Did my acappella group haze me?

College Life
1

I don’t want to file a false report, so I was wondering if this counts as hazing under school policy.

They make new members

  • Do push-ups as punishment.
  • Play beer pong.
  • Make alcoholic beverages even if under 21 (They don’t force you to drink it, but it’s heavily encouraged), and you are required to serve it at parties.
  • Casually insult new members as a rule and assert superiority over us.
  • During certain rituals, they blindfold us and lock us in a dark closet without telling us beforehand.
  • Giving alcohol to people under 21. One new member was 17 when they had him drinking and smoking weed with them.
2

Please see someone in student life at your college about this.

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3

Short answer… yes.

You might be interested in this Spotify podcast about the Cornell acapella group that was dismantled for hazing.

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4

Welcome to college.

Technically yes but I’m sure this is very common. No, it doesn’t make it right.

You asked is it a violation of the policy? Find the school policy on hazing and you’ll quickly know. I linked below.

Whether you want to report it and be subject to all that will come with reporting it is a different issue.

Good luck

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5

I’d report it- it’s up to the relevant deans and authorities to decide if providing alcohol (and everything else) warrants further investigation– it’s not up to a student.

And I’d question whether being locked up by my alleged friends/group members is a sign that this is a group I want to affiliate with.

Good luck to you.

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6

Every one of those things would be considered hazing by a sorority (National Panhel groups).

Some would have been allowed way back in my day (blindfolding and taking to another location was something we did, and where did we take them? to the sorority house for ice cream!). We thought it was fun and most of the pledges did too (who doesn’t like ice cream at 1 am?) but some didn’t so no longer allowed.

One of the best times I had was learning and singing songs. We sang after every meal and we’d go serenade other houses and frats. We loved it (no one was forced to sing or go sing). However, my daughter and niece both belong to the same sorority (different chapters, decades later) and don’t know any of the songs because requiring they learn them is considered hazing. Everything is considered hazing. Everything.

So it is up to you. If you don’t want to do it, tell them and if it is required to stay a member, report it. It is likely the group will be reprimanded or disbanded. I’d start with the person responsible for new members and tell them you don’t like it, and see if changes can be made. If not, report it.

People think hazing and harassment only happens in Greek life or some sports teams in college, but several music programs have had serious problems (Florida A&M marching band had a death). Sounds like you feel harassed, and that’s what’s important - how YOU feel.

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7

Just remember, if you are part of the club and something happens, your life will be forever changed. Do NOT take on a leadership role in this organization (which is also advice I give to anyone in a fraternity), as you can be charged criminally if someone is injured. SA’d, or overserved/underage.

It seems that clubs are exempt from hazing education at Binghamton. Perhaps you can submit a letter to the University (anonymously?) stating that you think this is a wider problem than just the Greek organizations and sports teams that are required to take the anit-hazing course.

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8

I can’t report them. I still care about them too much.

9

Google Stockholm Syndrome before you make a decision…

10

If you’re unable to do anything and I understand - it would come with a potential consequence, I wonder then why you brought it up ?

It’s a tough situation.

Perhaps, you should leave the group. You’d have your dignity. They could ask why. You can explain your discomfort. They would be aware.

But things like drinking and smoking happens both inside and outside of organized activities - so at least for that, you’ll experience that outside the group but with no pressure to participate.

Honestly, leaving may be your best mechanism. You can still retain friendships.

Is there another you could join ?

11

From reading this, you are part of the group, you feel this practice is wrong, and you care enough not to report them because of the consequences.

Can you effect change from within? What about suggesting that they not do this next year? If an “initiation” is felt to be bonding, what would not be harmful and benefit the group (by advertising for an upcoming concert, for example).

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12

This is where my mind went as well. It sounds as if you feel connected to the people in your group and want to continue participating now that you’re past the initiation piece, but you disagree with some of the initiation practices. If that’s the case, then working from within to shift the group’s culture seems like an excellent goal.

I would expect, though, that if you go in with an undifferentiated list of practices you disagree with, it will be harder to get traction than if you prioritize your list and identify what simple changes would move the needle in the right direction.

You mention, for example, that you felt pressured to drink (and to participate in distributing drinks to minors), but you acknowledge that no one was required to drink. So, maybe what’s needed is more explicit support for the non-drinking option, and you could be the person who was lacking during your initiation process, supporting and validating the sober path through the initiation process.

Asking the group to participate, voluntarily, in the anti-hazing training that exists for Greek/sports organizations, would also be a reasonable ask IMHO.

OTOH, I’d try to avoid getting lost in the weeds of complaining about things like pushups. (Though, as with the alcohol issue, you could certainly advocate for making modifications available - especially vis-a-vis acknowledging that all sorts of physical limitations and disabilities exist and could plausibly affect students who might join an a capella group, and therefore there should be forethought about what inclusion would look like.) Likewise, most people would weather the “blindfolded and locked in a closet” experience without undue distress, but then again, what if someone is claustrophobic or has past trauma that would make that experience harmful for them? Posing the question of “how can we be trauma-informed” rather than taking a rigid stance of “This is 100% wrong for everyone” might make more headway.

I think you’ll find that practically every setting in college (short of very socially-conservative religious groups, etc.) will include some of the sort of shenanigans that are described here. You’re not likely to be able to eliminate this altogether, but you can definitely help to dilute the peer pressure by serving as an example and as an ally to those who want to say “no thanks” but need some support in doing so. Often that’s all it takes - just one “safe person” so that people who want to set a boundary for themselves don’t feel alone.

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13

They won’t change, even the kindest member the president refuses to acknowledge what the group does as too much.

14

It’s very possible that they won’t. I’m sure this won’t be the last time you feel this way. You will encounter practices and cultural norms that you don’t agree with, throughout your life. You might as well start figuring out how you intend to handle it, before the stakes are higher (e.g. because it’s your workplace and how you respond will affect your career).

You have several choices:

  • You can remove yourself from the situation - leave the group, but without interfering with what the group does once you’re out.
  • You can remove yourself and file a report. This may or may not change anything, other than how others in the group feel about you.
  • You can stay in the group and try to avoid the issue by participating in initiation as little as possible. Just enjoy the music and try to stay out of the aspects that bother you.
  • Or you can do as I suggested: stay in the group and do what you can to change the initiation experience for the better. Even if the process stays the same, and the behavior of others doesn’t change, you can be a source of support and advocacy for those who join in the future. And if they appreciate your support, they can pay it forward and support subsequent generations as you have, and perhaps move the needle in terms of the overall culture rather than stay in an “I went through it so they should too” rut.

That’s it. Those are your options. Choose one and move forward. Wallowing in your distress about this isn’t going to do you or anyone else any good. And if this is the worst you ever encounter, in terms of dubious peer behavior, consider yourself fortunate.

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