My D is 5’2” and S is 5’6”. Both have not mentioned their respective heights as problems. DIL is 5’4” or so and is fine with S’s height. I’m about 5’6” as is H.
D can and has passed as much younger than her mid-30s. She can pass as a teen, when she likes, depending on how she dresses.
My brothers are 5’11” and 6’1” and late bro was 6’3”. All had a lot of male & female friends. My 2 brothers married wives nearly a foot shorter than them. My younger brother has 2 D’s, both are only slightly taller than their mom. My other brother has 2 Ss and 2Ds. Oldest S is about 5’6” and has a wife slightly shorter. 2nd kid, a D is pretty tall—maybe 5’9”. Her H is close to her height. 3rd kid is male and maybe 6’ with finance about 5’5”. Youngest is a female about 5’6” and single.
I think it’s the height outliers that have the trouble. Lots of men are turned off by my d’s height - 5’11 1/2, in bare feet. She has no trouble dating someone shorter but it doesn’t seem that most men are comfortable with her.
Conversely, a dear male friend of mine in HS was 5’3- sweet, lovely, smart and amazing but it took a while for him to find a partner.
It’s not a simple black and white measure, such as height of x universally is or isn’t an issue. Instead the influence of height varies from one person to the next, as well as the preferred height of partner and preferred height difference. This makes the influence of height a gradual scale where taller generally increases odds of dating success for males, including increasing at heights well beyond 5’9". For example, a graph from the study at https://home.uchicago.edu/~hortacsu/online_dating_feb2005.pdf is pictured below. This study found males with a height of 6’3" to 6’4" had the highest rate of online dating first contacts. 5’9" was substantially lower and 5’6" was lower still.
I suspect online dating increases influence of height, as women often have a large number of contacts to go through, and height is a quick and easy way to filter. This can also lead to men lying/exaggerating about height in online profiles. Tinder had a successful April Fool’s joke about adding height verification to profiles .
I am not discounting anyone’s thoughts or feelings here but I have to admit that height has come up so often in this thread - and each time I’m perplexed why it seems to matter to some people so much. And it seems to always reference short guys.
Would a guy not date a women who was extremely short like 4’9”? Or would he or “we” just say “oh she’s so petite!” - like a compliment!
Can a guy be too tall that’s it’s a turn off? I bet some would say a very tall woman could be a turn off (I wouldn’t!)
It has never dawned on me that height is such a measure (no pun intended!)
I used to work with a woman who told her sons only to date tall women. Like insistent on it. They were tall (mom married a football player). She was overly concerned with the gene pool.
The reviews say this is sort of like a meet up and cc a way for new folks to the area or introverts to meet. The concept is ok but it is not intended as a dating app but a way to meet other men and women in an area.
The study I linked earlier suggested that for men, taller is generally better with no clear maximum. The height benefits may or may not level off above 6’4". Sample size is too small above 6’4" to state with certainty. However, for women the height with most responses was 5’3" to 5.8", rather than as short as possible. The author writes,
"Height matters for both men and women, but mostly in opposite directions. Women like tall men (figure 5.4). Men in the 6’3”-6’4” range, for example, receive about 60% more first contact e-mails than men in the 5’7”-5’8” range. In contrast, the ideal height for women seems to be in the 5’3”-5’8” range, while taller women experience increasingly worse outcomes. For example, the average 6’3” tall woman receives 40% fewer e-mails than a woman who is 5’5”.
That said, there are certainly individual persons whose preferences differ from the averages. Many people don’t really care about height, including myself. And some also have height preferences that are very different from above. When I was online dating 10+ years ago, I did go on 2-3 dates with a woman who was near the 4.9" height range you listed. I don’t remember the exact height, but it was short enough that she needed a special seat to see over the dashboard when driving. I expect the fact that I didn’t care about height made me stand out over the likely limited number of contacts she did have.
She mentioned that she had a problem with most guys that contacted her had some kind of short height fetish, rather than being interested in anything related to her profile content.
There are many other factors besides height than influences responses. One that may be particularly relevant to this website is education level. As shown in the picture below, college educated men for the most part don’t seem to care about their partner’s education level for first contacts – women that are HS graduates, college grads, and PhD/MD/JD all had a similar rate of contacts. However, among women with grad degrees, education level appears to be highly influential for first contacts. Highly educated women had a strong preference for their partner to also have or be well educated. Or it may be more generally a pattern of women not wanting partner to be less educated (or perhaps lower earning) than they are. Persons who did not attend college were somewhat of exception to this generalization. HS grads of both genders seem to prefer that their partner also did not attend college.
I would hope that many women don’t even set a height filter at all. That would be an interesting piece of information to know - what percentage of women on dating apps do set a height filter?
The phrase, “6 feet, 6 figures, 6 pack” exists for a reason. My guess is that many do set one.
If a high percentage of women set height filters (whether 6’ or 5’10” or whatever they set it to), and that is commonly known among those men who do use dating apps, it’s no wonder that some, “fudge,” about their height.
D2’s best friend sets a height filter for 6 feet and above on her dating apps. D2 has been telling her for the past year that she needs to remove that since she is not meeting anyone out there that she is connecting with!
Is the best friend particularly tall? Why does she have it set that way? The podcast alluded to women subconsciously seeking men who could provide protection (in a biological sort if way).
I can see if I were a particularly tall woman, I would maybe have a preference. Even more so if I were tall and enjoyed wearing heels. But I know plenty of couples where the woman is taller than her partner.
I mean, we all have our preferences/types. I prefer men with dark hair. But, I wouldn’t use that as a criterion. Because I might miss out on a wonderful blonde or red-headed man.
You know that even if the filter is set at 6 feet, they still get men as short as 5’9” who lie about their height? DD told me that some girls mark 6 feet on their doorway to check the actual height of the guys they see
If they can’t tell if the guy is ‘tall enough’ by just looking at him, does it really matter?
At a recent doctor’s appointment at a new practice, they told me I was 5’8". I said I wasn’t, that’s I’d always been 5’6 and 3/4" (so I use 5’7"). They insisted I’m 5’8". I’m not.
Her friend is probably 5’7", but she has always insisted on dating men 6 feet and above.
When I was dating I always preferred dark haired men, but did not limit myself to just them. H was darked haired, but now is completely gray, but has a great head of hair!
