Denied Stanford Applicant in Dire Need of Advice for Next Steps on his Journey of Life

Salutations. I know none of you know me, but I have heard from these forums of your successes at receiving admissions into Stanford via freshman admission and transfer. I have set up this discussion to request your opinion(s) on some decisions I will need to make, now that I myself got rejected into freshman admissions, and how I can improve my chances of getting into Stanford, as it was and remains my dream university.

As I previously stated, I did not receive the beloved “acceptance letter” from Stanford University. Instead, the dreadful words of, “I’m sorry to inform you…” were plastered onto my version of the admissions message. For two days, I was in utter dismay, shock, and felt only extreme sadness, to the point of near tears.I began questioning how my credentials, a 4.0 GPA, 33 ACT, what I presumed to be strong extracurriculars (two time varsity football athlete, multiple clubs, National Honors Society, 150+ service hours with local organization to donate supplies to my area’s city schools, which have low funding and many low income families / teachers) and a respectable common app essay detailing my early life struggles with verbal apraxia and living in the streets of Chicago and how it taught me the values of sacrifice and hark work to overcome anything life throws at you was not substantial enough to receive acceptance. Like, what gives? How come my accomplishments weren’t good enough? Unfortunately, I was not aware, and frankly at the time, was not concerned with the other thousands of my counterparts who felt similar emotions upon their rejection from Stanford, a realization I uncovered a week ago after reading beyond the first two sentences of my letter.

Upon finding the College Confidential website for the first time two days ago, locating the thread on Stanford Class of 2020, and seeing the accolades of some Stanford acceptees (some claiming to have 28 ACTs, not being serious about essays, etc.), I can confidently say it both shattered my heart and humbled me in the most earnest of ways. While I initially felt jealously for those “taking my spot”, I grew to accept the circumstances and simply be happy for their success. Additionally, I finally removed my “blinding lenses” (figuratively) to fully acknowledge what the college admissions process truly is: a crapshoot. Everyone, acceptees or denied students alike, possesses unique characteristics within their personal lives, successes, and even failures, that sets them a part from each and every college hopeful. While some universities disclose their desires and criteria behind the complete applicant, you never will know the reasoning behind why the admissions officer who read your application ______ you, or what stuck out to him and her that said, “he/she is a viable candidate and will succeed at X university”! Fully understanding of the process and the complex intricacies that go into accepting prospective students, I felt somewhat better about myself and the slim percentage of applicants who actually received admittance.

However, my ambition for getting into Stanford has not waned in the slightest. In fact, the rejection has driven my desire and love for Stanford to heights I never felt could exceed what I felt before my unpleasant March 25th decision news. I believe the news even stimulated my work ethic and drive to succeed in the classroom beyond my normal capacity, as I pulled off a couple of 100s on my most recent maths (Calc. BC and Stats) and Government tests last week. The decision status I received did not make my decision to go elsewhere easier. Instead, I stubbornly keep my application tab from my web broswer open andI have left my Stanford sweatshirt on for days (stinky, haha), and I almost refuse to put forth any considerations towards my other applications at Notre Dame, Duke, Boston College, Holy Cross, and Penn State.

Finding ways to somehow get into Stanford has not left my mind either. I’m considering to give the admissions office at Stanford a University a call or my sob email to ensure my admissions statement was correct. I’m currently searching community colleges to attend in desperation (as I saw a good number of statements from other College Confidential users saying they received acceptances into Stanford, like yours, via transfer from a CC). I am even attempting to hasten my recovery from an ACL tear suffered during Varsity Football, in the hopes that they miraculously acknowledge I am healthy and offer a scholarship (which Holy Cross and others have). I stubbornly refuse to accept my rejection letter and actively seek out any method for becoming a Stanford Undergraduate, which also led me to this website that I wish I located back in November when I applied.

