<p>Mominva, I respectfully disagree. The mom and grandmom will find reasons to “diss” what we have said, thereby disappointing and confusing Bbecker, and probably starting a big family fight. I think it’s best to leave mom and grandma alone and for Bbecker to have no expectations. Continuing to hope that mom and grandma will respond normally is going to result in a huge disappointment.</p>
<p>VeryHappy,
I agree that mom and grandmom may have disappointing reactions which is why I prefaced with ‘If you think it would help’. </p>
<p>I am not hearing a call, but a cry, for help.
If bbecker needs help today, and sharing these posts can stimulate that, be it a hotline or EMS, then I’m all for it.</p>
<p>Lots of people, especially in the older generations don’t understand that depression needs to be treated and can’y just be snapped out of. You know better, bbecker and are doing the right thing by seeking treatment. When you do start responding to meds and therapy, some kind of part-time work, paid or volunteer, might be quite helpful to your mood. I think you’ll know when you have the energy for this. Keep us posted whenever you feel like it.</p>
<p>My mom is just making it seem like I don’t want to work, But it’s just that the simple things have became so hard to do and that is what I explained to the doctor, that made me realize that there is something wrong. I’ve never had a problem getting up and going. Now It seems to be my struggle. I don’t know if they’ll get it, My mom hardly talks to me but now she wants to find out whats wrong. After my grandmother leaves things are going to get worse for the most part because she’s the reason we even communicate NOW. She is going back to the Dominican Republic on the 24th. My mom of all people should know how I feel, She was on anti-depressants a few months ago but now that I think about it, I think it was just to relax her mood. She might keep nagging me to get up and go or she just might start to understand that this isn’t a “I’m lazy and I can’t sleep because I stay up all night watching tv and on the computer, I dont want to work” phase. I want to feel better, I dont want to feel so sad all the time, I dont want to cry all time. I want to go to college in a couple months healthy and ready to take a course load. I’m ready to get better but I don’t know what’s going on. I hope to get in with the phys. really soon and getting into therapy ASAP. But for now, my battle remains with trying to actually rest more then 2 hours a day and my mothers ignorance.</p>
<p>I thank you for all your help, It’s always good to have friends to talk to. But even better to have adults tell you what they think and feel you should do. It keeps me going, since I dont have it here in person.</p>
<p>Courageous lady, you have many things on your mind but a great thought to keep in mind, that on Monday you can begin (begin! it’s a process) to unravel the knots that are choking you for now. It won’t get fixed in a day, but it can begin. The Chinese say, “All Beginnings Are Hard” but the journey always begins with a first step.</p>
<p>Of all the problems you mentioned, one that sticks in my mind and troubles me on your behalf is that neither you nor your mom has car insurance.
Can you please mention that, early on, to the medical caretakers and social workers when you meet them. </p>
<p>First off, it demonstrates that there’s not enough long-term thinking in your household. I won’t say not enough money, b/c I don’t know. I’m always stunned when people fix their plasma TV’s before they buy legally required insurance, but ok…so I’m stunned.</p>
<p>My concern is that you are about to change your future for the better and I don’t want you or your mom to have an accident that will bring you down financially. I’m not talking about denting the car and choosing not to get it fixed (been there, too). I mean what happens if you or she cause medical injury to another person or yourselves? I want you to have what litle money you’ve scraped together to stay for COLLEGE. </p>
<p>If it were me, I’d front-burner buying some auto insurance, first for you and second for her (brothers should all pitch in, to protect/safeguard their mom, then it won’t be too much, but i know there are brothers and then there are…brothers. Only you know if it’s possible sometime in the next month or so to try to get auto insruances.</p>
<p>One of the big differences between you and her is that you’re beginning to think long-term and plan, rather than day-to-day, since you’ve lined up a college again for the fall! So proud of you!!!</p>
<p>Eventually, you’ll come to understand your mom better, whether or not she comes to understand you quite as well. My mom is 80 and she still talks about where her mom didn’t ever grasp her; it was simply the truth. BUT you can certainly, certainly LOVE her and I hope you do, and she you. As long as you love her there IS a relationship. Someday perhaps you’ll deepen the relationship by adding to your own grasp of who she is and how she’s limited, even if she doesn’t ever change or deepen her “take” on you (but still loves you, of course; you sound loveable).</p>
<p>Moms and grandmas who aren’t conversant with mental health issues can only see a kid lying in bed and say, “Get a Job.” Since you’re just making an effort to get across the house to the bathroom sink, it’s obviously not a helpful comment today.</p>
<p>But perhaps on Monday you can ask the dr. whether there’s a process to have the dr. talk to your mom, so she can understand from a doctor what’s your current reality. Hard to defend yourself now when you’re so “down.”</p>
