<p>I didn’t grow up in a house with ANY nice furniture that was off-limits. I would <em>never</em> do my nails somewhere without asking though. IMO, it’s just kinda rude.</p>
<p>I did spill nailpolish remover on my mom’s wooden table once. I remember her refinishing it for weeks. Never made that mistake again. </p>
<p>Honestly, as someone who doesn’t get along with their future MIL, if that’s the worst you’ve done, I wouldn’t worry. If she’s really miffed over that, then it’s her issue.</p>
<p>Her parents divorced and there are two homes. Her father’s house is, from reports as I have never been there, is a filthy mess in a very nice area. Mother’s house is totally different in style (quite modern)…it’s fine…but we have only been there for events that took up the whole of downstairs. </p>
<p>No toenails were cut here…only fingernails…and no (I hear giggling) plastic has invaded our sofas and chairs. What I said was an even tone…not nasty/controlling/or nasty…just a request.</p>
<p>As one MIL to another. You did fine imho. Families have different rules. Now she is one of your children and follows the same house rules. She is not more special than the others, right. I have dealt with this too. After the first few times, I decided it was best just to speak as directly as possible and then let it go entirely.</p>
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<p>I have nice things. I believe in people using them. I believe in people using good judgement. Some families have table tops that don’t need coasters. I have antique tables, which we use everyday, but we use coasters for drinks. It is always a moment of indecision for me when someone puts a sweaty glass down without a coaster (lots are out) but after having a few things damaged enough to require refinishing - which destroys the patina and value - I just reposition the glass on a coaster as discreetly as possible. One end table has a water ring left by a dear friend who died very unexpectedly soon thereafter. I am not having it redone. It is a sweet momento. </p>
<p>I live in the country and have purposefully dealt with the floors so that people don’t have to remove shoes. I recently recovered some chairs in heavy duty fabric and am trying to redirect drop-in guests who have been out working in their gardens to those chairs and away from the silk sofas. It’s a challenge. I don’t have any casual hangout spaces in this house. I like to live in my best rooms 
This is the retirement house.</p>
<p>adding: I don’t think I am my DIL’s mom but I don’t know how to relate to her other than considering her one of my kids. I have no idea what her take is. She calls me “mom”</p>
<p>No, not at all. If one prefers to paint her nails at home then anyone who regularly does mani-pedi know the damage a polish remover, nail polish can inflict on surfaces. The only safe place is on a level surface where you can put thick towels to catch any drippings and clippings.</p>
<p>Acetone is a common cleaner for marble and will not damage it. However, as an owner of a marble counter that’s been etched by tomato juice and vinegar, I understand very well the knee-jerk reaction to anything that sounds like “acid” near marble.</p>
<p>I think grooming activities belong in a more casual setting, preferably a bathroom. I probably would have suggested a change in venue myself.</p>
<p>alh: You have coasters too? Yeah team! </p>
<p>But honestly I am seeing the benefit of giving her a gift certificate to the nail salon of her choice. There is always a reason for gift giving…and this might be enjoyable gift.</p>
<p>I think since it’s your home and it was important to you it was fine to ask her to do her nails elsewhere. I trust you did so politely…perhaps she was simply embarrassed and that influenced her seeming annoyed?</p>
<p>but I was confused by your question in the initial post;</p>
<p>Am I the hated mil (to be)…or should I swallow hard and not say anything? Or should I show my boundaries? Or take her to my manicurist and be done with it?</p>
<p>It sounded like you were asking if you should say something about it again? In my view you already demonstrated your boundaries, which is your privilege. But I wouldn’t raise it again, it’s a small issue in the scheme of family relations, so I’d say let it go. Taking her to your manicurist might be perceived as passive aggressive, even if that’s the furthest thing from your mind.</p>
<p>I don’t think you need to do anything else, but I think a gift that might be better received would be some hip, stylin’ nail polish in a color or colors you think she’d really like. :)</p>
<p>I had this situation: walked into a room where all the “kids” were hanging out and DIL sitting on arm of 18th c chair. I said, very calmly, “Oh sweetie, we don’t sit on the chair arms. They may break.” Her BIL immediately spoke up, “I TOLD you so!” The one that got a talking to later was the BIL. </p>
<p>No advice on taking her for a manicure. We don’t do home manicures here. The smells bother my husband. Years ago he walked into our dining room to unexpectedly find my visiting SIL doing her nails and he said, “Hey! we don’t do that in the dining room” I heard about it later from my Mother. Neither of us really knew how to respond. To husband or SIL. No one did manicures at my Mother’s dining room table. Every family is different. :)</p>
<p>17 yr old s and 6 friends were having game night in my dining room, and asked me to take a photo, so one teen gets up to get into the pic, and whips his chair out and slams it into the wall, I contained myself, as it seemed purely an accident but still bugged me. but when he did it a second time, a moment later I felt he was somewhat disrespecting my lovely chair and wall, so I said something. my house, my dining room table. discussed with my s later as I felt it had been an awkward moment…I reminded him if he wanted to use my house this way he had to comply with my boundaries…</p>
<p>The future DIL showed a lack of class. When you are in another’s home, all personal grooming should be done in private.</p>
<p>You were well within your rights to speak up. I’m grossed out by whole idea - what’s next? Shaving her legs at the kitchen sink? Whoever said “groom in your room” upthread was spot on!</p>
<p>I would hope the DIL feels ellebud’s home is her home now too. Or as much her home as it is her husband’s home? But perhaps in ellebud’s home everyone grooms in private? Families live in very different ways. Children in law have to adapt sometimes. I think it is usually only a big deal if we make it one. Or if the “children” use it to challenge the “grown-ups” in some way.</p>
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<p>When D1 was home a few weeks ago, she wanted to remove her polish (didn’t have any new polish to put back on), so she took out a long sheet of foil from the kitchen and set it down on top of the table she was working on. I thought it was a good idea. She didn’t have to worry about any liquids leaking through, like they can on a towel.</p>
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I believe you. Really, I do. But…this is what my mother always says right after she has mercilessly nagged my sister or me (and we are both over 50 years old). So…</p>
<p>Nail polish remover is deadly to all sorts of furniture surfaces and marble is really delicate. My mom had a fit if any of us used it without putting down some sort of barrier, even in the bathroom so I’m surprised that she wouldn’t know this.</p>
<p>Maybe you can just ask her to do it on a magazine or something if it happens again (but I’ll bet it doesn’t). If she “hates” you over this one incident, the girl is a twit and your son should be warned.</p>
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<p>Now I am concerned 
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<p>I have the world’s most relaxed house, but toenails in the den? Eeeew! I do nail polish removal in the bathroom too because it’s so stinky and messy, though I often put on nail polish in the living room and will one day regret it. I don’t think you were out of line at all. I think your daughter in law needs to learn your rules in your house.</p>
<p>Still pondering on the gift idea. A gift of polish, to me, says you have your rules but want her to know you like her and do care about her feelings. It also, to me, speaks to where she is at now. If someone feels accepted for who she is now, she might be more open to something like the gift certificate mentioned later on down the line… Or, who knows, maybe she’s always wanted to get her nails done at a salon, lol. </p>
<p>Me, I go natural and have no desire to have nails done at a salon, but I remember enjoying doing my nails in my teens. :)</p>
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<p>The OP said that it was fingernails, not toenails. </p>
<p>But that still seems inappropriate to me.</p>
<p>My understanding, and I suppose this could be wrong, is that acetone is used to clean natural marble, but that it can damage a sealed finish. Put it this way, I would never in a million years use any chemical product near a good piece of furniture without asking.</p>