<p>DD’s boyfriend of 1.5 years has invited my husband and I to have dinner with him tomorrow evening. We are certain that the purpose is to ask to marry DD. DD is 24 and boyfriend is 28. Both have good jobs in the same city. He owns a house, while she has an apartment with a roommate. This next step isn’t a surprise to us, but I’m sure he is nervous about the dinner anyway.</p>
<p>We really like the boyfriend, and DD seems very happy with him. He has even been on vacation with our family. I don’t want him to feel that it is an inquisition, but what, if anything, would you ask him? From DD, we know that he was engaged previously to someone else. We understand that he broke off the engagement, and then happened to meet DD a few weeks later. Would you ask about the previous engagement?</p>
<p>I wouldn’t ask a darn thing! My H was engaged before he met me. My dad would not have thought to ask him anything about that engagement… I didn’t ask too much either.
Best wishes to them both!</p>
<p>Personally, I would not ask him about his past engagement. </p>
<p>When my daughter’s husband asked us to marry our daughter, my husband told him that after marriage, there was a strict ‘no give back’ policy. That made everyone chuckle and helped ease his nervousness.</p>
<p>There is nothing to ask. This young man is being quite respectful of you as parents and following a time-honored tradition of asking for your daughter’s hand, something that in reality he has absolutely no need to do and no requirement to follow your acceptance or denial.</p>
<p>Be happy and proud that he is making this effort and treating you both this way.</p>
<p>Ask him if he’d like to pay cash up front, or go with the extended payment credit plan, for the privilege of marrying your daughter . Congrats to you and your D!! And hey…if he falls for the joke, so much the better!!</p>
<p>How lovely!! I don’t think there’s anything to ask him either. It’s not like the old days, when this was an inquisition. Just be warm and welcoming. He’s probably as nervous as can be, and he’ll remember this evening forever.</p>
<p>I agree. When my daughter’s now husband called my husband to ask for permission, I don’t think my husband asked him any mind blowing questions - certainly nothing about previous relationships (how awkward would that be?). Knowing my husband, he probably harassed him and teased him a bit. But he was used to that.</p>
<p>Nothing! Do NOT ask about a previous engagement. I was engaged shortly before my current bf and I started going out and that would not be a comfortable conversation with my bf’s parents. </p>
<p>Just let things go naturally and don’t inquire. Just enjoy the night :)</p>
<p>I never thought to ask my future in-laws about proposing to their D. My wife was also engaged prior to meeting me and to be honest I never asked her about it or any of her previous boyfriends.
We were both 29/30 when we got engaged so asking about past relationships seemed pointless. We both had them.</p>
<p>Daughter’s boyfriend came over last February to “talk” with us. Of course, we immediately knew that he planned to talk engagement/marriage. He was quite nervous though as others have mentioned it was more a courtesy “heads up” than anything else. We appreciated the gesture and let him know that he would be a welcome addition to the family. Any questions asked were more or less generic ones.</p>
<p>As a father of daughters myself, I would slightly disagree. I would ask the following questions:</p>
<p>Do you love her?
Do you respect her?
Have you been honest with her, so that she can make an informed decision?
Do you understand that we will always be a part of her life, and therefore yours?</p>
<p>Remember that in this day and age, he is not asking your permission, he is asking for your blessing - it is reasonable to ask those questions outright that you need to be sure when you give that blessing.</p>
<p>But be gentle with the boy - this is a tough thing to do. Unlike first dates, this is a good time to make sure all firearms are out of sight!</p>
. Congrats to you and your D!! And hey…if he falls for the joke, so much the better!!</p>