<p>See title… I was recently completely blindsided by a breakup and could use some of hope. :)</p>
Did any of you break up with someone you thought was "the one" only to find soomeone else as good oy
<p>Can you clarify? Are you saying that you were dating someone who you thought was “the one,” but then suddenly he broke up with you? And, now are you asking if it’s possible that you’ll still find another person who you’ll feel is “the one.”</p>
<p>If that is your concern…the answer is YES.</p>
<p>There is not just ONE person in the world that you can be happy with. (heck, if that were true, what are the chances we’d ever meet that one person???)</p>
<p>That someone else you find will be better, by the way. Not just as good.</p>
<p>Some day you will look back on this and be thankful this breakup happened because it allowed you to meet the love of your life.</p>
<p>It will be ok in the long term… in the meantime “you can’t hurry love” - <a href=“- YouTube”>- YouTube;
<p>Yes. </p>
<p>I know it feels like it will never get better right now, but believe me it will. I had my share of heartache until I found the one. My mom used to say “men are like trolley cars; if you wait long enough another will come along.” Substitute “women” if necessary. Hang in there. Get busy with other things.</p>
<p>M2cks is on the same page as Dr. Laura, and it’s good advise
<a href=“Dr. Laura: Why There Is No Such Thing as a Soul Mate”>Dr. Laura: Blog. </p>
<p>The “love of my life” didn’t break up with me-he was killed in a tragic accident after over 6 years together when I was a junior in college (he was a senior and headed to med school). </p>
<p>I met my future husband 3 years later, and almost 4 years after that, married him and went on to have 2 daughters with him. I think that’s evidence that there is always the possibility of true love after a relationship ends. </p>
<p>Take time to grieve, but leave yourself open to meeting the love of your life after. </p>
<p>Two quotes I love from Fried Green Tomatoes:</p>
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<p>and</p>
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<p>Yes, it was a very sudden and confusing breakup… went from “I adore you so much… good night, sweetheart <3” to her sobbing and sobbing the next day saying that she just couldn’t be in a relationship because of her life circumstances and that she hated herself so much for hurting me like this, that it was nothing I did, that this is just what she does in relationships, and couldn’t I please hate her for this? We talked a bit for a week after that, but then she just disappeared without warning (the last thing she said to me was “Sleep well : ),” with a promise to call me later that week to sort out what would happen with a trip we had planned). Our relationship had been wonderful to that point (only one fight, which we had moved past), and I was utterly blindsided and heartbroken by whole thing. I’ve been trying to move on, but it still smarts, largely because I can’t figure out what I did wrong, if anything. I’ve broken up with people and been broken up with before, but they were never so confusing nor with someone I connected with so well. As confused and hurt I am, I have nothing but good will to her and hope that she gets to a place where she can be with someone and that that person makes her happy, as I hope I did (and as she said I did). I bare no ill will, really, just loneliness and hope that I didn’t unintentionally hurt her. </p>
<p>(Sorry, I see my title got cut off… should read “as good or better for you?”)</p>
<p>I know it sounds corny (and a bit blunt), but there’s a good lot of fish in the sea.</p>
<p>It’s life, to be honest. </p>
<p>Me and another girl in high school were what people called, “high school sweethearts”. We were smart, ambitious, and just clicked together. Senior year rolled around. I joined the Army Officer’s Corps, she joined the Navy Officer’s Corps. Five states away from each other, and I chose a state college and she went off, we both ended our relationship. It was shock to her parents of course, (my parents, I kept them dark about the relationship, but that’s a story for another time). </p>
<p>I was absolutely devastated. There were a few rough patches because we both knew we signed up for officer’s Corps in our college and she wanted to head off, but I never predicted that we’d break off our ties. It was a lot of time mulling over, but honestly, it takes time.</p>
<p>And what has become of both of us? We’re still best friends. We still hang out all the time during college breaks, have a lot of fun, go on casual “dates”, but we’re friends and we’re close family friends who stick on what we agreed with. I’m still single in college, getting through the dating game on top of everything else in life, but, let me tell you. You’re gonna find her. Don’t you worry about it. </p>
<p>You did nothing wrong. Things happened that compromised, that was it. You don’t blame anyone. You are who you are, with all your little flaws and all that. Stop judging yourself about what could have happened, and figure out what to do now. Because life goes one direction, forward, and there’s no sense in looking behind you. </p>
<p>And let me tell you something, something I carry around when life hits me in the face and I’m on the wall. Beaten, questioning, in denial, in shock.</p>
<p>I’m still living. I’m still breathing. I still got two working hands, two legs to carry me anywhere, I still can raise my fists, and I still got a shooting eye. I can fight, I still have a voice, and I still have a name and a life ahead of me. So raise your fists, raise your voice, and carry on. </p>
<p>It sounds very similar to my friend whose son was just broken up with by his girlfriend. She used a lot of those same words and just didn’t have the heart to tell him she had met someone else. My friend was very upset (as was her son) over the whole break up and needed to be reminded that’s how lots of relationships end…we find someone else while we are still dating another person. Telling the person we are in the relationship with is a very hard thing to do and usually done in a messy, confusing way trying to avoid hurt feelings.<br>
Not saying this is what has happened in your case, but if you’re confused over the words you were told, you could ask if that is what happened. Just be ready for the truth if you ask. Fortunately time really does heal all wounds.</p>
<p>I wish I knew then, what I know now. It didn’t work because it wasn’t meant to. The right one for me was a year or two down the line…but I didn’t know that then and felt so rejected/dejected…We don’t get exit interviews from relationships and it can leave us wondering what did we do wrong…but in all honesty…it just means we were not meant to be for each other.</p>
<p>FWIW, i do sincerely believe her reasons–I know a ton about her life situation and how (legitimately) stressful it is, and she has a history of panicking and suddenly abandoning things when her life situation changes like it is now (not just with relationships, but things like changing jobs, changing schooling, even moving cross country). Plus, I do believe that she didn’t meet anyone else–for one, due to our specific orientation, the dating pool is tiny, and she posted a couple of things on social media about how lonely she was after the breakup, which broke my heart a bit. I do truly believe it was the circumstances, which sadly don’t seem like they’re likely to resolve any time soon. It was no one’s fault, which means that we both got hurt. And that’s even sadder in a way–I much prefer “jerkwad” breakups, ironically.</p>
<p>Also, I don’t begrudge the relationship–it made me extremely happy while it lasted and taught me that people can find me beautiful and desirable and that I can make them very happy, too. 
