<p>without fairly concrete evidence there is little CPS can do. mspearl seems to be doing what she can, while keeping the child with her most of the time, to find a long term solution. She did not witness harm to the baby, she can’t report that. She is having an actual witness do the reporting. </p>
<p>Keep going mspearl, you are on the right track.</p>
<p>Oops, sorry Donna, I just realized that when I mentioned the father in my last post I unintentionally called her a him. No slight intended: an autopilot error triggered by the word “father.” I realize that this father is a she (And I always refer to trans people I know in real life as he or she according to their chosen identity. I know both transwomen and transmen.)</p>
<p>Calling cps does not always unleash a legal juggernaut. We hear about some cases where kids are instantly removed, we get the images. But, there has to be “no obvious alternative” at that moment. No chance that talking, counseling, respite, nothing, will resolve the immediate issue. Some proof the child has been harmed or placed at risk. Obvious immediate danger and- very important- an “obvious” place to take the kids to. That’s not as snap as some may think. </p>
<p>The great value in reporting is that a record is either started or the new input is added. Not all cps is staffed enough to go out on every complaint. In my area, (whether or not a site visit took place,) these comments would be tracked. If roommate has ever been on public support (counseling?) or assistance for the baby, she is likely in the system. If she has ever had public issues, this would also be noted in her record.</p>
<p>I am sorry but I do not think just a report a woman spanked her kid will get the baby removed. I am aware of far worse that still resulted in maintaining the family unit. The system is overstretched and there aren’t enough foster folks.</p>
<p>But, it is very important to add your voice, when you feel a child’s welfare is at risk.</p>
<p>If nothing else, it will get the attention of the roommate and of B’s dad and, hopefully, help them understand the seriousness of the roommate’s behavior.</p>
<p>mspearl,
Not sure what state you are in, but its likely your nursing licensing law compels you to report when you have reason to suspect child abuse or neglect. You don’t have to do the investigation-- thats up to CPS. But you DO have to report and share your concerns, even if some of it is second hand. The very fact that you have a healthcare background will give your report credibility to the child protective services agency. Once you have made the report (about both children) it is up to them to take it from there, but you really have no choice, and I am guessing the person /friend who was telling you all this knows that and perhaps thats in part why this was disclosed to you. If something were to happen to either of those children and it came to light that you had knowledge and did not report, you and your license could be in a world of hurt.</p>
<p>I have had to make reports and its no fun. I may tell the parent that these services are there in part to help them access support/resources with proper parenting, and that this is to help them and their child, not to punish them.</p>
<p>Good luck, but make the call and give them as much information as you know, and what is confirmed with first or second hand information. Often this information is second hand, so dont let that stop you. They will contact who they feel they need to to do the investigation.</p>
<p>jym-that’s exactly what I was thinking. It appears that nurses are mandated reporters in most states, and in 18 states ANYONE suspecting abuse or neglect is REQUIRED to report. See here:
[Mandatory</a> Reporters of Child Abuse and Neglect: Summary of State Laws](<a href=“http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/manda.cfm]Mandatory”>http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/manda.cfm)</p>
<p>As well, giving a minor alcohol is a crime and/or child endangermen/abuse or neglect in many states (note: even if they aren’t drunk). So is using illegal drugs (i.e. pot) in front of a minor. See here:
[Parental</a> Drug Use as Child Abuse](<a href=“http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/drugexposed.cfm]Parental”>http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/drugexposed.cfm)</p>
<p>I thought most people knew such things. I know I did. Perhaps I was wrong that these things are common knowledge. And yes, I’m well aware that CPS makes the wrong decisions sometimes. My own state just settled a huge lawsuit on behalf of some young women who were dreadfully abused for years while CPS didn’t remove them, even though reports had been made. But I’m also aware of young children who were killed or badly hurt by parent figures for things like having trouble potty training. According to MY state’s guidelines, one possible sign of child abuse is the parent discussing the child is very negative terms and/or harsh discipline. Isn’t that how the OP says her friend described this mom’s talk about her baby?</p>
<p>As for ■■■■■■■■-I SAID I knew OP was not a ■■■■■, but that the story was so fantastical that it could seem so. She put it better herself-it’s so crazy that you can’t make this stuff up. That’s what I meant-what a terrible hand the poor kids have been dealt-to have everyone around them falling down on their jobs as parents and parent figures in such outrageous ways. And I do think that the father is a participant in that she explains away or rationalizes what’s happened. That teeters on the edge of neglect as well. There was another local case where the stepmother was terribly abusing a young girl and father knew but did nothing for whatever reasons. He was charged too.</p>
<p>At the least, these people need intensive parenting classes. Our area has a wonderful program where kids in danger go to a special daycare while the parents get classes. The teen is lucky to have people outside her home who care, but she too, needs to be safe while the parents in her life get straigtened out. Yet another local case I heard about last night-young girl ran away due to her messed up home life and ended up in prostitution. </p>
<p>Think of me what you will-I’ve been losing sleep over the welfare of these two kids and I don’t even know where they are or their names. If I was the OP, I’d have called about both long ago. At least I would know someone with some level of knowledge and authority had the information.</p>
<p>29 states allow underage drinking with parental permission, on private, non-alcohol-selling premises. Just saying.</p>
<p>There is a lot of empathy running through this thread. Some posters might want to consider becoming foster parents and specifying their willingness to work with emergency placements and all ages. Terrible shortages.</p>
<p>I for one would certainly foster a 10 month old baby who was being slapped.</p>
<p>Again, without getting into the individual legal statutes of providing alcohol to a minor, it is up to the CPS to determine if they need to open a case file and investigate. The licensed medical professional in almost every state has to report suspected abuse or neglect.</p>
<p>I called social services many years ago because the neighbor a few doors down had a front door their 3 year old could unlock, and I found the child wandering outside several times – and we live on a major creek! I suggested that they put a security chain or something on their door, but they didn’t want to damage the door. I don’t know what exactly social services did, but the house did sport a higher lock within a few weeks after I called. I don’t need to know what they did – and maybe they saw that the mom was struggling with a bad marriage and two young kids (and a husband who asked her while she was in the hospital after giving birth to #2 whether she’d mind if he went on a several month climbing expedition!!!) They probably knew I was the one who called, but I don’t particularly care.</p>