I call normal folks “mashed potatoes”.
Bland.
That said, I cannot take the drama but then am restless and bored with the others.
Yep, I am down in the basement.
I am already restless about T-day and we are with such lovely and nice friends…
My two Thanksgiving dinners should be relatively functional. (Or it may be that my definition is now far too flexible.)
My friend who’s throwing the Thursday event thinks the meal should be all about excessive excess, but took my word that she had plenty planned already. That’ll ratchet things down a smidge. Despite being a foodie, she claims she doesn’t know how to make gravy, so we’ll get our wine and I’ll help her, use that time to listen to her issues with her grown son and make her feel loved. Maybe I’ll rant about something, maybe my brother’s divorce. She’ll probably feel better about her DIL after hearing about my SIL and by the time we sit down, we’ll be fine.
And my younger kid already told me what I’m not allowed to bring up, when my nuclear family (and this obsessive friend and her husband) gets together on Saturday. I’ll make the kids do the dishes. They’ll fuss over who’s doing more.
I’d suggest going around the table before eating and asking each person to say something that they have been thankful for in the past year. We’ve done this several times, and even the crankiest people sometimes say some really lovely things!
Or the plumber. Ok…would someone elaborate on why normal people are boring? You don’t have to be stoned or drunk to be witty, fascinating, charming and fun to be around, and many of those “normal” people have just worked their butts off to put a nice dinner on the table for you.
I find people who just sit there waiting to be entertained quite “boring”
We will be with the more functional side of our family this year. They are so fiercely functional that I will spend the entire day with them and know next to nothing about what is going on in their lives at the end of the day. It always feels a little hollow to me. I often ask the wrong question or bring up the wrong topic during the day, at least I think that is what the brief glare and then smiling silence is all about. The other side way over shares and we often include non-family or distant family since the hostess loves to have a full house. It can be a little unpredictable but is more satisfying somehow. Regardless, there will be pie. :x
I don’t think the terms functional and normal should be synonymous with tight lipped and overly sensitive. I belueve functional and normal knows how to share information about their lives appropriately and knows the boundaries of when something shouldn’t be asked or shared.
Ain’t no such thing as a normal family. We all have our dysfunctions – they are just different family to family, that’s all. My family of origin is nutty on dimensions A, B, and C and my husband’s family is nutty on dimensions D, E, and F. Naturally I think being nutty on A, B, and C is normal and D, E, and F are awful!!
I have had some oddball Thanksgivings when I used to go to MA to spend them with my family. My BIL has a pretty nasty daughter, you know the type…always pissing someone off to the point that no one wants to invite her to gatherings .My nephew married someone a lot like her and my own sister is pretty offensive too.
I will enjoy our small , but peaceful gathering , but I will miss my oldest . She can’t be here for both Thanksgiving and Christmas so she and her fiancé will be hosting his family . She is the only one of my three who likes to cook and would be a big help. I know her meal will be awesome
No one is “normal” in our family. We are as oddball as it gets. Mostly, that’s fine. But sometimes the drama-junkies can be stressful.
If it were just stoners in the basement, that would be fine. I’d probably join them myself. However, we don’t have a usable basement. Not sure we have stoners, either. Mostly drinkers. We have two tiny rooms for people to crowd into (small living room, smaller dining room), plus they can bump into the cooks in the tiny, galley kitchen. Or dodge cars while playing football in the street–a perennial favorite around here. 
And yes, there will be some drinking of wine.
I guess it’s just getting old, but I don’t feel pull of siblings as much as I used to during holidays. Maybe it’s too much talk about our latest ailments and such - another plus of getting old. But I’m grateful that we can have a big family gathering and my son will know that kind of Thanksgiving dinner.
And we have had the ambulance Thanksgiving visit. I wouldn’t recommend it 
I’m mostly just pre-holiday venting here, but here’s my main thing. I love Thanksgiving. My goal is it not be something I just “get through”, but a positive, loving occasion for everyone who gives it a chance to be that. So what stresses me is the idea of it being something that anyone “just gets through.” Sigh. Anyone who shows up with goodwill, should have a good day.
Dont wory, conmama, we try to find what we can appreciate.
The picture in my head of “normal” is the leave it to beaver family. I don’t smoke nor do I think you need to smoke or drink to have fun.
I don’t think anyone is really normal and I said it as a joke more than anything. Didn’t think it would rub anyone the wrong way…
But I would still be hanging out with the (literal or metaphorical) stoners in the basement. They’re my people.
Dysfunctional is sharing Thanksgiving with your ex and trying to pretend we are still a happy family.
My large family get together is the xmas holiday. We all spend a week together at my mom’s house. It never fails that one of us would be in a fight with someone or not speaking to someone. Our kids (niece and nephews) are so used to our dynamic, they just roll their eyes. They actually text each other to make fun of us. But hey, we still get together and we still have a great time.
I am expecting a pretty normal Thanksgiving with my folks. We will eat the same meal we do every year, and I will probably hang out with the nieces and nephew. My parents will probably squabble, and I’ll end up filling up on boiled innards (for gravy) and pan pickings (the best part of the turkey, stuck to the bottom of the pan) with my mom before dinner is served.
Thanksgiving with the in-laws (on Saturday) will be a bit more of a toss up. It depends whether BIL’s crazy GF decides to show. There is a wine and chocolate fest that day that she needs to go to. She is trying to take BIL with her, but he is so far holding firm. If she’s there I anticipate drama. Last weekend we visited, and on Saturday after being shouldered past she threw herself on the floor and screamed until she threw up (not even kidding - apparently her back was “hurt”). This visit may also have led to me yelling at her to “calm the (eff) down.” So I guess we’ll see if she shows up, and I’ll try to be on my best behavior. :-??
^ @hyperJulie , If we could get her together with my Sis-n-law, they could have a dramatic scene competition.
I love the idea of Thanksgiving. I hosted for many years but people have ruined it for me. I have not hosted for the past two years. Even then, it has been stressful.
My fantasy is that one day we can go away for the holidays instead and do our own thing. I would really only miss spending time with my mom. DH and the kids could come along but mom has gotten to frail to travel.
Good luck. Keep the wine flowing. I was always thankful for the alcohol. ; )
Holy crap!
This reminds me of that photo of a 2-year-old, face down on the carpet, likely shrieking, during a fancy and official event, and there is President Obama looking like he finds it all very amusing! After all, it is not his kid. And that girl gets to grow up and, “hey, that was me” and be a little bit sheepish and a little bit proud.
But an adult? Holy crap! Nothing to be proud of there.
My DIL is doing her first Tday and cautiously asked if we could come to that one, so she didn’t have to have/attend two. Woo hoo!!! Are you kidding?, I’ll be at her door with my contributions.
I am super excited for her, and doubly-so for me. I’ve always wanted a big, fun Thanksgiving with lots of people This should be it. I always had the dinner and it was so small (3 kids and my parents)and boring and I wanted to get people gone so I could put up Christmas decorations. I never thought my family of origin was functional until my kids got married. This should be interesting.
Now if only the plumber and soft water guys would fix my water I could actually start cooking for tomorrow.