Losing my gf (and also someone who was one of my best friends) sucked, but I’d do it again, even knowing that it wouldn’t last forever. And hopefully the universe will align and I’ll find that again, at the right time.</p>
<p>First, <em>hugs</em> to you. </p>
<p>I was in this situation. My high school sweetheart and I broke off an engagement after being together for five years. Was utterly convinced he was the one (until the end of the relationship). </p>
<p>I’m now marrying someone in a few months who makes me infinitely happier than my ex ever could have. </p>
<p>Also the concept of “the one” is a bunch of crap. It sets us up for unrealistic expectations. </p>
<p>I am not badmouthing your ex in any way, but you don’t want to be with someone who will abandon you in times of stress. It just doesn’t bode well for the future. </p>
<p>Agree–hugs to you! It’s tough, especially if your ex won’t talk about why you broke up and you don’t have “closure,” it’s tough to move forward. It WILL get better and you will find the person you are meant to move forward with in time.</p>
<p>I had heartbrakes several times–my HS love that I dated for about 4 years, then my college BF that I dated for about 4 years and then my law school BF that I dated for several years. Each time, I thought it was “the one.” The man I married 28 years ago had them all beat by a mile! We have been very happy together and I learned and grew from each of the prior relationships, as he did from his prior relationships. </p>
<p>It will get better! Take care of yourself!</p>
<p>Several missteps led me to The One. Hugs. It’s awful, I know, and I felt I had lost out. But then…I met dh.</p>
<p>Yes. I dated a really good guy for a year in h.s. He left for college. I was still in h.s. Couldn’t make it work. Broke up. Started dating another guy who was also in college. We were together for 2 years. He came home every weekend (1 hr. away) to see me. I graduated h.s. and went off to his university…didn’t even apply any where else. Once I got to college, things started going downhill. He was very possessive. I was so stressed. Just before first semester exams, he broke up with me. He thought I’d beg him to take me back. I didn’t. </p>
<p>Back at home for winter break, I ran into boyfriend #1 at the Christmas Eve service at our church. Hadn’t talked to him in over 2 years. We talked on the church steps with Hark the Herald Angels Sing playing in the background. I asked him if he’d like to go out with me during Christmas break. He said yes. We had a great time together during the holidays.<br>
He proposed to me 10 months after our random encounter in church on Christmas Eve.</p>
<p>After my soph. year of college, we got married.
Been married for 32 years now.
It can happen.</p>
<p>I met the love of my life sophomore year in high school. He took a junior year abroad and met the woman he married over there. I met the guy I married shortly afterwards. We are both still married to the people we met junior year. He’s still a fine guy and I’m sure we could have been happy together, but I like my husband even better. From what I can tell from his facebook posts, we no longer have the same taste in music, he’s a bit of a fuddy-duddy and he hasn’t aged very well. I truly believe there are plenty of people in the world that can be the one. </p>
<p>Looking back, I am now THANKFUL that I was broken up with right before I headed to college. We had dated all of senior year in HS, and both had plans to attend the same college before meeting each other. He was the first one to bring up marriage, our plans for the future, etc. One month before we leave for school, he breaks up with me. I was completely blind-sighted…nothing was wrong! </p>
<p>2 months into school starting, I meet a great guy and we start dating. 4 years later, we are married. Due to him, I have a job I love, a puppy we raised together, in-laws that I adore, and most of all - a hard working, successful man that I never would have known should my ex have held on a little longer. </p>
<p>It gets better, the pain goes away, or at least dulls - but it will take time. It could take a lot of time, but you will get through it. You may meet someone when you least expect it. </p>