<p>Robi, all my best wishes & prayers for you and your family. </p>
<p>I know I’m a little late to the party about D (and I’m glad that her attitude has improved), but I have a thought about her attitude towards S. He got sick and D was the only one around, if I remember correctly (and if not, you can stop reading now.) She had to take charge and do all sorts of very “grown-up” stuff for him on her own. Is it possible that once you got there, she sighed to herself (not consciously, of course), “Great. Now Mom & Dad are here, they can take care of brother, and I can be a kid again”? Without realizing how far she had dumped “caretaker” back on to you?</p>
<p>I hope all your tests go well, and S will now take the surgeon’s warnings more seriously. Perhaps the surgeon can say to S: “These are the real side effects or problems that can arise - these are the ones that are more likely and that I’m worried about. The others - yeah some of them are for legal reasons, but these are not. These are real and serious.” S may then be able to take those warnings and recommendations to heart.</p>
<p>I am so sorry for what you are going through. I hope your son’s health improves.</p>
<p>But it seems there is a lot of focus on the daughter in this thread. Maybe also your son needs some discussions also - taking care of his health, updating his parents, etc, should have been his responsibility. If he was in bed in pain for 2 days or very sick he should have made the call home. And now you say he is a non-compliant patient ? In his own way, he is also being irresponsible and non-caring. To not call you when he is ill or in severe pain, shows a disregard for your feelings. And to refuse to follow dr instructions is irresponsible. I know he is sick, but unfortunately, nobody can care for his body except himself. </p>
<p>I hope that he has not been readmitted to the hospital, and I pray he will continue to heal.</p>
<p>My heart goes out to you and to your whole family!<br>
If your family could afford it, I would suggest engaging a home help for every day and for a home care nurse tor every day as well. The home help could do basic chores, shop for food and make meals, perhaps several at one time. I’d suggest as well that your H stay home instead of facing 4 hours commute every day. You and your son would not be able to rely on him for help during the 12 hours (8 hours +4 of commute) he would be at work or on the road. Besides, the gas money saved might actually pay for home help. Think about it. </p>
<p>Marching in May/June is far more fun than in January. That’s when schools pull out all the stops. </p>