DD16 is very stressed right now, tomorrow we head to OU (6+ hour dive each way) for her audition for the school of music but have to drive back right after the audition so she can make it to UIL the next day. She’s taking a DE classes in the evening and has a ton of homework for all her classes and has several scholarship essay and apps to get in this week and it’s Girl Scout Cookies season!
I’m the cookie mom for two troops and the Juliettes (independently registered girls) in our area. All the parents know I do not text. If you need to reach me, send email or call my land line phone, my cell is usually dead. I send emails to all the parents and they know that if they need more cookies they need to order via email by 5:00 Sunday night and I will be able to pick them up Tuesday. If they want to do a cookie booth they need to let me know what time and day the are available one week in advance. This is not rocket science!
I saw a parent at an event last week and asked her if she had gotten an important email I had sent about cookies because I was surprised she hadn’t responded yet. She responded by saying she hadn’t checked her email ‘in days’ but she’d get to it. The next day she texted her daughter’s cookie order to my daughter which I though was really odd. I took the order but reminded her to email me her order directly next time.
Last night as DD was trying to get her homework and essays done the same woman starts texting my daughter again telling her to tell me to reschedule her cookie booth, telling her to tell me to tell me she needs more cookies, telling her to tell me that she want trade out certain cookies types. D was getting frustrated because she was trying to get her work done so I told her to ignore her texts and not to reply. I was really angry that this woman can’t be bothered to use email or call. I called her cell (the number she had been texting from) and got her voice mail. I left a message stating in no uncertain terms that she was to NEVER TEXT MY DAUGHTER AGAIN! That she is very busy and has her own cookies to worry about and that she should not be put in the position of playing secretary because she can’t be bothered to call or email me directly.
I’ll be seeing this woman in a few hours to deliver her cookies and I’d really like opinions on how I should handle his situation. Did I over react? Should I apologize? Should I stand my ground?
Why aren’t you reaching out to the Girl Scouts directly instead of/in addition to the moms? Sounds like some of them, at least, are old enough.
Your daughter should have nipped it in the bud by texting back. “Hey, I’m really busy and can’t pass you messages along to my mom right now. As my mom has requested, please call her at xxx number or email her at zzzz. Thanks!”
The woman obviously didn’t follow your protocol, but sounds like your response might have been a little extreme. I wouldn’t apologize for saying something but might acknowledge that your response was a little strong.
I think you overreacted a little, but I also understand. Don’t beat yourself up. Hopefully she will be gracious about it, but if not - just go about your business and move on. Truth be told she should apologize for triangulating your daughter into the situation but she may not. You can’t control what she does.
The stance of steadfastly being unwilling to text but insisting on emails is an interesting one. So you will make those who text use email because that is your preferred way of communicating. I guess everyone has that right-to determine how to communicate with others but I guess I’d avoid conveying any sentiment that I was taking the high road.
Yes, you overreacted, and yes, you should apologize. You should also at least attempt to rely on a cell phone for calls and texts, because that is how most people, even in the business world, are moving. My H gets more calls on his work cell than his work landline or the home phone, and I have gotten very important text from work people in emergencies. MANY people don’t check email often anymore, and emails can get lost, sent to the “spam” file, or never transmitted at all. You’re relying on old technology for something that seems to sometimes need quick responses.
The woman was wrong to text your D over and over, but since you purposefully make yourself unavailable, maybe she thought she had no choice?
I cannot imagine trying to conduct a cookie sale by relying on text messages when so many people are involved. That could be an awful lot of texted orders! I think the OP mentioned calling was also an option for conducting business. I personally don’t think being available 24/7 by cell is an absolute necessity for most of us.
If I were you I would take the high road–and the initiative–and apologize for over-reacting, and explain as you did here WHY you and your D are under so much pressure right now. If she is a decent person, she should understand why you reacted as you did and apologize for texting your D instead of emailing you, as requested.