<p>Just as you felt immediately better once you MADE THE CALL to the dr., that’s how much better you’ll feel when sun rises on Monday and it’s your day to get over there. I do recommend you allow plenty of time, even if you end up sitting in the waiting room. It’s surprising but some folks add to their own stress by going to appointments at the very very last minute…and a random 10-minute traffic situation causes them to be late.</p>
<p>Psychiatric medicine runs on the clock (unlike waiting for your family doctor, which is more flexible…hours in the waiating room). If somebody arrives for their appointment
l5 minutes late, the dr. finishes at the correct time so the next person won’t be held waiting. So they don’t stretch their time for you, not at all. It’s wise to be there AHEAD of TIME, for sure! I’d plan to get to the office a full 30 min. before appointment time on Monday. Over this weekend, make sure you know the directions, use mapquest, if there are new busses to take, etc. etc. so Monday goes smoothly. Hm. Even an hour early in the waiting room. You’ll actually feel good once you get to that waiting room, it’ll be calming and strengthening just to sit in that clean carpeted office. Bring a book. </p>
<p>Good luck. You earned some good luck.</p>
<p>Ok, I had my doctors appointment with my new primary care this morning. She was really nice and understand. We chatted about how I felt and then then discussed her medical school experience (I had to ask =] since I want to be a doctor also). When I first got in I told her that the reason I had to see my primary care was because my insurance company requires referals to see other speciality doctors. Since I’m new to the whole grown up doctor thing, she explained that family medicine handles EVERYTHING! She said that I dont NEED to go to a physcatristt because she can get me on anti depressants herself, besides I would have to wait a while to finally get in with the physcatrist anyway. So she told me that we were going to try a anti depressant called EFFEXOR XR after I told her my fear of what I’ve heard about anti depressants, she said that this medication doesn’t have so many side effects and it causes weight lost not gain (something I was worried about). She warned me of the suidical thoughts that come with any anti depressant and if it occurs to call the office or go into the ER again or even find a friend to hang out with for a while. She also prescribed AMBIEN CR for my insomnia so I can finally sleep. She wants to see me back in two weeks after the two weeks supply of the anti depressants are gone to see how I’m doing, and if the pills work for me we’ll go with those and if not, we’re going to work with something else. After the breakdown I had on saturday, I guess my mom has given it thought because she has asked me to tell her when I’m going to see a physcatrist so she could acompany me but since we’re I’m not going anymore (for now) I dont know how she will involve herself in my recovery. I also explained to my doctor that my mom doesn’t understand how i feel, and little things that annoy her that I dont do like just getting up and taking my dogs for a walk are so hard to do because we dont comminucate so she recommended counseling her my family or alone. I was nervous but I was fine after I seen that she was a really nice person and she told me that I would love FSU =]. She also wants to see if I’m Bi-polar but she said that will take sometime. She says I’ve taken the biggest step of all, realizing I needed help and shes happy I realize on my own and I’m not in denial. Thank you all so much for encouraging me, I hope to feel better really soon and getting back to my old self. I know I can always come here and talk to an adult. Thank you so very very much for the concern also =].</p>
<p>bbecker:</p>
<p>I am so glad you had a great visit!<br>
The doctor seems like a real treasure. I really hope that you can get your mom to meet her so that she can explain things to your mom. It must be very bewildering to your mom. Perhaps after your mom has met the doctor, she will understand your condition better. Meanwhile, I really hope that the medication begin to take effect and you see a marked improvement. Don’t lose heart if the improvement is not immediate. Most medicine take about ten days to really kick in. But watch out for side-effects, though. Good luck, and let us know how you are doing.</p>
<p>bbecker, so good to year from you.</p>
<p>It sounds like your primary care doctor is an excellent beginning point for you. Maybe you’ll need to see a psychiatrist down the line, maybe not. As marite said, allow for the possibility that the medicine may not “kick in” right away. Perhaps just knowing that better feelings are on their way will help if there is a bit of a delay. Also the medication to help you sleep could improve things in the short run - sleeplessness is a sinister thing in the effects it can have on our mind and spirit.</p>
<p>Looking forward to hearing how things go.</p>
<p>This is great news, Bbecker. You must be feeling tremendous relief, and you should also be feeling very proud of yourself. As we’ve all said, the first step is the hardest – you took that one last week, when you went to the ER. This step (seeing the family doc) was also huge. What a relief that she could treat you and that you didn’t have to make another appointment, wait another few days, and so forth. </p>
<p>Congratulations. Job well done!!</p>
<p>Please check in with us every day. As you can tell, we really really really do care.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for caring! =] I hope to feel better really soon! The meds so far on my first day have made me really tired, make me twitch and I just feel funny at together. Hope to get some sleep soon maybe not today but sometime this week =]. Thank you soo much!! =]</p>
<p>bbecker,
So proud of you, sweetie.
