I think it’s great to meet in college but also great to meet after one has finished school and started figuring out what who and what they want from life. I am a chameleon and was somewhat easily influenced by the men who were important in my life. I dated a Jewish guy and learned a lot of their cutlure and religion. I dated an ecologist and learned a lot about hiking and wildlife. I really wanted to see what was important to me after I was done with school and I changed yet again after graduating. Some couples grow together and some grow apart because what they wanted when they were students and younger may be different than what they want as they get older.
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When I was younger, all I wanted was to be married. Now all I want is to stay married. So much simpler then. 
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LOL - In retrospect, hubby and I split our bets. We met in college, but he was 7 years older (we joke that he was on the “11 year plan”, changing majors and putting himself through school). It worked for us. Of course my 3 close college pals married same age classmates right out of school - also still married 40 years later. All STEM majors. Probably we just got lucky. But… maybe also a factor of having opportunity for lots of time getting to know each other in a casual setting.
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How exciting! Congrats to all as they begin their, “Happily Ever After”!!
For many of our adult children the, “meet in college,” opportunity has long since passed. I think that is what this thread is primarily about. Students on a traditional four-year path tend to graduate around 21-22. My ds actually graduated at age 20
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There’s certainly no harm in waiting to see what the more “finished” product looks like. This may not happen until probably late 20s early 30s.
My son told me one of the reasons he didn’t date seriously in his 20s was that he was spending the time working on his finance career. He broke up with a long term college GF a couple of years after graduation. He married at age 31 and his wife was 30.
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Or at least only harm to those looking to be active grandparents…
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I’m happy to welcome whatever my kids decide to bring into the world when they decide. My kids accept us as we are—wrinkles, creaking and all. We may be less active than any of us would prefer but will be very loving anyway.
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Oh, someone gets me!
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Well, we were older when we got married. I was 29 and H was 44. We had kids right away, but we were definitely the oldest by far in our Lamaze course as well as the Catholic retreat we had to take to be married in the Catholic Church. Our S followed H’s lead and didn’t marry young—he was mid/late 30s. D is mid-30s and still single so no idea what her future holds.
It’s OK, we just want them to have happy and healthy relationships, however long it takes to build them. It’s tougher having a lot of exes and step relatives and half-relatives, etc. In any case, I’m glad that both have nice strong friend groups.
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I have found, anecdotally, that so many of my two daughters’ friends/acquaintances are getting married or already married. One is 25 (getting married in a few months) and one is going to be 23. That is just so weird to me, because “back in my day” that’s the last thing any of my professional women friends wanted to do lol.
I just had this conversation with my youngest, whose career goal is to be rich (and climb the corporate ladder). She is going to work for an international company everyone has heard of, and is looking forward to at least friendships with people sharing her goals and interests (she found little of that in college). Many people within that company date and marry.
I don’t know if it’s any different these days, but “back in my day” I found when I stopped looking, men came out of the woodwork 
I even got asked out on a date the week I was getting married. One could look at the apps as people with a common goal, I guess, but it’s less organic than meeting cute or being introduced by friends. I suggested to my daughter that she find things SHE likes to do, and from there she will hopefully find like-minded people to hang out with.
We shall see what happens!
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Right. But I do understand why people are seeking community ways to meet new friends and possible dating opportunities rather than just using apps to find potential mates. My parents (and MANY of their friends) met their spouse at a huge young 20s/30s adult church group in NYC. On Mom’s last lucid day, we happened to look at her photo album from that club - lot of fun weekend trips. I realize there are few young churchgoers these days, but it would be cool if there were other ways to capture the big group environment. Maybe no dating outcomes, but there could be fun group activities for those singles don’t like a lot of alone time
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I read Modern Romance when it first came out in 2015 and it stuck with me for its portrayal of my parents’ generation and my own experience (I dated rarely in college but married the guy working next door at our first jobs), my D was in grad school and used match apps. She didn’t have much luck until she had been working for a few years and finally “met” a guy as quirkey as she is and they are getting married next month.
Luck is certainly involved. One of my best friends from work had a daughter just before I did. Her daughter was caught up having many friends getting married (late 20’s) and not finding anyone for herself. She took a vacation with a girlfriend to Australia, and her friend left a day earlier, so she went into a bar by herself and met a marine stationed close to where we lived; they dated, got married, and now have 2 kids. So romantic, so lucky for both of them.
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My story was meant to illustrate that while ds1 and DIL didn’t meet IN college, it’s possible that college still provides a connection that people can use to network. I know that people from ds1’s college feel like someone there has self-selected that kind of place and that that’s a good basis to see how you might have something in common with a fellow alum. So many people he knows from his school marry alums, even if they never dated while there.
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Oh one more tip for meeting people—foster or adopt a dog (only if you love dogs and will regularly walk & care for). It causes you to go out and walk the pet and engage with others (often other pet owners). My DIL had a dog but they travel too much so she had to give dog to her mom.
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This is a good idea. When we were looking for a new dog, we attended a few local rescue events. I was very surprised at the number of single young men who were fosters.
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Yes, I would love that. I think the alumni group in ds’s new city skews older, unfortunately.
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My DIL said when they help friends with pets who go on vacation by caring for the pets, lots of folks approach and talk to them when they walk the pets and she says having pets is very social. She wants a dog but they still travel too much (S is here currently for a few days en route back to DC—has been traveling for several weeks.)
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My late SisIL had several different groups of folks attend her celebration fo life—dog walkers, hikers, other dentists, patients and extended family members. The dog walkers (especially those in the neighborhood) were a pretty large and cohesive group. Most at least knew the names of the other dogs and the owner’s face associated with said dog, even if some may not have known the owners names.
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My daughter volunteers walking dogs for a local shelter. They “sign out” dogs and can take them hiking and such. The shelter vets the dogs’ personalities and also their staminas.
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I agree that dogs can increase engagement with others and increase odds of finding a significant other. Nevertheless, I would not recommend getting a dog for this reason. Owning a dog is often a decade long commitment, often spending hours every day, including regular walking, playing, and other activities . Don’t take it lightly, and don’t do so for the primary purpose of meeting a romantic partner. Don’t expect to give away your dog to a parent/friend, if you travel a lot or become busy.
I’d make similar comments about adopting a child. I expect adopting a child would be tremendously more effective than adopting a dog for meeting women. However, I certainly would not recommend doing so to meet women.
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