Anyone feel bad declining a waitlist offer to a higher ranked school after really thinking about pros and cons regarding fit? While appreciating vote of confidence, it just seems waitlist school might be a little too intense for our kid, and more expensive. It’s the right thing to do choosing a good fit over ranking ( and not that big a ranking difference) , but still feels a little sad.
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I think it’s natural to feel sad when declining some schools, regardless of whether they are higher or lower ranked, if the parents or kids fell in love with the school at any point.
Have you seen this thread? The One(s) that Got Away--unchosen colleges that we still love
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It’s the issue with applying to so many And getting many acceptances. Wait list or no, you can only go to one - so it’s hard to choose just one when you can see yourself at several…or many.
Thanks.
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Thanks. I think we go forward with a positive attitude the one they chose is the one.and let the other one go …
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Exactly. I definitely agree that it is wise to choose a good fit over ranking. When this is also more affordable that is even better.
By the way, one daughter did exactly that (choose fit over ranking) for her bachelor’s degree quite a few years ago. She never looked back, got a great education, and in the end it worked out well for her. I expect that choosing fit over ranking will work out well the very large majority of the time for other students also.
And this can be a hard decision.
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Rankings are based on someone else’s opinion of what matters. Fit is based on what matters to you. The latter is what matters.
You can only attend one school, and if you’re lucky, a really good one gets away. That’s the nature of excellent options!
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I’m not much of a rankings person, but in general I think choosing a college can sometimes be the first really stressful example for a kid of how if you choose Path A, then you can’t also choose Path B. It has a type of high-stakes finality for them that really hits home.
But then most kids end up really liking the path they chose. And that becomes the first really big example of how often it is less the choice itself, and more making the most of whatever path we choose, that is the most important thing.
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Congrats on getting an acceptance off the waitlist!!! As hard as it is to say “no” , if it’s too expensive, that’s an easy one. If your kiddo has gotten comfortable with the school where you’ve made the deposit, and perhaps has found a roommate, that’s establishing their relationship at that school and that’s great. Yes, it’s hard to turn down a bonus admission and congratulations to your kiddo. For the acceptance, you should all feel proud. And understandably a little remorseful, but it sounds like their ship has sailed with respect to their commitment to the current school, they have accepted and plan to attend . Enjoy.
Solid reasons for staying with the original choice.
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Sounds like a good decision to me. Move on.
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