@lostaccount, I think that the person who takes on a responsibility has the right to establish how to communicate with her. Someone who doesn’t like it could always volunteer to do the job herself. (When hell freezes over, no doubt.)
I would suggest that you find someone else to be the “cookie mom,” which sounds like a royal PITA. Isn’t that something that a teen girl scout or team of teens could take on?
Consolation, I did not do a good job at expressing what I meant to convey-which was, don’t make it seem like you are taking the high road if you aren’t. The high road would be to communicate using a mode you know someone else prefers.
This is a very good point. Aren’t the girls handling their own cookie sale details at this age (I assume they are all high schoolers?)?
Isn’t being the cookie coordinator a big commitment? If it is, then it’s your right to choose how and when to communicate. Will you be resigning your cookie coordinator position when your d graduates? If so, then maybe you can nominate the Texting Terror to take your place if she will have a Girl Scout daughter?
As a former troop leader/cookie mom-- I too would never take orders via text-- too many typos occur in texts and there’s a big difference between 12 boxes and 120 boxes! I also preferred email for the paper trail… I could easily respond back and include the original email in the response.
I agree with the content of your message… but not sure about the tone. I’m sure if you opened up the discussion by saying-- ‘I’m sorry I sounded frustrated, but at this stressful time of year I am trying to protect my daughter from any unnecessary stressors so she can focus on having a successful senior year’–you could stand your ground while acknowledging that the tone may not have been what you intended.
It’s a tough job… and I’m sure you don’t hear ‘thank you’ as much as you should… so thank you!
@lostaccount, why does the texter’s desire to communicate via text and refusal to use email as requested, or simply CALL, for heaven’s sake, excuse HER from using the mode of communication the OP prefers?
Makes no sense to me. And to text the DAUGHTER repeatedly is really out of line.
You gave all parents including this parent concerned sufficient notice and explicit directions to place orders by set deadlines via email or landline. You did your part.
The main issue is this parent decided to ignore those explicitly communicated instructions and do an end-run around them by contacting your D despite the fact you’re the cookie mom…not the D.
It was that parent who decided to ignore your instructions so the onus/blame for the reaction is mostly on her IMO.
In some company cultures I’ve worked in, if all one gets for ignoring such clear explicit instructions communicated ahead of time is being shouted at…they’ve gotten off quite lightly.
I think your tone and words could have been more tactful, but I don’t blame you for being exasperated. I would walk right up to Person and say "I was having such a hectic day yesterday, and I’m sorry I was so cranky. I do really need people to text me, though, not Daughter. " If Person isn’t totally clueless, there will be some “oh it’s okay I get it” comment. If they don’t, keep being the broken record “we only take orders and information via this method. I’m so sorry, but if you use any other means, I won’t be able to respond and I’d hate to be disappointing your customers”
Fundraisers are the pits. Says the booksale, wreathsale, wrapping paper sale mom.
Agree with @Parent1337. Use your phone. No, cookies orders should not depend on it, but that is the way some people communicate today. Don’t act shocked when someone doesn’t look at their email every day if you can’t even keep your phone charged. My kids would go ape-poop. So would I. Give it a try, you might even like it.
Most of that is beside the point. You probably owe a bit of an apology.
No, I wouldn’t expect orders or order changes to get communicated by text, but it would make perfect sense and be quick to text something like “Hey, I have a major change to my order, Can you call me ASAP?” or, a text saying, “When you get a chance, I need to talk to you about my order, but I won’t be at my desk to email, when is the best time to call?”
Email just isn’t nearly as quick or reliable as a quick text is to get an important conversation going. H missed an important communication from work last night because it came through 5 minutes after he’d left work. Fortunately, people in his business text, and he got one telling him to check his work email when he got home. Problem was solved, but otherwise he’d not have seen it until today.
Is your daughter nominally the chair of the cookie drive, even though the mothers end up doing all the work? If so, I think it is appropriate for folks to contact your daughter.