Do check back here as you progress and keep us updated.</p>
<p>Bbecker,
I just read your story today and I want to commend you for having the courage to seek treatment on your own. I’m sending a big cyber-hug your way. Are you living in Tallahassee? If so, I can recommend an excellent psychiatrist and/or an excellent psychologist. It is true that your primary care doctor can prescribe meds, but a psychiatrist usually has more experience. A psychiatrist can also do therapy, which primary care doctors do not usually do. There is help out there for you and it sounds like you are on the right track. Do remember that if the 1st anti-depressant you try does not work, there are others to try. Sometimes a bit of trial and error has to happen. The doctor has to find the right drug and the right dosage. It does sound like it’s a good idea to be evaluated for bi-polar disorder. The insomnia you describe is quite common in teenagers with depression, but it is also a hallmark of bi-polar disorder. Some experts, but by no means all, believe that most people who suffer from depression have some bi-polar traits. Personally, I don’t believe that labels are terribly important. The important thing is to get you feeling better.</p>
<p>I’m glad that you have found a doctor to help you. I hope that you will be feeling better soon. I have some experience with depression and bi-polar II disorder with a family member and know that things can get better. My relative got treatment and is happier than s/he’s been in many years. Medication has made a world of difference.</p>
<p>Please P.M. me if you have any questions about doctors in Tallahassee.</p>
<p>I second the call for you to see a psychiatrist if your primary care doctor suspects bi-polar illness. She should also recommend a separate therapist for you and your mom. It would be quite unusual for her to become your psychiatrist and therapist. That is not at all usual, bbecker. Primary care physcians are too busy to keep up with all the latest treatments in those fields. She should give you some recommendations to interview at least.</p>
<p>If you do have bi-polar illness–the treatments are difficult to fine tune–and the more specialized the doctor the better–from what I’ve seen in the twnety years of my brother seeking treatment from six separate psychiatrists.</p>
<p>Well done to you for seeking out treatment. Give the meds three weeks to kick in. Hoepfully you will start to sleep well now.</p>
<p>Uber cyber hugs to you kiddo. Nevermind college–we want you to find your way to a happier way of being.</p>
<p>I’m not in tally, I will be in the next for months for college.</p>
<p>My primary care wants us to work together to find the right meds first because she did warn me that psychiatrist are hard to get in with. She wants to try a few different meds to see if can we find one that actually works for me and then if we don’t, she will start the proccess for me to see a psychiatrist. She’s really doing it to make me feel better as soon as possible. I am worried about how long I’ll feel the side effects of the new meds, Im so tired already. I hope my mother understands that its not that I dont want to do anything, its just that I like I been awake for a billion years and like I’m 89 years old. And I’ve heard horrible stories of the withdrawl sypmtoms people go through when their doctor is switching them from what I’m taking now to new meds. It’s going to be a long process and I’m a bit scared also. Thank you for all the encouragement and cyber hugs :-). I dont feel so stupid anymore.</p>
<p>dancersmom, you seem to you a whole lot about psychatricy, any idea on how bi-polar disorder affects people life’s? Is it long term?</p>
<p>I am no expert in psychiatry. What I do know about bi-polar disorder, I have learned in the past 2 years. A close relative was diagnosed with bi-polar II disorder and epilepsy and my new son-in-law has bi-polar disorder. My reading tells me that bi-polar disorder is a genetic illness. It can be managed with medication, but it is not cured. There are two types of bi-polar disorder, type I and type II. Type II is less severe. People who have bi-polar disorder generally need to be on medication to control their symptoms just as diabetics need to take medication to manage their blood sugar levels. I believe that therapy along with medication is the key to successfully managing bi-polar disorder. Patients need drugs to help regulate their brain chemistry, but they also need therapy to learn life-style management skills and to deal with emotional issues. If you are diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, I would recommend taking a trip to your local library or bookstore. There are many excellent books on bi-polar disorder. I even saw a “Dummies” book at Barnes and Noble last week. </p>
<p>Try not to worry too much about your drug therapy. While it is true that some medications cause people to be somewhat drowsy at 1st, that could be a good thing in your case. The medications may allow you to sleep. I think that once you get your insomnia under control, you will feel better. If your doctor needs to take you off of a drug and try another, you will be weaned off of the drug slowly. You should not experience any withdrawal symptoms. The problems come when someone stops taking a medication cold turkey. It is always recommended that any anti-depressant be stopped gradually.</p>
