work (GAS $$!). Add in utilities, food, diapers, formula…How do people pay over $200/wk for daycare? </p>

<p>I wonder what she could get on public assistance if she didn’t work? She’d have way less gas cost, lower insurance (due to lower milage) no daycare costs…It pains me to even consider that as a reasonable option. Why ever did she have a baby?that’s a whole other discussion, but she was 37 and thought she couldn’t (cause she never had) then she did…</p>

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<p>bookmarked</p>

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<p>Wow I think $50 a day is cheap, I paid $200 per week for 4 days part time 19 years ago…</p>

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<p>I work at a preschool housed in the same building as a daycare program. For infants at our center, the cost is $200/week. Prices change in the fall at the beginning of new school years so it will likely go up. So if you divide that out, it’s $40 a day which is a bargain considering the center is open from 7a.m.-6p.m. </p>

<p>Keeping a baby all day is hard work. I wouldn’t do it for a penny less than $50/day and prob would require more. I know we all did it when we had babies but believe me, it’s different when it’s your own kid.
Think about it…a 50 mile commute means the mother will be gone at least ten hours/day. At $50/day, that’s only $5/hr…not even close to minimum wage. Your child is the most precious thing in your life. I wouldn’t go cheap on the person who’s basically gonna raise my baby.</p>

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<p>Quality day care is expensive, but it is so important to the life of the child. I am pretty confident on what you are saying, this baby has not been exposed to day in and day out quality care. I am a half full kind of person, and have an incredibly soft spot in my heart for children that have been born into situations that they have no control over. So for me I would jump at the opportunity to be able to make the difference in the life of a child. BUT that is me, and everyone’s tolerance for children are different. Again, if this were me…I would do what I could to help this person. This baby is “heavy” more than likely because she is being fed too much in lieu of her true needs being met. So much easier to stick a bottle in the mouth than to read a book, go for walk, play patty-cake, etc. Why should a two year old be made to distract a baby. Why not engage the baby? Baby’s are like a lump a clay, they will mold into what is given to them. We sit here on college confidential and talk about test scores, SAT prep, GPA and EC, but the truth is, it starts here…at babyhood. This is where the elite are separated from the pack. And it doesn’t take money. It takes time from loving adults that are willing to put a child before themselves.</p>

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<p>This is really going to be a hard question to answer because costs vary wildly around the country. I have friends in our old town that do daycare and the “expensive” ones (in-home) charge $3/hour so for an 8 hour day, that’s $24 and they are REALLY good at what they do. Here, same state, several hours away from other town, going rate is $6.50/hour (in-home). Has your SIL looked into getting child care assistance from the state? There are programs to help but not sure what income guidelines would be.</p>

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<p>Brilliant post collegeshopping. </p>

<p>To the OP, I can’t imagine only paying $25 a day for child care. This is an incredible bargain. What your SIL needs is another backup option besides you. From what you have written, she has not done this and this is the area where she needs to focus. Maybe you know a college student who is in school part time or home for the summer who’d like the extra work. Or a retired person who would enjoy occasionally babysitting and earning a bit of money.</p>

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<p>Here’s info about state subsidizes for NJ childcare. By the way, even tho you think $40K is low, that’s pretty standard around here & our rents are MUCH higher than $1K/month, plus all the other standard expenses you listed & food is also MUCH higher here. Doesn’t really matter how much child care is where we live, it matters what it is where the CHILD lives–as well as the quality of care. Poor quality creates a lot of problems in the future.</p>

<p>[Department</a> of Human Services | State Subsidies for Child Care](<a href=“http://www.state.nj.us/humanservices/dfd/programs/child/subsidies/]Department”>http://www.state.nj.us/humanservices/dfd/programs/child/subsidies/)</p>

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<p>Just an FYI…this is NOT true in the state in which <em>I</em> reside. I actually was ON a jury when my younger child was an infant. Believe me, if I could have been excused, I would have been. Luckily I had GOOD reliable day care for my kid while I served this jury duty. AND no…they didn’t give TWO HOOTS that I was my own child’s caretaker.</p>

<p>Day care where we live can easily be $200 a week.</p>

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<p>Yes I think it is about $200 a week here too, and that is at a center, not a private caregiver.
I also don’t believe you can “spoil” a baby. What are they, sour milk?</p>

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<p>When I used this website, [Honolulu</a> Child Care - Care.com](<a href=“THE Top 10 Child Care Providers in Honolulu, HI”>THE Top 10 Child Care Providers in Honolulu, HI), for our area, the price ranges between $10 or 15 to $25 PER HOUR. There is only one lister for $5/hour.</p>

<p>Getting $25/day does sound quite low to me as well. That’s much lower than we paid for our kids to go to preschool for only 3 hours in the eary 1990s.</p>

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<p>I think she is spoiled because her mother is always in sight. Mom does not want her to cry. At some point they do need to self-soothe. My SIL is a great mom as far as love and attention to the baby. I think that because she is gone so much, and because she is unhappy about some of her situation the baby has become the only thing right in her world.</p>

<p>Luckily, (or not) the babysitter is close to her work, so the baby is not at the sitter the entire time, though a car ride is not exactly a good thing either.</p>

<p>She also has about $200 in storage costs. That is one of her mistakes. Sell the stuff and save the storage fees! I guess she dreams of the day she has a place big enough for whatever’s in there. She did once have a house, but that relationship broke up and the expenses were too high for a single person.</p>

