<p>Nothing college or school related. Just depressed and on top of that personnal and problems at home. What do you do? seek help? Talking to my parent isn’t an option.</p>
<p>Do you think you may have an ongoing problem with clinical depression? Or are you just feeling down and in need of support? Are you currently in college or high school?</p>
<p>Are you in hs or college? Does your school have good counselors? You need to talk to someone. Depression - or just a time of feeling down and overwhelmed - is very common. Sometimes just having a sounding board of someone to talk to can help. A fresh set of eyes can sometimes see a different way of approaching a problem, and even if not, just getting it off your chest and being heard can help.</p>
<p>
Yes, sweetie, this is <em>exactly</em> what you do. And do <em>NOT</em> wait, O.K.? There is absolutely <em>no</em> reason for you to try to handle this on your own or buck it up and pretend that it will go away without intervention (it may be a passing, situational thing, but on the other hand, it may be something that requires some intervention). Seeking help for depression or possible depression is a sign of strength, maturity, and great self-awareness. If there is an adult whom you trust at your school (or another adult in your life) to help you find a good starting place, talk to him/her. If not, please p.m. me…I’ll help you get started. PLEASE do this…you DESERVE to feel healthy and happy.</p>
<p>love, ~berurah</p>
<p>bbecker - Exactly. That is what you do. Seek help. Often the school counselor is a great choice. In any case, speak to someone. You deserve the help and relief you will feel when you get the right help. As berurah said, if you are not sure where to start, PM one of us and we will help you get started.</p>
<p>Please come back and tell us when you have found someone. We care.</p>
<p>I graduated last year in may, I took a gap year and now I applied to colleges and hopefully I’ll be heading there this summer, Im so eager to go right now. I feel down, I dont have the energy to do anything. I have felt like this for a long time now. I dont know what to do, I really do feel overwhelmed and my mom doesnt help at all, She having alot of money problems because she has an injury and she only works a couple hours a day so she isnt making her usual. She has a really good job its just that since shes hurt the company doctor took her off regular work and thing are going down hill fast. No money for car insurance which its illegal not to have in this state and we both need to drive our cars. I’m really scared. She takes alll her stress out of me by yelling, she treats me unfairly. The only person she isnt rude is her boyfriend but she treats me differently. I dont know what to do, I come to my oldest brothers house to get away, I babysit for him to make extra money for gas and stuff and I can talk to him about anything. i left my house at 1 its like 8 now and we went to the movies and I been here ever since and I dont plan on going on going home anytime soon. I’m just tired and stressed and I have no idea where to run or who to talk to anymore. My brothers had the same problem with her but not because of money she was just really mean and rude to them too. when i was younger (their both 7 and 8 years older then me) when she got home from work they would both just leave to get away from her. They dont have the best relationship with my mother now, actually they dont have a relationship at all with her and she doesnt care to have one with her them either. I love my mother and she gives me what i need and more, this is the worse its been EVER! but I dont want to her to slip away from me, I Want a daughter mother relationship but its sooo hard.</p>
<p>I high school counselor was the best! I love her but I dont know if shes willing to talk to a graduate, you know. OR should i just call my insurance company and ask for a doctor to go to?</p>
<p>bbecker~</p>
<p>Do you have your own insurance? Or insurance through your mother? If you are over 18, and it sounds like you are, you most likely don’t have to go through your mother to seek this help. You do, though, need to find out if you need a referral from a primary physician. Do you have the details of your insurance plan?</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>Yeah, I been through it before. I have to have a referral. I went at the beginning of last year when my depression was much much worse. My doctor wrote me a refferal to see a doctor and I got a list from my insurance company of doctors to call and when I did a few of them said that they werent accepting new patients and after a while I stop searching. Honestly I found someone who made things alot better for me, but we’re far apart now and i dont have the support for them that I had before. I actually want help this time because If i honestly dont get find, I dont know whats going to happen to me.</p>
<p>Yeah the insurance is through my mother.</p>
<p>You could give your hs counselor a call and see if she has some recommendations for you. Or maybe your primary can get you in to see someone. They may have new drs on the list who are taking patients - or maybe there is a social worker or counselor, it might not need to be a psychologist.</p>
<p>It sounds like you have some legitimate reasons to feel down. The stress of having a parent who isn’t really capable of parenting well must be overwhelming. It’s good that you have your older brother to talk to, but an outside person may also be able to give you a new perspective or have some options for you that could be helpful.</p>
<p>Good luck, we care!</p>