<p>I know you are scared about your diagnosis and your treatment. Illness is a scary thing. However, the good thing is that you have put yourself on the path to good health. I hope you can look at trying medication as an important step in getting your life back. You will feel normal and happy again. It is going to take work, but you can do it! My relative suffered without a diagnosis for a long time. S/he’s now happier than s/he’s ever been. I only wish that s/he’d known exactly what was wrong sooner. Treatment could have begun years earlier and a lot of pain been avoided.</p>
<p>I hope that you’ll continue to let us now how things are going for you. We’re all rooting for you :).</p>
<p>Like many people have mentioned, I would strongly suggest talking and/or behavioral therapy in addition to medication. I do not think medication for most mental or emotional disorders is enough; I think you will require and benefit from therapy. Therapy usually happens with a psychologist, therapist, or social worker–not your primary or a psychiatrist.</p>
<p>Right, just to explain clearly what other people are assuming you know:</p>
<p>Psychiatrists are MDs. They are relatively expensive. Only MDs have the power to write prescriptions, though, so you have to get anti-depressants from an MD, either a psychiatrist or your primary care doctor.</p>
<p>Your primary care doctor is probably right that there can be a long wait to get an appointment with the psychiatrist she would refer you to with your health coverage, and that it’s fine for her to prescribe a popular anti-depressant. However, you should also keep in the back of your mind that your primary care doctor may well have a financial incentive under her deal with the insurance NOT to send you to a psychiatrist. If you think she’s not giving you an appropriate referral, you should speak up, ask her about it, and insist.</p>
<p>I think most people believe that drugs + therapy work better than drugs alone. Most therapy of this type is done not by MD psychiatrists, but by PhD or MEd clinical psychologists, or MSW psychiatric social workers. They are a lot less expensive than psychiatrists, but far from cheap, so it’s important to check what your insurance would cover (usually it covers something), and to talk to your primary care doctor about whether this would be a good idea. (I’m a little surprised that she seems not to have talked to you about it, but I don’t know enough to have an opinion, really.)</p>
<p>Different therapists, regardless of what kind of professional degree they have, use different therapy methods and modes, or combinations of them. That’s what corranged was referring to when she suggested “talking and/or behavioral therapy.” The decision what kind of therapy to pursue is one of the questions you should be considering (and also which ones have the best chance of helping you within the parameters of what your insurance will pay for, and who takes that insurance). </p>
<p>Good luck! You are shouldering a really tough burden all by yourself, and doing a very impressive job. When you get through it, you will have learned a lot and gained a lot of maturity, and you will have a lot of reason to feel proud of yourself.</p>
<p>I <3 this Board and the parents on it.</p>
<p>bbecker,</p>
<p>I’m glad you sought help. As others have said the medication may take awhile to kick in. Effexor XR is an extended release medication. The concentration will build up to a maxium level in you body based on the dosage. Also the initial dosage is just a guess and may need to be adjusted. Also, pay attention to any side effects. If you are concerned about any side affects, don’t hessitate to call your doctor. Side effects may also go away. </p>
<p>I second or third the suggestion regarding therapy/counseling. It can be very benifical to talk with someone who is impartial. They may also have some suggestions on talking with your mom and grandma.</p>
<p>Can you spend more time at your brothers? It sounds like you feel comfortable there, and it is a more supportive environment.</p>
<p>Try to take some time each day and do something you enjoy.</p>
<p>Two days on Effexor and so far I’ve been extremely tired, and really shaky. I hope to start seeing the difference in two weeks :-). Last night I actually got alittle sleep, I kept waking up every 30 minutes but I spent more then 2 hours. I’ll happy for that because I actually have energy now to do laundry and read, usually I’m so tired from not sleeping and the medication that I cant even stand to have my eyes open. I take it everyday at 2 so usually my afternoons consist of me sleeping. But mom haven’t been nagging me and I’m glad because it’s letting me relax and hopefully with every day that goes by I can have more and more energy to do the things I want and need to do :-). Thank you all again =]</p>
<p>Yes, I could spend more time at my brothers. I like being there because my brothers know how my mother can be at times. I’m also welcoming and I feel reliefed that I have somewhere to go if I need to ever get away from the stress. </p>
<p>My mom confirmed to me yesterday that she is taking earlier retirement from the post office and we’re moving to orlando, about 2 hours from where we are now. I dont really mind, even though i have the traffic. I’m going to be off at college anyway, really good thing is that tallahasse isnt as far from orlando as it is from saint petersburg. I doubt my mom will be doing much driving since she rarely does already besides going to work, hope no one bings in her new precious volvo.</p>