<p>200/week is 10k/year, or is my math wrong? That is 1/4 of the income, gone! Ouch. It helps me see why some people are on assistance because a minimum wage job could never ever cover it.</p>

<p>thumper1, I got out of it when my kids were in grade school. There was nobody to watch them and if there was, who was paying? It would be a financial hardship which would get you out at a lot of places, wouldn’t it? She might not have thought to say that.</p>

<p>The $25 is under the table, so I guess it equals like…$32 or so, plus she is on unemployment and/or WIC so she is happy to be getting anything extra. It wasn’t something she did before and she doesn’t watch other kids. I can see licensed daycares costing more. $200/wk. ouch ouch ouch</p>

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<p>My kids cried whenever I was out of sight from the time they were about 6 months until they turned 2 years old. It was because I was home with them. I did not consider them “spoiled” but knew they were difficult for others to watch and we rarely ever left them.</p>

<p>Yes, child care IS expensive, especially if it’s QUALITY childcare. That’s only the beginning. Schooling can be even more, depending on where the child goes, as well as care before and after school. Having a kid is a major decision, especially how said kid will be raised and schooled. It DOES take resources to do it well–money, time, and other tangibles and intangibles.</p>

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<p>Just popping in to say that how anyone gets out of jury duty some time ago might not be relevant when discussing today. The rules about getting out of jury duty not only vary from state to state, but they also change from time to time.</p>

<p>I’m in NJ and I was able to get out of jury duty when my children were little. But doing so required proactive action on my part. It is possible that the babysitter failed to be proactive in the first place and so was unable to get out of jury duty due to poor planning on her part. Based on the OP, I think that this may be the case. </p>

<p>Can you encourage your SIL to look to others as possible fill in babysitters? Even if her current sitter becomes suddenly reliable, life happens. If she or her child get sick (and everyone gets sick sometime), then she can’t possibly watch another child. If she has a family emergency (God forbid - but they happen), then she won’t be available. My point is that many things can get in the way of even a reliable arrangement. </p>

<p>Your SIL may think that you are agreeable to be her plan B and you will need to make it clear to her that you can’t be her plan B. Then help her to brainstorm some ideas on how to find other sitters when emergencies arise.</p>

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<p>Agree that it can vary widely as to whether or not people can or cannot be excused from jury duty. It can even vary by JUDGE!</p>

<p>Back in the day, I remember one judge telling the entire jury pool that he did not even excuse his wife from serving, so that if he made her serve, he would make EVERYONE serve, absent a VERY compelling reason.</p>

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<p>Both Turbo kids attended day care centers, beginning in '92. Here in the Midwest in a large city (suburb) the cost back then was $125/week for the older one and $135-140 for the younger one ('97). In both cases the tuition did not change as they got older (the perpetual infant syndrome as I call it). These days tuition for infants is well over $200/week. Had a friend who paid $200/week in the 90’s in Ann Arbor and another in the New England area. I can’t even begin to think what it costs now :)</p>

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<p>A quick search online for northern NJ found the average cost for infant care in a center was $233 per week (2010 dolllars)</p>

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<p>I think it is becoming pretty clear to you that quality day care DOES cost more than your SIL can afford. Maybe she kind find another person in the same price range that is more reliable, but maybe not… Options she could consider:</p>

<ul>
<li>Finding a new job that has shift work that is offset with the baby’s dad’s hours so he could watch the baby more.</li>
<li>If the baby’s dad is drifting in and out of the picture, she could consider moving close to her mom for more immediate family support.</li>
<li>Can she find a higher paying job? The job market has picked up in a lot of places, she might have some luck at this if she has any marketable skills (I don’t think you have said what she does).</li>
<li>Find out when the baby’s dad WILL have some sick and vacation time available. Set a limit on what you will do. For example, “I am willing to watch the baby 2 days per month for six months until <babydaddy> is able to take more time off. I need at least a week’s notice, and reserve the right to say no without a guilt trip from you if I have other plans. After that, you need to make other arrangements.” Or, “after that I will do this one day per month”. Once they start school it is better… you should encourage her to check out school options that have before/after school childcare options at the school, though, so she has a reliable option there.<br></babydaddy></li>
<li>If you exchange gifts at Xmas now, your babysitting certainly could be her gift going forward!</li>
<li>Sounds like this baby needs as many responsible adults in her life as possible. Try not to see her as a “pain in the butt”. She is a baby/toddler… they ALL are a pain sometimes. You were. I was. EVERYONE was. Maybe get some toys, books, and kids music cds to engage her at your house more, and plan some places you can go with her (library story hours, playground, etc.). The other adults in her life are so frazzled, you would be doing this baby a great service to give her a couple of days of month of high quality day care with healthy food and an adult who really pays attention to her. Read to her, teach her things, talk to her. Yeah, they are a hassle sometimes, but you can give her back at the end of the day! And it sounds like you might be the best adult in her life sometimes… you could be one of the best things that ever happened to her. </li>
<li>By the way, my oldest was a “gotta be held” kid. She has turned out to be an extreme people-person – she just wanted human contact even then. She wasn’t spoiled, she was just born that way. Younger child never wanted to be held, and is a much more introverted person now that she is older. So take that into account.</li>
</ul>