I admit the last two paragraph was a bit of ranting, with a touch of hubris, but, seriously, I am doing everything in my power to get into my dream school, even if it is excessive and perhaps clingy of myself to do so. So, if I may ask, could you provide any insight or information as to aid my inevitable transfer application? Anything that comes to mind - extracurricular, colleges and specific locations (I have yet to commit to any university yet), recommendations for potential essays, or even advice on a Rudy-esque admissions path yet to be discovered and utilized - ANYTHING. The former serves to prove my desperation!

The rejection itself hurts much less than the feelings of inadequacy and the fear I possess for my chances to receive admission in the future. Per the Stanford Daily, “This year, Stanford offered admission to 33 transfers students from a pool of 1,663 applicants, which netted a transfer acceptance rate of around 1.98 percent”. 1.98 percent, compared to the freshman acceptance rate of ~ 4.7% for this year’s applicant pool, makes me believe all the more that my opportunity to receive admission into Stanford undergrad is “fini”. Yet, I know I will keep trying, each and every year, until my objective is attained. That is partly why I created this discussion - to receive advice on how I can maximize my limited chances of attending school in Palo Alto in the coming years.

I’m sure many of you will inform me, and rightfully so, to just move on, to apply for graduate school at Stanford where they accept much more applicants. But, as the plethora of unedited and probably grammatically-unsound sentences preceding this very one indicates, I am finding it rather difficult to do so, to say the least. I have heard all over the Internet of how veterans and community college students receive the bulk of acceptances from Stanford transfer admissions, and it pushes me farther and farther down the path of just attending my local community college, or even flying out to California to attend one in Stanford’s backyard, as opposed to just choosing from my list of current acceptances and playing my chances there. If there is any information backing this claim, or anyone can provide me the words to unanimously convince my parents that this reality is the best for me, let me know.

Evidently, at this point in time, I am receiving constant badgering from family to just move on, to relinquish my dream school and simply study my desired Engineering-Business Double Majors at other fantastic schools that I received admission in. Yet, I cannot find the “peace of mind” they claim I need nor the will to do so, or at least do so without stunted feelings of pride and accomplishment. From my first days of high school, nervous as any incoming freshman is but filled with intense anticipation for what is to come, to March 25th, I could only envision a bright future, filled with endless and groundbreaking patenting of ideas, realization, and service to the less fortunate and marginalized at Stanford University. If it means working at 1000% capacity to improve each aspect of the multifaceted application and surpass all necessary prerequisites for an applicant, applying for transfer every year, making lifestyle changes, taking a gap year off (which may be hard to convince my parents, but will be done if essential), whatever it takes, for another four full-fledged years or even one and a half semesters at another college if it’s means I can graduate with an undergraduate diploma and an graduate diploma at Stanford (I can already foresee Graduate Admissions Day as the next most stressful day in my life), I will do it, and I will do so with complete enthusiasm for what I perceive to be a better future for myself and for my family.

So, please, lay it all on me. Any criticisms, ideas, insights, tips, etc. will be graciously “accepted” by me. If more information about my personal life is needed for evaluations of decisions, feel free to ask.

I sincerely thank anyone who graciously provided their time to read this manifesto of mine and send any input or guidance my way. I hope you may all have good health, good fortune, tremendous success in your applications (for those still waiting) and a great rest of the evening for anyone inhabiting or is outside of the US Eastern Time Zone!

You know, April 1 has past . . .

But in case you’re serious (which I find hard to believe considering some of the details), do you not have any other goals or desires in life besides attending Stanford?

@PurpleTitan To be quite honest, I believed for the longest of time that all my goals, and opportunities, would come through Stanford. I applied to other schools simply as second options, but for whatever reason now view them as purely inadequate. I guess it’s pretty apparent through this process that I didn’t have much of an end goal. I was way too naive to assume I would just get accepted into Stanford and my life would be set. Now, I just feel regret. Regret because I somehow feel I put forth the greatest effort to get to my dream school, when I know in my heart that I tried my best, and it’s leaking into other parts of my life, making me question why I couldn’t attain that acceptance, if I’m smart enough and so on.

