I pay the $20 for earlier boarding on Southwest, does that count?
It is so interesting to read all of the responses and the ways in which we are all different.
I am thankful to be in a place to make these choices. I went away with some friends last weekend and realized that my budget and theirs is quite different when a second very expensive bottle of wine was ordered with dinner - I have never spent that much on a meal for myself before and feel no need to.
I spend on my gym, which is not the most expensive in the area but is also not the $20 per month cheap place. I take an art class. I go out to eat fairly often, even though most of the meals are not that pricey. I get my hair cut and colored at a decent, but not super pricey place (but it is still too expensive). I won’t stay at a very cheap hotel, but don’t need the Ritz.
It also depends on the definition of a splurge. One person may think spending $100 on a purse is average, and another would classify that as expensive.
To insure a clean place to lay my head when traveling.
Someone mentioned health insurance. Is that really considered “discretionary spending”?
I am not comfortable answering this question except to say that I don’t care about cars at all and would never spend a lot of money on one. I don’t judge you for your Mercedes or whatever, and won’t be embarrassed to ride in it with you, but I just don’t value nice cars.
There can be limited discretion on health care costs. For insurance, the choice of plan in terms of what is covered versus what is out of pocket can exist, depending on if you are in a situation that has a choice of plans (not all people do have a choice, since an employer or the ACA exchange in their area may offer only one). Some health care choices are in theory somewhat discretionary, but many people have difficulty getting enough information about costs and effectiveness of various choices to make a well informed decision (see the current thread about dentist issues, for example).
I recognize that I am very inconsistent. I was looking for a shoe shelf solution for all my shoes in the garage, and I was willing to spend $15 but not willing to spend $40, but I will go out for dinner 2 or 3 times a week and have no problem spending $50 or $60. My wife is obsessive about monitoring and comparing gas prices. If we fill up at $2.59 and we pass a station selling at $2.55 she cries in despair! I have to remind her we are talking about a total difference of fifty cents.
I spent $150 on a pair of running shoes, and $15 a pair socks. They are really comfortable running shoes and socks!
DH and I spent quite a bit of money at Columbia store or similar outdoor places online to outfit ourselves. We are ready to hike some blue ridge mountain trails tomorrow. DH and I also do some races together.
After years of Toyota’s and Honda, we bought a BMW 5 series in cash…that was 9 years ago. We haven’t gone out to eat other than vacations for a long time! We bought bags of mulches ourselves this year, instead of having them delivered, DH loves to tell me how much money he is saving us for cutting our own grass that I should agree for him to buy another big lense. His main spend is cameras and lenses.
I know some folks who choose not to spend money on health insurance of any sort - even when offered through their employer for roughly $90/month. They paid the fine when that was necessary and complained that they didn’t have enough money so life wasn’t fair. Of course, the same folks have no problem spending oodles of money on the lottery (more than $90/month) or buying new clothes rather than washing what they have on a regular basis, so yes, apparently spending on health insurance is discretionary. Folks have to choose to do it.
I’ll admit I grumble when their health needs get covered by the state since they’re “too poor.” I grumble even more when they complain about the care they receive and who they have to see. I’ve even done the math for them and pointed out how much annually they have to win on the lottery to make a profit, but supposedly I don’t know anything.
(One might be able to tell this is a sore point with me. I have no problem with discretionary money used anywhere one likes, but I feel needs should be paid for first along with feeling that health care coverage of some type should be in the need category. Apparently that thought is optional and varies among humans.)
I won’t spend a penny on anything I can do or make myself, and the first question I ask before any purchase is do I absolutely need this/have to have it in order to survive. Pretty much the only items that pass this test eventually are food and health items. I make a game out of seeing if I can get monthly expenditure to nothing but groceries. Many of our friends pity my husband, but he decided long ago to consider my quirks charming. I do not impose the same restrictions on him, but I find parting with any amount of money extremely painful. Our son’s HS education almost killed me. 
Good thing he didn’t cost you anything for college, @ChoatieMom!
And your cautious spending has paid off as your are already retired.
It’s hard for us to splurge - I think we need more practice.
When I travel alone, I splurge on paying for exactly the airline and seat I want, but I rarely fly so it doesn’t add up to much. I splurge on hotels when I drive solo to see my kids. I’ll take 2 nights to do the 14 hour drive to North Carolina, so that I can drive more scenic routes and take little breaks throughout the day. Maybe I’m only staying at a Marriott or Hilton brand, but i’m spending twice as much as I have to because I’m staying the extra night. I’m retired now, so I have the time, which is itself a kind of splurge.
@Creekland - how in the world do people who have the option go without health insurance? I couldn’t sleep at night! However, I do know people like you described. I have no sympathy and hate being responsible for other people’s poor choices.
@Bestfriendsgirl They simply decline it and spend their $$ on other things in life. It doesn’t matter at all what anyone says about experiences, risk, or whatever. I think they’re crazy and also have no sympathy when they have health issues (all of us do sooner or later). I’ll admit it annoys me when they get at least some health care for free (tax dollars) when they tell their sob story about being “so poor” completely leaving out the part about what they choose to spend their money on (like the lottery).