<p>I definitely agree with dropping in to see, or giving a call to, your high school counselor. I can almost guarantee that she will very much want to help. We have an awesome hs SW and I know she would. She will probably be your best source of a good referral - she knows you personally, she knows which professionals specialize in your age group. You can discuss with her the financial challenges and she may know some who work on a sliding scale.</p>
<p>Good luck again. We really care. Get in touch with her and let us know how things are going.</p>
<p>thank you much for the advice I really needed it. So I’ll call her tomorrow morning and see if she can see me, I live really close to my old school and see what she tells me. I sometimes feel like since I’m older now and I graduated they really dont care since Im not a student or a child at their school. It just feels like college kids should handle things on their own, thats what it feels like when my mother, like shes just pushing me away since im older now and she has no obligations with me.</p>
<p>This world is so screwed up some kids cant talk to their mother and sure cant call up old dad to talk to him either because you just dont know him and you have to pay 60 dollars to find his number online to call him just to see what his voice sounds like and his under the impression that your after money or something, who gives them the right to be parents? at all.</p>
<p>This is why im afraid to have childern, I dont want anyone to ever feel this way. Like they dont belong on earth and cant talk to thier own parent about how they feel.</p>
<p>bbecker:</p>
<p>On top of getting counseling, I would suggest getting a job. Besides making some money, the job would get you out of the house and provide some structure to your days. Being at loose ends while waiting to go to college does not help, and it puts you in the company of your mother in an unproductive way. It does not have to be a full time job, but a few hours a day out of the house would probably help a lot.</p>
<p>College kids don’t handle things on their own; they just get help in different places, such as the counseling centers at their schools. Your high school counselor should be happy to help you. I think your goal should be to try to get set up with a doctor and then go from there. A lot of doctors are full, but you should be able to find someone with openings. Don’t give up on your health.</p>
<p>I have been looking for a job but when they ask me if im going to school i tell them the honest, that i will be going in the summer to florida state so they see it as, i wont be with them long so they dont want to hire me I guess. I’m still looking though.</p>
<p>Aren’t you going at the end of the summer? Plenty of places hire summer help–you’re just looking to start a little earlier. Instead of saying you’re leaving in the summer, tell them that you’re starting college next fall and can work during the summer months (unless that isn’t true, of course).</p>
<p>bbecker:</p>
<p>That is true, but your situation is the same as a student looking for a summer job. You could get a job in your local supermarket, bussing tables, and so on, just like students do in the summer. The point is not so much for you to earn money, though that would be really helpful, but to get you out of the house for a few hours and providing some structure to your day. If that is not possible, what about some volunteer work?</p>
<p>
bbecker~</p>
<p>You are right…that <em>IS</em> screwed up, and it’s certainly not due to anything that you did–you are just receiving the fallout from things that have nothing to do with you. That is one of the reasons why it’s so important that you seek help. When you are dealing with a situation that is warped and twisted and completely out of your control, that is your way of gaining some control over at least the things that you CAN.</p>
<p>I would definitely think you could start with your last year’s h.s. counselor. I’m certain that she’d be happy to point you in the right direction. If for some reason she’s unable to do that, come back to us. We will help you get started.</p>
<p>I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for you. It is not all that common that a person your age has the amount of self-awareness necessary to realize the import of this. I’m <em>really</em> proud of you!</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>Thank you so much berurah.</p>
<p>One thing I am certainly going to change is how I been looking for a job, I been searching online but tomorrow or tuesday I plan on getting up early and going personally places that are hiring.</p>
<p>bbecker~</p>
<p>I wish you much luck in your job search! Please keep us posted! </p>
<p>Also, I did want to comment briefly on this:
I realize that this is probably way off in the future for you, but I do want you to know that you should not fear having children at a future time simply because your birth family was dysfunctional. I, too, came from a very dysfunctional birth family, but I have been very blessed to have been able to raise my children in a very different manner than the way I was raised–and with excellent success. Not only do I have six beautiful children of my own, but I am very fortunate to be a “mom” to many others as well, others who are not related to me biologically, but may as well be for my love for them (and theirs for me). Getting counseling is perhaps <em>the</em> best way to guarantee that the patterns from your past will not be repeated in your future. You sound like a truly wonderful kid, and I’m sure that sometime in the future, you will make a tremendously excellent (and extra-sensitive) parent.</p>
<p>~berurah</p>