Adopting a dog does not make sense unless you have the desire, means and flexibility to do so. (Side bar - I’ve heard of a few young adults who adopted a dog or two and then decided they can only consider work-from-home jobs.). However I can see how helping out a pal by dog sitting now and then might be a win/win.
2 Likes
Yes, sitting a dog for a vacationing buddy or fostering a dog is likely better. You’re right that it’s a commitment.
We were given a rabbit that we told would probably not live long. That led the kids to want a 2nd rabbit and the rabbits both lived much longer and expected and I (who never really wanted them) ended up being primary caregiver to bunnies as well as kids.
1 Like
I adopted my two dogs and three cats. I love them dearly and can’t imagine my life without them. I agree with you that they are not to be adopted or given up on a whim.
I also adopted my child. She is my CHILD.
Please, do not put these in the same category to make a clever point, no matter how much anybody may care for pets. Your comment took my breath away, and not in a great way. I have no words…
7 Likes
I’ve adopted 4 children as well as multiple pets, and didn’t find @Data10 's post offensive at all. I’m sorry it upset you.
4 Likes
Well, you do you.
But maybe you (or the majority of parents with children by birth) never had to hear casual comments about your infant such as “how much did you pay for her” (husband of new acquaintance with three bio children) or “are you sure you want to keep her” (ex-pediatrician at first well-baby appointment).
I don’t want to divert this thread, so that’s all I’m gonna say about this. I don’t know how many men actually consider adopting a child as some kind of chick-bait so it was probably an unnecessary comment that meant no wrong and was hastily delivered. However, it does trivialize the relationship that adopted children have with their families. I stand with that.
8 Likes
Yes, I’ve heard similar comments about my 2 Asian and 2 African children. I just chalk it up to ignorance, not malice.
A cousin of mine just had a baby with Down’s.
If I didn’t know her to be incapable of lying/exaggerating, I wouldn’t believe the things that she’s told us that people have said to her. Yes, they had genetic testing. Yes, they knew what they were getting in to. Yes, she understood the risks of about 40 things when she got pregnant (which includes things you can screen for and things you can’t). Yes, they know that raising a kid with special needs is expensive. Yes, they told their older kids ahead of time. Etc.
So I offer a virtual hug to the parents of adopted kids- but know that people make dumb comments regardless of how your kid was conceived, came to you, etc. BIG HUG.
11 Likes
When our cavalier was alive, and my older son was home, he would often take him for a walk. That dog was a real babe magnet 
3 Likes
D2 walked on Saturday and Sunday with two different women’s walking groups and plans to walk again next Sunday with one of the women she met. D2 feels that by expanding her circle of women that she knows she will be able to meet a guy at some point. I’m proud of her for putting herself out there and making some new connections.
16 Likes
I totally agree.
I don’t even like the word adoption when it’s used for pets. “Adopt a poor dog from a shelter, don’t shop!” It gives me the impression that adopted children are thought of the same way. Sad orphanage kids who need rescuing. It’s insulting.
Adoption means taking one in as your own so it applies to all pets no matter where they come from including breeders. So word it some other way animal people! Leave the word adoption to people.
2 Likes
There’s a new podcast that does an excellent job discussing this topic…Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett from March 31, titled Masculinity Debate. Some of it touches on things we’ve mentioned, but I think people interested in understanding the struggles of young men will appreciate the discussion.
2 Likes
I watched this yesterday. Really interesting.
1 Like
People - the character of these threads is that other important issues pop up. However, if those issues are entirely unrelated to the thread, it is best to start a new thread about that issue. Otherwise it can either derail the thread, or it can get lost as the thread gets back on the original topic.
3 Likes
My sister once said (when she was in this 20-30 age group) “I’d never marry someone without at least a masters degree. I don’t think I know anyone without a masters.” At the time she was a lawyer working at a mineral company.
Well, thru a co-worker she met a man who was merely an engineer and they’ve been together for 35 years. The co-worker, who was a dating fool at that time (a new ‘perfect’ mate every few months) ended up dating a secretary from the company, who had a young son, and they’ve been together for at least 30 years, with 4 more kids.
Sometimes a change of perspective is needed. Be more open, see the person not the wrapping.
15 Likes
I agree. Examining one’s perception and being willing to adapt may help when seeking a partner. I found the following article about hypogamy interesting. The comments didn’t surprise me, but I think it illustrates the uncertainty, fear and anger that societal changes bring.
1 Like
Gosh - that was depressing!
I liked the analogy of height filters in dating apps to bar bouncers. If women set a dating app height filter to six feet, that eliminates anyone below that standard from even getting into the proverbial bar and thus being considered. Then they followed up with the statistic that in the US only 14% of men are six feet or taller.
I’ve mentioned before that my ds is only 5’9” (which is average for the US). I think I am extra prickly about the height thing because of my mother-in-law. She has made several digs at me about my height (5’4”) over the years. I’ve heard her refer to a close friend of hers (who is 5’2”) as a, “midget.” She definitely believes that tall people are superior. And she has certainly lamented about how much she herself has, “shrunk.” She’s 86. I think she was 5’8 1/2” (maybe even 5’9”) and she is now under 5’6”. But stil taller than I am, so she can continue to belittle me (see what I did there??
)
7 Likes
My H is 5’9/10”. Plenty tall. I’m 5’4”.
My daughters are 5’0” (since 6th grade) and 5’3” (grew an inch after she was twenty, plus went up a shoe size). Pro: more men to be shorter than, Con: people think they are much younger than they are. It’s amazing how young they look standing next to taller women their age. One person thought my twenty one year old at the time was no more than 13.
4 Likes
I don’t think 5’9” is an issue as far as dating. It’s very average height and would not deter any but a very tall person and probably not even her.
I’ve told this story before. My daughter had 2 long term relationships before she met her now husband.
Both of those gentlemen were tall and blond. No facial hair.
Her husband is 5’6”, a dark hair and a beard. She married him. His height is not even an issue.
7 Likes
Deleted
1 Like