<p>“Or as was suggested earlier, just mention the safeties, maybe the matches, and leave out the reaches. Problem solved.”</p>
<p>That’s what my son did. Many times people ask “So what are your plans? Where do you want to go? Where are you applying?” They are not going to hold it against you later, if you didn’t give them an <em>exact and comprehensive</em> list of each and every university you are considering.</p>
<p>"Any suggestions on what suggestions I might make to DS to keep things to himself? He really doesn;t think he needs to “hide” stuff but I want him to find ways to make him different than the others when it comes time to putting things on their applications. "</p>
<p>N.B. It’s the mom, not the S who wants the S not to tell others about where he’s applying.</p>
<p>As long as the S is himself on his apps, he will be different from others since, of course, he is unique as is the case with everyone else. When my S was a senior, I invited his friends over to work on their essays. I helped each figure out what was unique about themselves, and then think of ways to highlight in their essays their special qualities and experiences.</p>
<p>As for the idea that students shouldn’t tell their friends about where they applied because they may get rejections: If you can’t tell your friends about disappointments, who can you tell? A true friend is someone who supports you and believes in you and whom you can tell the truth about yourself including about disappointments and failures, not just when you have successes.</p>
<p>As others have stated, colleges don’t have school quotas so don’t worry. My kids’ small private non-elite day school graduated ~ 90 students last spring and FOUR are going to Middlebury! 2 are going to Amherst, 2 to WUSL, plus a Yale, Princeton, Haverford, Williams, Mt Holyoke etc. Now they all weren’t Vals, they were just good bright kids and it showed. The other students won’t affect your son.</p>
<p>Well, I have lightly read thru these 5 screens…I absolutely love #16, doubleplay’s comments about doing what will feel right for your soul… </p>
<p>in our town, we too had a small group who thrived with one another in class and their friendship and their smarts fed off one another with ultimately great results. Not necessarily the ones everyone wanted going into the app process… but, certainly tremendous considering the applicant pool of 160 kids in the class… 2 to Amherst, 1 Bates, 2 Cornell, 1 Dartmouth, 1 Middlebury, 1 Princeton, 1 Williams, 1 Yale…and another 1 to Yale and 1 to West Point … those are just the ones in the class off the top of my head…BUT I do remember being very open (both my child and my hubby and I) during the process… </p>
<p>Over time, I think I realized that it is hard to resist dropping names of schools… that kids and parents tend to almost “traffic” in name dropping and it is a huge challenge to not succumb to the pressure. I would encourage your son to be helpful and cooperative…and to have a “pat” response when asked… “I have a couple reaches, matches, safeties, and I am working hard at managing all the to-do’s that go along with a full list” sort of response… </p>
<p>I wish we had insight earlier into when to take the PSAT…when to take some of the Subject SATII’s and how to have a well thought out plan for
SAT II’s and AP exams… it can all peak if left to senior year… having the advantage of someone’s experience with testing and scholarships etc is helpful, because it broadens what one may consider doing also… </p>
<p>One of my son’s friends served as the catalyst for the 2 boys taking a math class at a local college at the end of Junior year… and I was very appreciative of the openness of the other family… we all shared in the driving and it turned out to be a helpful step up in course work. I would hate to think of each family doing all that driving on their own… seems foolish to be so wary… </p>
<p>that is just my perspective…</p>