Full disclosure: I haven’t read the long TG thread, but from what I can gather, it’s about turkeys n stuff. I could be wrong. So I think this is a different kind of thread.
My TG shall be spectacular if it doesn’t kill me. Throw together my borderline personality disorder sister-in-law, who recently hinted all over Facebook that she may have been battered by her new, third husband, but maybe not, but we have to invite them both so that she brings her son, whom we need to keep connected to, and also husband’s sort of odd sister;
add my prickly conservative, recently widowed brother–who demands no one mention this state;
the absence of my D’s MIL who was supposed to come but got her feelings hurt, don’t ask;
the absence of my H’s brother, who is about to get divorced, and is all alone because his wife and daughter are having TG without him, but won’t admit it and come join us;
my stray-needs-a-place to go, sort of New Agey but cool recently reconnected to old friend,
plus the usual assortment of my mom, sister, kids, and son-in-law.
I’m not sure which is stressing me more: the ones showing up, or the drama of the ones who aren’t.
The stray New Agey friend could be a godsend in this situation. Remember when Harry Potter brought Luna Lovegood to a Christmas party? Send her off to calm the aura of the SIL, her possibly abusive husband and the odd sister.
And have champagne handy. For yourself. Don’t let the crazy and aggressive people get drunk, they’ll probably get crazier. Keep repeating to yourself, “it’s only a few hours, it’s only a few hours…”
Just have few drinks while you are cooking and you will be fine.
In the rehearsal dinner without drinks thread, my thought was the reason you need to serve drinks is because of dysfunctional family.
Garland - it is not family unless it is dysfunctional.
You need to go find past Holiday Hootnannys from the Carolyn Hax advice columnist’s live online sessions. She does one every year and they’re hysterical. There’s an archive. Trust me, nothing you’ve described touches any of the stories I’ve seen.
I’ve never had a human emergency on Thanksgiving but we’ve twice had to take animals to the emergency vet. (Thankfully for my wallet, neither of them have been my animals.)
Not surprisingly, the emergency vet is pretty full on Thanksgiving. So a reminder to people: keep your humans AND animals safe.
(Physically, at least. Mentally… you’re on your own )
ETA: Also, only one of the animals was for a reason you’d think. The other time a dog got into a fight with a deer and the deer won. Dog was lucky to survive.
Nothing like perspective! Thanks, folks! Only time we’ve had first responders was when barbecuing and neighbors called FD cuz flames too high. Not TG, but come to think of it, crazy SIL was there.
Bless you for being the one willing to open their home to this assortment of people!
Can you beg BIL to please be with your family on some pretense so that he doesn’t have to admit he is alone ?
Last night I told all the company at 8:30 that I was taking a bath and heading to bed , just too, too tired to stay up. The wine was already in my glass in the bathroom. You need some alone time in the middle of it all to decompress so that you enjoy being with everyone.
OMG, this thread makes me laugh and cry. Keep the wine handy. I will long remember the Luna Lovegood effect the next time I need a strategy for a dyfunctional family group. Good luck!
Borderline. Sympathies. Say no more, as I have plenty of experience with this version of drama. Wishing you no hurt feelings, and a happy moment by moment day.
Also, am I the only one who does this? I show up to a party full of functional people – or people pretending to be so – and before long I’m looking for the dysfunctional people? Cos its more fun playing ping pong with the stoners in the basement?
@wasatchwriter I grew up with parents who… ahem… never left the 70s? I don’t feel comfortable unless I’m with the stoners… Besides, they’re way more fun.
)