So you’re going to punish your child for realizing that what they thought they wanted as a young child no longer fits their goals. O…k. You’re speaking in generalities, but the only careers I can think of that’s DANGEROUS and limits where a person can live and how they raise a family would be law enforcement or military. My son came home after HS one day to say he’d enlisted. No, he didn’t ask permission, and yes, his father and I were shocked, as he’d always been a bit of a rule challenger. My ex and I were also very anti-war, no guns in the house, all of that.
Instead of being shocked to the point the we barely spoke to him, we were proud of him. Terrified, sometimes, and that one midnight phone call he made to me nearly caused a heart attack, but I am proud to say that I am a vet’s mom and that my son served.
Keep telling yourself this: Our children are not our property, and have minds of their own. If we did our jobs well as parents, they will do good things and be good people, regardless of what they do in life. Your anger at your daughter is coming from a place of fear. Own it, then let her go out and life her life. It IS her life, after all, not yours.