3:50 mark et seq for why one should not lie about their weight (at least not to Batman). She gets called out by him around the 6:27 mark 
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Sorry, but I got hung up on this … The expired order of protection was against the former gf, or she had one on him?
I ask because I know a guy who had a TRO against an ex-gf and I don’t think that should be held against him. She was the one with the problem.
I expect there is a dramatically different rate of filtering based on which dating app, which relates to the format of the app. For example, I believe Tinder doesn’t have a height filter. Bumble, Hinge, and Match and most other popular dating apps have a height filter in the paid premium version, but not in the free version; and on many dating sites, most persons use the free version. However, many women manually filter based on height by reading the height number listed profile, even if they aren’t using the app’s auto filter. It also varies depending on the nature of the app. For example, Bumble is formatted such that women make the first contact, while on other apps men make the first contact. Which gender searches impacts the value of having a search filter for that gender.
This makes it difficult to give a specific number. Anecdotally many men have reported large changes in first contact results, if they increase the height in their profile. For example, there is a thread on Reddit about a 5’6" guy who changed the height is his Bumble profile to 6’1" as an experiment. He reported that the number of matches increased by a factor of 10x to 25x, after increasing his height by 5".
Regarding why men lie about height when the difference in height will be easily noticed in person, I expect that achieving first contact and moving on to meeting in person is seen as a positive that increases chance of overall success. I expect most women won’t run away from the date, if they see the guy is a couple inches shorter than listed in his profile. If there is a good connection during the date, the shorter height than expected also wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for many women. Ignoring ethnical considerations, I expect exaggerating height on profile increases odds of dating success.
Of course men are not the only people who lie on dating profiles, and height is not the only component of profile where people lie. Some of the other things people may lie about on profile include age, body type, income/job, interests, location, what type of relationship they are looking for, and marital status. Some also use old or heavily filtered/edited pictures, in rare cases pictures of an entirely different person.
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He assaulted her. She got an order of protection. He then claimed she had withdrawn it-- misunderstanding, etc. But in fact- she left the country.
My job was not to “hold anything against anyone”. My job (volunteer) was to take a bunch of conflicting, misleading, mysterious statements he had made to my friend and see if the pattern was “really great guy who is perpetually misunderstood by the legal system which is out to get him” or " guy who has had problems with women/teenagers in the past, including violent behavior which he does not acknowledge."
Who wants to be involved with a guy on the sex offender registry? Yeah, she looked 21 even though she was only 16. I’ve heard it before. She was asking for it. Etc. I don’t think women with healthy boundaries continue relationships with guys like that.
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Gotcha. I would word that as an “expired order of protection obtained BY a former girlfriend.”
Kevin Durant has been known to underestimate his height on his stats. He didn’t want to play center.
There are definitely vocations/exceptions where under-reporting weight/height happens… jockey, race car driver, etc. My guess Kevin Durant did not have issues finding a date lol.
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I could see women wanting someone a bit taller than themselves, but to set an arbitrary height seems … well, arbitrary and narrows the field considerably.
I doubt they ask someone they meet in public how tall they are, if they otherwise like them. I am 5-1 ish, and married a man who is 6-6. He’s convenient for reaching things without me using a step stool all the time, but otherwise his height has never really factored into anything (our children are adopted, so they didn’t inherit it).
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S and DIL are close in height, with him a bit taller. I remember her telling him that sometimes she’s going to wear heels (and be taller) and he just had to get over it. And he did/does.
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As did Tom Cruise when he was married to Nicole Kidman.
My kids are both about 5’4". One is married to a guy who is 6’5", the other to a guy who is about 5’8". I don’t think either cares and base shoe choice on what makes HER look good in her outfit (although one did want to wear pretty high heels with her wedding dress to even out the height for pictures; didn’t work, he still looked a foot taller). Both have to move the seat in the car if the husband has been driving before her, but one has to move it A LOT.
But I can understand a woman who is 5’10" marking the dating profile as wanting someone over 6’.
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LOL - just a nit, made me laugh. Delta is actually 7”. But wowser on the 10x (or more) response rate!
I wish I could remember the news show, but years ago they did a story on how men are judged on height. They had a man who was successful, handsome,in shape, balding and maybe 5’7”. I can’t remember the details, but the women interviewed admitted his height was the issue
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From prominent teaching blogger Nancy Flanagan
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Thank you for posting that.
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In my S’s AP US history class, S was one of only 2 boys in the class. Everyone else was female. The validictorian in his HS class was female.
Circling back to the height issue, I have to say it gives me hope for my unconfident son. At least his 6’3" is something he has going for him!
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Most of that article is about today’s politics, not relevant to a parent cafe discussion, but I found the rest of it somewhat incoherent: saying that boys rise to the challenge and perform better in math tests in no way conflicts with girls doing better in areas like law and medical school admissions today (we’ve talked before about girls doing relatively better with GPA and boys doing relatively better with high stakes tests). More to the point, she seems glad that we’ve moved away from boys being called on more often and praised more by teachers, but perplexed that they are no longer interested in school.
I don’t know how many have seen Adolescence, which is truly distressing, but what this article misses completely is the school environment that the Netflix show is set in. The teachers have completely lost control and it’s an environment where physical violence and bullying is commonplace. The story is that a seemingly normal boy resorts to violence (and kills a classmate) in response to bullying. What’s unusual is that he comes from an intact, middle class family (with a self employed father) who love each other (so viewers are supposed to imagine themselves in this position).
On the opposite end of the scale is this British school environment which expects a lot of poor kids, and sees great success amongst both girls and boys (sorry the gift link I was sent has expired, maybe someone has another):
Gift link
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It’s not just normal bullying – he kills a female classmate due to “incel” culture (involuntary celibacy), which closely relates to the subject of this thread. According to the show, the incel group of males makes claims, such as 80% of women are attracted to 20% of men, implying that the vast majority of men will struggle to find a significant other. This culture blames women for their lack of romantic success, with online groups that support anger and aggression towards the rejecting women. The 13-year-old lead character and his friends were part of this online community, which led to further spiraling and believing a romantic relationship was near impossible for him. When a popular girl in the class rejects his attempt at a romantic relationship and is perceived to publicly mock him on social media, by implying he will be unsuccessful with women via emojies (and likely makes some off screen comments when interacting in person), he kills her using a knife given by one of his supportive friends.
This description makes the show sound more disturbing than it actually is. There is little on screen physical violence. Instead the show focuses on how and why it happened, and how it impacts the family. The show is almost universally regarded as exceptionally well made, including things like filming every episode in what appears to be a single continuous take.
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I like your description, but what I think is so powerful about the story is that we are supposed to realize how normalized and insidious this type of bullying has become.
Last week I relative told me about a teen boy they kinow who was sent to boarding school after a deep fake video was made of him having sex with another boy. I think everyone knew it was fake, but he still became such a target that his parents thought they should remove him from the school environment. The boy who made the deep fake was his "friend’ and was expelled. This is in an upper-middle class school and district.
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