I have an associate’s degree from a local community college in Biology. I love life sciences and want to study ecology to work for the DNR. My problem is I feel like I ruined everything good I had going. I got into Purdue for a program I really loved, it was being fully paid for by the state, and I even found a cheap apartment that would be completely covered by my refunds from the school. I had a really bad breakup about 3 months before I was supposed to move down, so when I finally did, I felt terrible. I cried for hours and hours every day and could barely maintain my composure long enough to work my shifts at the job I transferred to. Then I saw my course load and completely freaked. I dropped out and told my parents I was moving back home. Broke my lease and left all that behind. Now I’m here dealing with the consequences of my hasty decision. I’m currently going to community college for IT, and I realize I absolutely hate it and can’t see myself ever doing it professionally, so I don’t think I should keep wasting my time when I can just start going for what I actually want. I want to transfer to a local private college that offers an ecology bachelor’s, but the idea of taking out so much in loans has me so scared. What if I fail? I’m terrible at studying and barely made it through my associates with a high enough GPA to maintain my scholarships. I cheated and took shortcuts just to make sure I could afford to keep going under my scholarships, and now I am sitting here feeling so unprepared for what I need to do. I don’t even know if it’s worth trying and racking up the debt. If I fail, the debt will have been for nothing, and I still won’t be any closer to what I want to do, but working in conservation is the only thing I feel truly passionate about. I also need to work because I have to pay for housing and don’t want to take out extra money. Going to school full-time and working sounds like it just might be too much for me. I have terrible study habits because I didn’t really need to study for high school, and really bad ADHD(I’m being medicated for it, but studying is still next to impossible for me; I feel I can take notes for hours and retain almost nothing). I am also older than most college students, as I will be almost 25 by the time I can start at the private college, and while that doesn’t mean much of anything, it still worries me that I will stand out for being older.
The only thing I’m really proud of is that I got through calculus at my community college with an A and barely studying aside from mainly doing the homework and watching a couple of videos when I was stuck.
I suppose I’m mainly looking for advice from people who know more than me or are at least a little better off mentally than I am. I don’t want to give up again. This would be my third time dropping out just because I’m too scared to fail.
As it should. How do you define large ? You can only take out $5500 in year one and $27k over four years.
Even if your parents take out Patebt Plus loans, they can take just $20k a year but only up to $65k total.
And what about grad school ?
Affordability ALWAYS matters because large loans can strangle a student financially - for life - taking away all future decisions. More importantly - you targeted one employer - one declining by the way.
It’s a tough field. What is your budget without loans?
You could get a job at Starbucks and they’d cover your tuition at Arizona State - online.
Thoughts ?
Biological Sciences – Conservation Biology and Ecology (BS)
Start date: 01/12/2026
Description
Are you passionate about solving environmental and ecological challenges, such as climate change and habitat destruction? Arizona State University’s online Bachelor of Science in biological sciences with a concentration in conservation biology and ecology prepares you to find solutions to complex threats to Earth’s living organisms and ecosystems. Embrace a new era of biology education with innovative technology tools and an adaptive curriculum that puts learning in your hands.
The only college in my area that offers an Ecology degree has a 27k per semester estimated cost of attendance. They say that most of their students get at least 10k in assistance, and I would only have to go for around 2 and a half years to get my degree, assuming all my credits transfer. If I transferred this coming fall, I would be able to use my state scholarship to pay for part of the tuition, which would most likely bring the cost down to around 7k for that whole year, but that’s still around 60k in loans I’d need to take out. Is ASU (online) a good program? I love my current job, but if I can get free schooling, I might have to do that.
You can’t get, not afford $60k. How will you pay that back -over ten years.
If you work at Starbucks, it’s free. You keep the ability to make decisions in your life which you lose with substantial debt.
Free crushes your local school. Arizona State is renowned. Can you get a job at Starbucks is the question and would you be ok with online school?
Good luck.
In my state, you can be admitted to the state university with priority registration and other benefits. Have you looked into financial aid at privates? Check out Colleges that Change Lives ctcl.org. Will Purdue admit you again?
Maybe at the undergrad level don’t limit yourself to ecology? That would open up a lot of possibilities and you could still find a way to focus on it. And do internships, jobs, volunteer to gain experience.
I would find a therapist to help you with emotional situations and making more deliberate decisions with a longer range view. No judgment here- believe me I get it!
Have you ever worked in that type of job?
I was talking to S23 recently because a friend’s son was thinking he wanted to go in that direction. The advice from my son was to apply for a tech job that doesn’t require a degree to make sure it is something you want to do, and to gain experience if you do decide to go back to school for a degree. You will then be able to get better summer jobs, which will pay off when you start applying for jobs that require a degree.
Here is an example of the type of job you can apply for. A GS04 requires an associate’s (or 2 years of study) OR 1 year of experience.
One thing many people do not realize is how physically demanding a tech job can be. My son’s first job required being able to walk up to 10 miles a day with a 40 lb pack. Housing was a trailer without electricity or running water (when they weren’t sleeping on the trail in a tent).
I know you’re feeling time pressure because of your age, but it also seems as if you may need some time to regroup… and it also strikes me that your age-eligibility window for Americorps will be closing too (it’s 18-25 for most of their programs), and getting some real-world experience with one of the Conservation Corps programs might help you get career perspective. (You’d also get paid and I believe you’d get a small scholarship to apply to subsequent education after you finish.)
What do you like and not like about IT? If you have a decent tolerance for computer-based work, you might want to think about combining your interests by studying Geographic Information Systems. That’s a skill-set that can get you into some interesting environmentally-oriented jobs. ASU Online, which is already under discussion, offers a bachelor’s in GIS: Online Geographic Information Science (GIS) Degree | ASU Online There may be affordable programs at your in-state publics too.
Lots of interesting ideas. But for a different approach if the above doesn’t appeal to you. Get more help with the adhd.
Read this How to Become a Straight-A Student Audiobook by Cal Newport How to Become a Straight-A Student Audiobook by Cal Newport
This is a great book to learn about time management and many of the same principles and strategies for Adhd. It’s a quick read but actually do some of the things suggested. Use your phone calender instead of writing it down somewhere. It will all make sense once you read it. Work on you. Maybe restart next year and work this year? Some people take a gap year because they just aren’t ready.
Lots of time people with ADHD think differently. Use that super power to your advantage!
I would have a serious talk with Purdue. Call their disability department and your advisor. Maybe there is a way to get back in but don’t put it off. Flip Wilson would call this “The devil made me do it “(look it up lol).
Also look up different fields by combining your interest than using AI or Google search to see that comes up. How about combining IT with Biology Science and see what jobs /careers come up. Keep doing this till you get a few that sound like something you would want to do than research it.