I haven’t totally figured out whether there’s something wrong in the brain understanding finances or whether they’re knowingly gaming the system. This is hardly the only bad choice made with finances. I know this person very well and they’ve declared bankruptcy twice already plus have had family and several churches helping them out over the years giving them a place to live for free/cheap - even a car once. When the church finally wises up they just move on to the next one or a sympathetic internet friend they’ve sold their sob story to. This is a college educated person and they can be quite the believable talker/typer for anyone who doesn’t know them.
It seriously seems like there’s no possibility of changing the behavior when it comes to finances. Get $$$ in, spend them on whatever you want (diamond earrings once), and when it comes time to paying for needs - claim poverty. “No, I can’t afford to get my son a birthday card - for $1 at Dollar General - or a present. You have no idea how poor I am!”
I’ve literally done the math for this person several times. It doesn’t matter.
Honestly, I have no problem with whatever folks want to spend their discretionary money on, but bills (rent, food, health care, etc) should be paid first rather than expecting charity or tax dollars for those.
We’ve also had a couple of tenants that fit the same profile so I doubt it’s all that rare. We’ve learned to be super cautious when we need a new tenant and I’m also super cautious when I donate money to charity, esp to individuals.
Cumulatively, my discretionary spending is very high. But I don’t spend a lot on anything, just on a lot of experiences (not things). I love a good discount. We spend a ton on travel, hobbies, dining out, theater, concerts, sporting events and entertainment. I will spend $200-$350 on a nice restaurant meal on holidays, however.
Thought this was the perfect thread for this article.
I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately. I was very frugal my whole life, till the past few years. Where I started splurging on many things. I make enough that if I want to go on a trip, I just go. If I want that coach bag, I go buy it. If I want to randomly buy my boyfriend a box of legos, I do so. But yet, I still can’t justify spending more than like ten dollars on a shirt or 25 on jeans. But yet i’ll drop 200 bucks on tickets to an event. I don’t feel bad about it… I work very hard for my money and it feels great to spend it on things/experiences .that I enjoy. 
It’s bizarre the way my mind works.
Hi @fendergirl!! Long time no see!! Your reasoning makes total sense to me. I think it comes to what we consider value. I love finding deals, and love that I just found a way to get a room at a 4 star resort (that normally costs over $300/night) for $122 plus junk resort fees, and then I’ll get $40 back on my amex card as part of a promotion! Score!! I love finding deals on the web
Would I comfortably spend $300+ a night on a hotel room if I didn’t have to? Probably not, unless they were all in that range (like when we went to Seattle before a cruise— they were all in that range) . But then in turn I was texting with my younger son about ideas for his upcoming birthday, and would happily get him a gift card to a very nice restaurant, or a concert or what have you. He chose tickets to a baseball game for himself and his wife. Perfect. Its easier for him to buy them himself and I’ll venmo him the $, and I was perfectly fine with his buying very good seats- didn’t really care too much about the cost.
We will now spend more for convenience (eg we took a short ski trip with the kids/spouses/ grandbaby) and needed an easy ski in/out so we could cake turns easily babysitting. The long weekend we went there happened to be a big competition going on, so the condos. (we needed a 3 BR at least) were $$$$. SO I shopped around, found the lowest I could on the condos at the base, and was thrilled that I found a “deal” that was lower than others for the same location, but it was still $$$$$$$. No problem. Paid it happily (and got $70 back from mrrebates).
I am still frugal in many ways, but am also now equally ok with spending for what I consider value. I don’t want to throw away money unnecessarily, but if its justified in my mind, I will not bat an eye. Thats the beauty of having been careful with $ and saving so that now we have th luxury of splurging and spending at our discretion.
Funny about that article about traveling - that’s exactly what we did for trips to Jordan and China. The individual guide route was great. The year we went to Jordan we asked for 3-star as opposed to 5-star hotels. Since it was the year of the Arab spring, tourism was way down and we actually ended up being upgraded at a number of locations. Being able to linger when we wanted to, change our minds and set the intinerary was great. And having a guide where we could not even read the writing much less speak the language was priceless. (In Europe we are very much do it ourselfers.)
Well, $9 of my pocket money today just paid for 3 students to be able to watch a fundraiser movie.
Personally I despise when school sets up these fundraisers that leave the lowest socio-economic kids out. (sigh) Not everyone has a spare $3.
Fortunately I like the cause - Environmental Club - and the movie sounds interesting - The Plastic Ocean. I won’t be able to see it though. Some kids need to make up tests from prior absences.
Plus… I feel fortunate that $9 is easy pocket change for us. I told these kids that someday they can pay it forward when they are out in the world with jobs. I suspect they will.
I still won’t pay $1 more for some name brand products though if I like less expensive alternatives. ?