<p>Shrinkrap- Thanks for the encouragement.</p>
<p>That said, D came home yesterday from musical practice and mentioned that someone with a speaking role just up and quit because she “wasn’t getting anything out of it”. D had to bust her *** to even get into the chorus (and got cut altogether freshman year), so it galls me that kids like this just sort of throw it away. This has happened numerous times in different activities, kids quit because they don’t like their role, they are on JV instead of Varsity (and they are sophomores), they just don’t want to put the effort in, etc. Of course there is no penalty for this, those are the same kids who get picked the next time around, thus the “diva” syndrome is alive and well. Interesting, in my own H.S. experience, the only 2 cases of anyone quitting an activity/sport that I knew of were due to extreme family situations/hardship cases and neither student wanted to quit, they just didn’t have a choice. What a difference!</p>
<p>curiouser - that’s exactly the case with our daughters. Before every major performance, I could always count on some sort of drama around the house. When they were younger, there used to be a lot of tears. They have also become very philosophical of getting parts. When our D2 was younger, she would always be marking it behind older girls, always hoping if someone couldn’t perform, she could just step right into it.</p>
<p>Dance training has taught our girls to be humble when they are on top of the world and to be able to handle disappointments in life. That being said, our older daughter was still caught off guard by the college process.</p>
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<p>I appreciate your sentiments, but it’s hard to imagine how hard work got you elected homecoming queen. Was there some sort of merit involved? At our HS it’s a bit of popularity, tempered by lots of voter indifference. </p>
<p>It’s very difficult when there’s really not a lesson to be learned from the disappointing experience - where harder work would have been meaningless. In 8th grade, one of my Ds ran for some office. All the girls voted for my D and all the boys voted the boy running against her, there were more boys than girls, so D lost the election. That really doesn’t teach the student anything except that 8th graders can be idiots.</p>
<p>Anything involving student elections can have similar results, with merit ignored. It would be easy to just blow off that sort of thing, but our students are told that what really matters in their ECs are the *leadership *positions.</p>
<p>My father always told me ( and I passed it on to my kids) that failure is the great test in life. It’s easy to succeed, but what separates the sheep from the goats is how you cope with the "pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again " part.</p>
<p>That’s what my H tells young singers - screw ups are inevitable, it’s how you get through the rest of the piece after the screw up is what matters.</p>
<p>"Anything involving student elections can have similar results, with merit ignored. "</p>
<p>However, the same thing happens in elections in which adults run including public office elections. Popularity is important. If people don’t like a person who’s running for office, no matter how strong the person’s skills are, they aren’t likely to be elected.</p>
<p>A big lesson that one learns from running for student office is the importance of personally connecting with people to get them to support you.</p>
<p>I guess the lesson is not to run for any office if you can’t deal with irrational results - boys only voting for boys, freshmen voting only for freshmen. But you’re right, adults vote along gender, ethnic, party lines all the time, without regard to the other qualities of the candidate.</p>
<p>Mayawati, who is trying to be prime minister in India, is campaigning as a Dalit; according to what I was reading in the Economist, she really doesn’t have any ideas or a clear platform - she’s just assuming all the other Dalits will vote for her.</p>
<p>The Homecoming thing was actually voted on merit, “the person who had done the most for the school” but anyway you’re right Missypie, there is tremendous irrational results to the student, or coaching or teacher voting process as there are in the college selection process!!! </p>
<p>I am most grateful to the down to earth experiences shared on CC b/c I think we were really prepared for the results to run the gamut. Consequently there were not any real surprises, disappointments, yes but we were prepared and had good plan B’s in place. On the other hand, I saw many parents shocked with their child’s disappointing results. Their kids were totally qualified but just too many applicants.</p>
<p>One of my kids recently had big disappointment. It was not until 4th day that I wasn’t thinking about it 24/7. My child probably thought about it for 12 hours…I obsessed for 48…but silently at least…I do know enough to keep my thoughts to myself.</p>
<p>that’s how this forum has helped so much, because you can obsess with this group and get support, but keep it to yourself at the same time.</p>
<p>Shawbridge-Awesome for your kids to overcome such obstacles !(and for the parents that supported them)</p>
<p>"…but what separates the sheep from the goats is how you cope with the “pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again " part…”</p>
<p>I’ve not heard that before… which one are the sheep?.. sorry …</p>
<p>I think we’re mixing New Testament parables with American musical theatre.</p>
<p>My d has a friend who did not get accepted to IVEYs so is doing Gap year. I guess she feels anything else is not suitable, and her advantage will be better next year. I guess it is good to know what you want, but I can’t help wondering why.</p>
<p>Sorry, Shrinkrap; mixed heritage = mixed metaphores. But it’s a good question. I suppose it’s like the elephants and the donkeys…</p>