In short, I didn’t have any great goals besides going to Stanford, and now I feel incredibly stupid, to think that I am heralded for being top of my class and intelligent, yet I sound completely dumb in saying that I never set any reasonable objectives besides getting accepted to Stanford.

I guess my major question is how do I approach what I have now and make the most of it, and actually set forth some goals for what I want in my life.

You’re sure right about that: you sound really dumb. Nobody who has done the smallest bit of research would put all their chips on the Stanford square, and have no backup plan. Frankly, from what you have told us, you’re not even Northern Illinois material–let alone Stanford.

Didn’t you learn any life lessons in two years of varsity football? My advice: F Stanford. Drop your fetish with one school. Move on, and find a school that loves you back.

Here’s what you do: you visit the campus(es) you’ve been admitted to. If you can’t visit, you go online and read everything you possibly can about these schools. You research the areas they’re located in, the things you can do on weekends. Reach out to other students accepted to those schools through Facebook or whatever. In other words, you picture yourself there. You get excited. You start thinking about what kind of computer to bring to campus and whether your cell phone will gave good coverage there.

And by the way, Stanford isn’t some nirvana. It’s been said its architecture is Taco Bell-like, and plenty of students admit that Palo Alto is a bore. An expensive bore at that. Right off the bat, I can list ten-fifteen college towns much better than Palo Alto. Your future school may be among them.

Your best hope is to go to a NCAA Division 1 Football school, play lights-out as a defensive end and gain national recognition your freshman year (Pac-10 schools loved defensive ends, as they are the only antidote to the great quarterbacks that populate that conference). Then, transfer your sophomore year.

Now you have the secret. If you think that you cannot do this, then don’t waste any more time on Stanford as all your table-pounding about 1000% effort will get you utterly nowhere. Stanford, like most schools, doesn’t reward effort, but rather accomplishment: the kind of accomplishment they look for in transfers is primarily athletic. Terribly sorry about your ACL, by the way.

@katliamom Thank you. I feel incredibly embarrassed for believing that Stanford would just be the end all, be all, and even more so that I’m on this website begging for others to tell me how I can go forth with my life. At least I can say that once I make the right decision on which college to attend from the remainder that I got, this painful and lonely experience of freshman admissions will be over and I won’t have to go through it ever again.

At least you got into some (all?) of your other schools…you have some good choices, I assume. That’s more than a lot of people can say…

I find it hard to believe that this OP is genuine and serious about all this.

OP, tell us what state you live in, where you got accepted, and what kind FA offer you have at each accepted school. It’s past April 1 now, you should have all this information. I think you’ll find the people here on CC to be very helpful, but they need the information.

@makennacompton I was hoping to actually transfer via academia, but I guess since I already play OLB / DE hybrid I have a supposed better chance for football.

@choirsandstages Ya, those were the only schools I applied to, and it’s almost depressing that I value Stanford so highly as to put off BC or Duke, but such is life.

And, I was chatting with a person via message when the user said this info would be vital for others in understanding my situation ,so here it is

"
Thanks for the criticisms. I know pretty damn well I sound insane for believing Stanford would pull through, but I’m honestly just in a really bad place. My close uncle is facing ALS, my mom is an alcoholic and smoker, and my dad isn’t supportive of me at all. To be at these crossroads with no assistance or guidance, to have to self-study for 5 APs because your teachers don’t care about the class and come up with all of the money for my 5 applications and just dream, and hope that your struggles will be miraculously fixed, just to see them blow up in your face, has been the hardest dilemma I have ever faced.

I really just need some advice on how to go forth from here. I do have other great colleges, like I said, with Boston College giving me around 30k, but with my financial situation being dire, is it even worth pursuing? At this point, I’m probably not fit even for Community college…
"

I am not expecting my parents to contribute to my college expenses (they said they wouldn’t, anyways), which, with my family’s income bracket at around 150k, means I will have to pay for college almost entirely by myself, somehow. I fear this puts me out of reach for many of the schools I got accepted in. That is why I was throwing around the idea of community college, which I’m not against yet makes me feel bad having to choose that route rather than be able to pursue what I currently have on the table.

