<p>Let me back track a bit-My daughter is the one calling her father and I and wanting our opinion, not the other way around. The reason I know of what she and the therapist talk about is my daughter volunteers the information. I don’t ask questions unless I don’t understand what she was trying to say. I am sure there is plenty that my daughter might not be sharing with us, or maybe not. My husband and I are not involved in the therapy per say, more we are here as an outlet for our daughter.</p>
<p>Someone above inquired about medication; she has now been on meds for one week, so it is still early. Also, I have spoken to the therapist a couple of times and have offered to come see her if she felt it was a good idea, either with my daughter or without. My daughter is aware of what I have told the therapist and she knows what the therapist has told me. It was understood that my daughter would let the therapist know if she didn’t want something shared with us, and up to now the therapist hasn’t really said a lot-just listens to me. </p>
<p>ADad-my involvement with my daughter’s therapy will only go as far as my daughter wants. If she calls me for my suggestions, I will give them. If she doesn’t want my advise, I won’t give it. We are a close family and at this time she wants mom and dad on her side. If we can’t be there for her, who will?</p>
<p>mkm56-that is pretty much how we are handling talking with the therapist. I got a nice not from her this weekend telling my husband and I that we were being a very supported family and that was helpful to my daughter. </p>
<p>Yes, my husband and I might be guilty of trying to steer our daughter in the direction we want or the one that we think is best for her. All we want from her right now is to feel better and not make any decision that can not be reversed. Registering for classes and seeing what is available at home allows her to make a clear choice come December. She feels like she can finish the semester, but isn’t sure she will feel better by the end of the semester. My hope is that come December, she might be back closer to her old self and will realize that staying at school next semester is a good idea. If not, well we will have her here at home and will do whatever it takes to get her well and complete school the way she wants. Her feelings today (she isn’t having a good day) is that she needs to attend school without the stress of college life, get her act together, and then head back to campus in the fall. Attending school and living at home is something she sees at the moment as a good possiblilty. Maybe she is right, but we are still going to give it more time.</p>
<p>snowball, sounds like you are doing a great job of walking the line. Both your daughter and therapist know you are there if needed. We are all sending you support! You are all very fortunate to have such a close relationship—it will carry you through.</p>
<p>Hi Snowball, I am really sympathizing with you because a year ago I was in your shoes, only later in the semester. I just want to say that the four weeks of Christmas break made all the difference to my D. She arrived home after finals thin and tired and just worn to a frazzle, but a whole month of TLC at home helped so much. If the meds and counseling continue all this fall and she gets more into the swing of her sorority, and then has that re****l time at home, I think she will want to go back.</p>
<p>I’m with you on not coming home for that next semester. I also think that is not such a great move. For one thing, it puts her back into dependent mode in her parents’ house, not continuing to move forward on her independence.</p>
<p>I thought I would update everyone on my daughter, but I might just end up venting! Three weeks ago my daughter started calling home with some stomach trouble. She was feeling nauseous, stomach pain and was having to run to the bathroom often. I though she would get better in a couple of days, but after 3 days of her in bed, not going to classes, I decided I needed to lay eyes on her. I tried to get her to go to student health, but she said she couldn’t make it even if a friend drove her. My husband and I got to school and she was some better, but she wasn’t good. Our though was to take her home to see a GI specialist as fall break was just a few days away and it didn’t look like she was going to class anyway. Why we were there she started having pains again so we ended up taking her to the ER during the night. My husband is a physician and was sure she didn’t have an appendicitis, but was concerned that maybe her gallbladder was the problem. After hours in the ER, we were able to rule out both of the above and were not looking into a few GI issues. We decided that we would go home the next day and that maybe we could have her well and back to school after fall break.</p>
<p>We were able to get in with our GI doc the next day and it looked like my daughter had an infection of some sort, so she was put on antibiotics and other meds to help heal her gut. Lots of TLC and very bland foods were on order for the week! After two days my daughter felt sicker again, most likely due to the antibiotics. I do love the medicines that are given to make you well, but at the same time make you sick!! Long story short, she is on the rode to recovery and is now able to eat normal foods. Went back to school and made it one day to class before she was sick again. At this point we are wondering if it might be the antidepressant that is giving her so much trouble as this all started after she began the meds. She was due for her appointment with the psychiatrist and it was decided that she should go off of the meds for 3 weeks and see how she does.</p>
<p>She has now been off the meds for a week and while the GI issue is much better, she has been in a bad mood today. The family was just there for parents weekend, so I think she is down due to us leaving. The biggest issue is she still wants to come home next semester. She is sure she needs to take a semester off to clear her head and figure out why she has been unhappy this semester. She now will admit that transferring has been very hard for her; mostly socially. I have been promised that she will go back for her junior year; she just wants to come home and take classes for one semester without dealing with college life. I still don’t think this is a good idea, but I also don’t think forcing her to stay at school when she is unhappy is the answer either. I do not understand how being at home is going to make her want to go back to the same school next fall. It would seem to me that in order to be happier at school, she would need to attend the school. All I hear from her is how she needs a break. Her therapist thinks since she din’t take a break before she transferred to this school, that now would be a good time to take a break. My daughter has met many transfer student that did take a break between two schools and most of these kids are now happy. My child is one that sometimes has trouble thinking for herself, so if a break was good for these students, it must be what she needs!</p>
<p>We are still in the talking stages, but the therapist feels that my daughter has already made up her mind to take the semester off. She has registered for spring classes at her current school and still goes through the motions of staying, but also talks of coming home. We keep trying to put the decision off until winter break, but I feel if I told my daughter today that we welcome her home with open arms that a huge weight would be lifted. She does know that her father and I do no think this is a good idea, but if she is 1000% sure, we will support her. I still have some time for her to realize she should stay where she is; I am keeping my fingers crossed that something wonderful will happen that will make her want to stay.</p>
<p>Sorry for babbling, I am having trouble thinking clearly these day-I wonder why!!</p>
<p>snowball…so good to hear from you. sounds like your daughter has very sensible loving parents and a therapist who has really gotten to know her but that she is going to go about getting her education and steering toward adulthood less linearly than is the idealized mode. </p>
<p>all roads lead…love her and have confidence in her future at all times and help her to find the courage to still take risks and chances, even if she wants to do things at a pace that is hard to understand. I bet she is a great kid and that she will find her way. do keep her seeing a third party to make sure that her depressive symptoms are monitored and you always have another trusted perspective. as she grows up she will assume more and more responsibility for her own personality and temperament but it is hard to be her age and just getting to know yourself. I know it is disappointing to learn that she is giving up on this attempt at a new college home.</p>
<p>here is hoping that new doors open for her and the sun shines brightly in her next chapter of life.
hang in there! She will hit her stride</p>