I have some, albeit dated, experience in this arena. My wife is a very bright woman who is really dyslexic and at an event near graduation, the wife of the principal of her high school said, “Dear, you are dyslexic.” My wife got no accommodations and went to art school and is now an artist who shows at museums and galleries around the US, Canada and elsewhere.
My sister (a clinical neuropsychologist) pulled me aside after a visit and said that we should get ShawSon (then in the 2nd grade) tested. He was obviously extraordinarily smart but he was having trouble learning to read. She predicted that there would be a 50 point gap between verbal and performance IQ scores with performance IQ at roughly the median. I had to push the school to do the testing (because he was so bright he did not appear to be having much trouble) and later also got private testing. My sister was uncannily accurate. Even with that diagnosis, we had to negotiate to get accommodations and virtually every year the teachers would override the agreed accommodations in his IEP, which in HS included double time on testing, and I had to meet with many of them. We kept the testing up to date and the ACT accepted the accommodation but the The College Board (SAT) did not. I had to appeal to get the accommodation and ended up having a long conversation with a staff psychologist at The College Board before getting the requested accommodation. It took a year and much work on my part to get that approval. His special ed caseworker at the public HS was angry because, she said, in our affluent town, she saw families who had been able to pay for diagnoses that would get 50% extra time with no problem (and no obvious need that she could see). ShawSon attended a very highly ranked LAC and graduated summa cum laude with lots of A+s and received several awards for academic excellence.
ShawD was different. She was very anxious, which we knew. She had a very serious medical condition (it appeared she was losing her vision) and we did not identify her ADHD until we solved the medical problem. She attended a private HS and the psychologist there recommended that we get her tested and suggested a private and quite expensive clinical psychologist. This psychologist which diagnosed ADHD (which was entirely consistent with her behavior as she could not stay seated ever for a full dinner and gave us a floor show with almost every dinner). She received 50% extra time. It turned out that with the extra time, her anxiety was reduced, and she did very well on the tests and rarely used much if any extra time, but if she did not have extra time, her performance deteriorated.
@tsbna44, as to success afterwards, both kids have done very well post college. ShawSon started a company, got an MS in computational and mechanical engineering and an MBA at a prestigious school, started a fintech company (the first one is still running) and raised his seed round while still in school and was in Forbes 30 under 30. The company has been written about in the national press when they did subsequent funding rounds. That said, his disabilities affected his career choices. He chose not to go to a firm like McKinsey which would have put stress on his slower speed in reading / writing but he could easily have succeeded at a quantitative hedge fund or doing strategy/M&A for a tech firm. When he was in business school, he said, “Dad, I could be good as the CEO of a big company but I could never rise to be the CEO unless a company I started was acquired by a bigger one.” It would have been unwise to have gone to law school or tried to work as a lawyer.
ShawD studied to be a nurse practitioner and started work at age 23 as an NP. When she was doing clinical training at Brigham and Women’s Hospital (one of Harvard’s main teaching hospitals) as part of her schooling, more than one doctor pulled her over to say that she was so bright that she should go to medical school. She wanted to get school over with and wanted to be a mother and did not want to be in med school, internship, residency and fellowships for a near eternity. She has been doing primary care, which is a very good fit for her ADHD (new problems every half hour or fifteen minutes). It turns out that many of her patients are doctors and families of doctors at Mass General and Brigham hospitals. The company she works for asked her at age 30 to be the medical director of a clinic (where she supervises the medical work of doctors, NPs and PAs pretty much all older then she is and some much older) and the following year asked her to be the director of a second clinic as well. She is tiring of demands of primary care and is working on a certificate in psychiatric health.
@tsbna44, I think that learning disabilities that require academic accommodations need not imply weaker performance in jobs. The trick is to a career path that plays to one’s strengths and downplays reliance on one’s weaknesses. That is good advice for folks without leaning disabilities as well.
A few years ago, some affluent families were seeking some extra time and anecdotally, some were getting it. That made it harder, as someone above pointed out, for kids with legitimate learning disabilities to get the accommodations they needed. My own experience is that it took a lot of work, some skill and a fair bit of money to get accommodations for kids who need it. Many parents would not be able to thread the needle (every year for a number of years) but clearly it was possible for affluent parents to get lower levels of accommodation for kids who many not have been so deserving.