@NUwildcat92 I moved from Illinois before HS to New York. Holy Cross offered me 40k, BC 30k, Notre Dame ~20k, and Penn State like 10k. However, in my previous statement, I mentioned how I will have little to no financial support from my parents. Therein lies my concern that I can even go to these colleges and leave without being buried in debt.

@Sam998 I know my concern seems almost implausible, but as someone who held Stanford to the highest regard and wrongly believed it was his only shot at “making it big”, it unfortunately paints this unrealistic yet truthful picture of my past couple of years.

RE your comment, “I was hoping to actually transfer via academia” Forget that. There are people who apply as transfers to Stanford who probably have visited, much less found, black holes or already re-engineered Teslas since 5th grade. Your best shot is being an absolutely great athlete . . . at something! Stanford, like the Ivies, LOVES athletes and spreads out the rose petals on a perfumed pathway for them. Stop thinking that studying hard or getting more As or doing “research” (absent a Nobel Prize or Intel award) will matter one tiny iota. It will not. Stop thinking like an Asian and trying harder to check the 4.0 GPA box. It no longer works and no longer matters. Think sports. If you can’t do sports, then give up. Your best financial option looks like Holy Cross – the scholarship, combined with student loans combined with on-campus work and summer earnings will get you through.

So would you have been able to afford Stanford given your family income of 150k but no parental contribution?

If you end up applying to additional colleges as a freshman or transfer, make sure you write like a normal person in your essays. I much preferred the writing style of the commenter who described Stanford’s buildings as Taco Bell-like. That is someone who gets to the point. While each individual sentence is written correctly, the reader really has to be motivated to get through your paragraphs.

Does not seem realistic to me.

I simply don’t understand your unhealthy obsession over Stanford.

Don’t do this; nothing good can come of it and it may well hurt your chances of transferring one day. Seriously: do not do this.

More importantly, fixation on a “dream school” is a fool’s errand. It is, as you say, “a crapshoot” at a certain point. You control some parts of the process, but much of it is beyond your influence. You’re “qualified,” of course, but so are tens of thousands others; Stanford will accept very few, no matter how qualified its applicants may be. In fact, this year, of the Stanford applicants with perfect SAT scores (2400/2400), 69% were not accepted. And the ones who were accepted? They’re qualified too.

Get over yourself a bit. You’re a good applicant who surely got into good schools. Pick one of them and attend. Do not sandbag and go to a community college in the hopes of one day reaching your unrealistic and obsessive dream.

I’m sorry that this experience is a harsh one for you, but it appears to have bee sorely needed and long overdue. Learn from it.

@makennacompton Noted. Thanks for your insight into the colleges aswell. I met in person with the Holy Cross DC prior to my ACL reconstruction surgery, yet he expressed continued interest in me, so I guess that school really is the one that wants me.

@CheddarcheeseMN In hindsight, I wouldn’t. I just haven’t gotten through the phase of accepting that just yet. And apologizes for the disgusting sentences. Rest assured, I had a couple of editors and peer reviews on my college essays for GC’s. The sentences in those essays at least had flow, not like the motionless rivers in my disjointed OP.

@intparent What doesn’t, exactly? My desire to attend Stanford?

With a $150,000 parental income and no assets, Stanford’s net price would have been around $30,000, including expected parental contribution of $25,000 and expected student work contribution of $5,000. If you had been admitted, you would have been financially rejected since your parents will not contribute, since you are not likely to be able to self-fund $30,000 per year while attending college.

https://financialaid.stanford.edu/undergrad/how/calculator/input.html

Really, in your situation, you needed to have built an application list aimed at finding huge merit scholarships:

http://automaticfulltuition.yolasite.com/
http://competitivefulltuition.yolasite.com/
http://nmfscholarships.yolasite.com/ (if National Merit)

If you take a year off school and work to earn some money during that year, you may want to build a new application list from the full ride schools in those lists above (but check to make sure that the scholarships are still there).